


kill for me

by ackersmjth



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Smut, cheating :(, dirty talk and many other dirty things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2020-10-19 12:01:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 48,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20656922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackersmjth/pseuds/ackersmjth
Summary: coming back from work at night levi meet someone really interesting, who made his world turn upside down.orlevi falls in love with murderer who's actually soft for him





	1. the usual, unusual day

**Author's Note:**

> im really excited for this one. hello

The usual day, middle of the week. If not the calendar on the desk, Levi wouldn’t be aware it’s Thursday. A whole day spent in front of it, behind the desk, then on the couch staring at different faces, listening to different voices and stories. The autumn brought a new wave of patients needing healing from the seasonal sorrow, it was felt in the weather, the streets always like their eyelashes, wet and sticky. Levi already changed his whole wardrobe from half sleeved tops to long sleeved sweaters, turtlenecks and jackets and his trainers into heavy, black boots. His green tea to black tea or milk with honey when his throat wasn’t in best condition but it never changed how he was. He was constant in feelings, devoted to his work and never tired of helping people.

November was passing day by day. Early and foggy mornings ending with dark and cold evenings. He couldn’t tell the difference between days. Sometimes checking on the temperature, sometimes looking into the calendar, it was constantly cold outside and warm inside his cabinet. Today, the one day seemed off. It seemed different since the morning like Levi could tell by the way the wind hit his cheek that something would happen in his small, routined life.

He was worried. Maybe because of how the tree was poking his window, making his shoulders shiver and the whole body feel like waking up from sleep, it was just from work. Maybe because of how his coffee seemed sweeter in the morning despite no sugar inside.

Maybe it was the way back home. The moment that could happen something. It was late in the evening, everything disappearing in the darkness of autumn. Day colder than the previous one, like the November wanted to remind of his moody way of being. Levi would only fix the brown scarf under his chin and walk against a harsh wind that tried to stop him here, in the middle of the way and listen. Listen to the howling, trees, leaves falling and something odd. Something that didn’t belong to autumn, belonged to nothing Levi knew.

Looking around Levi felt like one in horror movies he has watched once. The street was silent, the lamp above his head wasn’t working and the moon hid behind the clouds like it got scared. The wind hit his black fringe once again, covering his sight and that weird noise got louder, echoing in his ears.

Stepping into the puddle Levi found it weird, something like muffled noises were coming from alley ahead of him. He felt no fear, just a simple curiosity took over his chest making him change direction and step into more rainy puddles before entering the tight, dark place. It was a place he passed every day from work.

“Oh,” Someone let out the gasp in surprise at the end of the alley. It was surprised and caught on something. The streak of blood ran down the nose, to the white shirt. On top of the shoulders was a heavy, black jacket and the person’s breath was really quick but shallow like he threw a marathon in here.

“The hell you doing here?” Levi said out loud and his thick voice echoed between tight walls. Many questions ran through his mind and the confusion was easily to read in between his brows. “You hurt?” He added quickly, hearing as the stranger choked on his own breath.

“Ah,” The stranger moved closer, leaning head aside and the bones in his neck cracked loudly. The dim light from stars and half moon covered him. “Is there any way you are a doctor?” He asked, some of the words sounded like he was amused, the other was muffled by the sour blood on thick lips.

Levi furrowed his thin brows even more. Many unpleasant wrinkles appeared on his forehead and the beginnings of his brows were curled. “No, but the hospital is like ten minutes away from here,” He took a small step back when the stranger moved sloppily forward, holding onto the bricked wall.

“Well,” The man choked again. “It’s not that urgent really,” He coughed and the blood he swallowed just splashed on the wall.

Levi grimaced even more in disgust. It smelled in here.

“I can,” He started and immediately wanted to bit himself on the tongue. _No you cannot._ He looked up, the light came from between clouds again and the gaze he was receiving was disquieting. “Take you there,” He finished with another step back, his boot splashed the puddle, dirtying his black trousers.

The stranger noticed that he was planning on backing out. He smiled, with teeth coloured with blood, he wiped some from his face like no longer he could bear the taste. “Aren’t you too kind to a stranger you just met in the middle of the night with blood all over him?”

Just now Levi noticed more things. More blood on his hands, this one here was dried and for sure didn’t belong to the one from his big nose. His voice was low and deep and made Levi’s skin shiver more than cold ever did.

“I thought you may be hurt,” He said simply, finely hiding the small sparkle of fear deep inside him. His grey eyes were shaking as he continued. “But now I doubt it,”

“Why haven’t you run away yet then?” He asked confidently, with smirk slowly extending on his cheek. The shoulder was pressed to the wall to keep balance on the weak knees and indeed the person was in big pain.

“Why should I? It’s not like you can do a lot in this state,”

The man chuckled, the laugh shifted to rough coughing and he looked really miserable now. He made some more steps, getting dangerously close to Levi and his personal space. There was a big height difference between them so he had to look down with the sore neck. “You seem like easy to..,” He stopped with a smile. Giving a loud _hmmm_, he lowered aching neck. “Crush,”

Levi looked up and despite the sudden lack of saliva in his throat, he arched right brow high. “Is that bloody nose of yours broken? If not, I can make it,”

The man laughed clearly and loud. “You are nice. I like you, but it’s not the best time for a chit chat. So excuse me, for now,”

He glanced at Levi one last time with half smile and walked past him, limping on one leg. With every step he took he let out a groan or deep sigh.

Levi furrowed brows once again, the grimace stayed on his thin lips as he approached the stranger with ease. The smile was there, hearing small steps behind him, it couldn’t be wiped out from his face, not even with a broken nose.

They left the dark alley and Levi’s eyes grow a size bigger. He was surprised, damn surprised by the man’s appearance. His features were firm and chiselled. Hollow cheeks with sharp jawline, blue shining eyes- The grimace came back when he spoke up.

“Why are you following me? Are you a cop or something?”

“Where-,” Levi didn’t really know what to ask, where to start and how to act. It was an unusual situation that kept pressing on his curious character and natural helpful thing. “What are you even doing here?”

“I could ask you the same,”

“I’m working here. Well not here but in close I have my clinic,” He shouldn’t say that. Levi felt really confused and his tongue worked too quickly. “I wo-, I’m a psychiatrist,”

“Oh,” The man chuckled again. “That’s why you are so annoying. You want to take me to your office, show me some ugly picture and ask what I see? Or you already can tell I’m sick and need to be closed in white room?”

“You know what. Never mind. I’m going my way,” Levi turned around and left the man all alone on the empty street. He stared at the small body began to disappear and something told him not to let him go.

“Wait!” He shouted loud and something ached under his ribs. “Don’t pretend like you can’t hear. You are the only person here, I’m talking to you,”

Levi turned around and with a roll of eyes asked. “What?”

The taller man made some more steps, feeling weaker and harder to breathe. “I might actually need your help,” He said out of breath and on the last words he felt his whole body giving up.

He let go but pair of arms caught him just in time.

“Hey, you might be beaten up but you are not light,”

The man half opened his eyes, blinking and feeling dizzy. It was really hard to keep them open. “Just,” It took a while to take a breath. “Don’t take me to the hospital,”

“Oh, you woke up,” Levi kept his voice low and soft as with soundless steps he entered the room. “I actually began to think you were dead,” He walked around the bedroom but didn’t find the need to sit near the stranger who just slept for seven hours in Levi’s bed. His thoughts were already in the bathroom, washing the sheets with his hands only.

It took a while for the man to understand what happened and where he is. He found no energy to move from the position. The sheets around his body, tucked under his chin smelled like lavender and the whole room was light making his eyes hurt.

“It would be quite problematic for me to call the police and said that a dead body I just met yesterday is in my bed. I don’t know his name, nothing about him. Fucking ridiculous,” Levi chuckled to himself as he put down the glass with water next to the man.

He tried to rise but it was too painful to do so. His whole chest ached, then he felt really disgusting pain on his face. On the nose when he breathed and around the jawline when he tried to speak. The pictures from yesterday’s night were flashing in his throbbing head and all he could do was sigh and to cover the eyes with his arm. “I’m Erwin,”

“Erwin,” Levi repeated, testing how it sounds in his own mouth. Sounded pretty normal. The tongue curled around his palate when he said it again.

“I’m thankful for that,” The stranger, now called Erwin spoke up again. Sounding nothing like hours ago. He was tired, maybe sad too. Levi couldn’t tell, not yet. Not when the heavy arm was covering half of his face. “After that it was good I ended up meeting you,”

Levi walked some more around, oddly feeling like he wasn't inside his own bedroom. The confusion couldn't leave his mind, it kept asking him many questions he had no time to ask. The only thing he learned so far was his name.

“Could you explain what happened that you are in this shitty state, Erwin?” Levi pressed on the last word, hands folded on his chest.

“This?” The man pointed at the bloody shirt, hands and everything else that was in odd stains or scratched or even bruised. ”It’s really nothing. Things have been worse for me,”

“Oh, okay. I guess it’s fine then,” Levi tried to act normal, totally not surprised.

The man reached for the glass with water and drank it with just one deep sip. He tried to lift himself up but in failure again. The throbbing in chest didn't leave so quickly now.

“Damn, I really began to think he broke some of my old bones,”

_He_. Levi caught that then rubbed the bridge of his nose. “What should I do with you now? Should I kick you out of my bed and let you sleep at the doorway? Don’t mind me, I’m just thinking out loud,”

The blonde chuckled and rubbed his tired face, almost every part of it ached. The jawline and nose the most.

“Do you have a place to go?” Levi asked softer somehow, in a worrying way.

“Uh, I think so. If I remember well yesterday I had a house,”

“Just,” Levi sighed taking the empty glass and exchanging gazes with the stranger, or Erwin, just Erwin. “Stay here. I will look at that nose, it doesn’t look good,”

“Tell me. You must be a doctor,” Erwin said.

Two small and extremely delicate hands been working on his face for a while now. Levi came to the bed with the whole basket of things he held in the cabinet behind a green cross.

He sat close to Erwin and the first glance at his face from up close left some shivers on his spine.

A couple of bruises began to appear under his left eye, above the brow and a very reddish on the cheek. There was dozen of small cuts on his whole face like it had a good ride on the asphalt and Levi treated every one of them with the ointment.

The biggest issue was with his nose. It had a deep cut in between his nostrils plus Erwin grimaced and let out dozen of curses every time Levi would touch it, even just with a tip of a cotton ball.

“It’s okay. I’m not touching it anymore,” He would say and then again and again try to wash the blood from under his nostrils.

Of course.. besides all the critical spots on Erwin’s face, Levi noticed something more. He wetted another cotton ball with warm water and pressed it lightly to the forehead. Pushing blonde hair up, really soft hair, there was a wide forehead, covered in a few wrinkles at the middle. He put the cotton again in water and rubbed the skin between his brows. Big, hairy and expressive.

The colour of his skin was warm. Even in this season that lacked of sun, it seemed that some rays of it stayed in Erwin’s skin. It shone like gold with the blonde facial hair down on his cheek. Another wrinkles around his eyes, now closed, but sometimes Levi would catch them and watch deep blue colour for less than three seconds cause always one of them would look away. He quickly learned the face, it was too dry, seemed like the owner didn’t care really much about it.

Dried blood around pink lips, well shaped and moving all the time until Levi told him to be quiet. 

With point finger, Levi rubbed the ointment to the sharp jawline. His wrist moving but eyes in a different direction, somewhere higher, on the pink lips and the corners naturally curled. Levi was curious, to have such an occasion to examine a strangers face.

“Your hands feel too good for a normal person,” He said quietly. Watching Levi opening a new package of some ointment and then treating his nostrils.

“Can you stop moving your head?”

“I’m not moving my head,” He said, moving his head as he spoke.

“Then,” Levi looked down. Having a whole big man under him. “Just shut your lips. Don’t speak,” 

Levi looked closer at the nose. It was big and Erwin squinted his eyes again when Levi was about to touch it.

“Is it broken?”

“I’m not a doctor, but- I don’t think so,” Levi sighed. With thin brows down he shifted his eyes, from the nose to just a little higher, to pair of eyes watching him.

Something shine in the colour, feeling the intensity growing and the stare being too long without any words. Levi felt the tips of his ears warm and he shifted back.

“That should do for now,”

“I’m glad-, Thank you..” Erwin said softly and caught himself. “Hey. I don’t even know your name, after all you did to me-,”

“Levi. I’m Levi,”

“Levi,” This time Erwin repeated. It went smoothly from his lips. “Really nice name, never heard of it before. Is it Italian?”

“French,” He said automatically. Moving his body even lower on the sheets. Some of it fell down uncovering the bloody shirt. “What about your ribs? Are they broken?”

Erwin looked down, then at Levi with really nothing in his mind. “I think so.”

Levi just nodded. “Let’s leave it like that. I’m worried I don’t have an ointment for broken ribs.” He stood and before straightening the spine, he leaned to fix the sheets and tug it to Erwin’s neck. “Now get back to sleep and recover that broken nose,”

Levi closed the doors quietly and sighed pressing back to the wood. _What the hell am I doing?_

He kept checking on the room. Erwin was snoring quietly, still lying only on his back cause any other position will give him the unnecessary pain.

Levi caught himself staring longer, like a creep. The wooden doors were squeezed between his fingers as he closed them and went back to the couch where he will be spending the night with just thin blanket and cup of tea.

“Levi,” Erwin muttered as he saw a silhouette in the doors. The first word pressed on his tongue automatically, like the whole night he was dreaming to say it out loud. “I thought it all was just a dream.” He said still in a sleepy and hoarse voice but he somehow managed to lift himself and half sit with a pillow behind his back. It was five in the afternoon the next day.

“You’re awake,” Levi said simply. Moving inside the room he opened the door wider to let some fresh air inside. “Eren is going to be here soon and-,” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, feeling the fresh undercut between his fingers. “I kinda don’t know how to explain this whole situation,”

Erwin moved slightly and a twisted grimace appeared on pink lips. “Who is Eren?”

“My boyfriend,” He said less confidently. Levi then watched closely Erwin’s reaction and couldn’t read anything deeper than pain and slight confusion.

“So you are kindly saying that I need to get out of this comfortable bed?”

Levi felt really complicated. He kept a stranger in his bed almost for two days now. It could be really odd if not that the state of his unexpected guest wasn’t the best so Levi couldn’t just throw him away. He couldn’t really imagine his boyfriend’s reaction.

“Can you?” Levi asked, somehow softly.

He tried. Erwin tried to stand up. After many hours for the first time he opened the warm sheets and let cold inside with sigh. First foot on floor, another one and when he stood up his whole head got dizzy. Silver starts flied around his head, twinkling aggressively and pretty.

“I think I’ll be fine,” He said out of breath and when he made some more moves he was caught once again by Levi, feeling like throwing up his insides.

“Yeah, I think so too,” Levi said and helped Erwin to sit down on the other side of the mattress, the cooler one.

“Sorry,” He laughed still, even when his face was paler than paper. The bruises seemed darker on his face and Levi got worried that only sleeping won't help him to heal it all. “It’s embarrassing to be this big and so clumsy,”

Levi couldn’t let out anything but another sight, “Just stay here, I will do it somehow,”

Three of his fingers moved and just now he realised that his hand was all that time on Erwin’s shoulder. He let it go finally and crossed hands at his chest to keep them busy.

“Do you need anything? Like food or piss?”

Erwin chuckled and the pillow that belonged to Levi was already snuggled to his cheek like his own. The sheets sank in him, in his sweat and maybe someone’s blood. “I’m fine, just tired, so tired,”

Levi nodded and when he was about to leave he stopped again hearing some hoarse words directed to him.

“Levi, thanks,” He said from the fluffy pile of sheets, looking miserable than ever but a small smile was still there. “You are my guardian angel,”

“Yeah, yeah. Sleep tight creep,”


	2. i saw you behind the fog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for small mistakes. i wrote it like in one day and its 2am

Not longer ago soft knocking on the doors sounded throughout the flat of Levi’s. It was rather the smaller one but really cozy. Every of three rooms, the kitchen, living room and bedroom were made with precision and thought of it as a place he spends rather most of time, besides the small office in the clinic he’s working. Levi would describe it as simple as he could, _his_, just his.

The long, grey blanket fell to the wooden floor and Levi tugged it all the way to the doors still wrapped around his shoulders, falling to exposed collarbones. The flat felt rather cold, despite windows closed and the heating on.

His steps against the floor were barely hearable, the whole room was eaten by the darkness that thick clouds brought with the harsh wind. He stood on the tippy toes looking through the hole in doors just to make sure it is really his boyfriend.

He came inside with uninvited guests, cold air and blush on rounded cheeks. Around the neck was a gift from Levi, thick, wool scarf. Eren adored it, knowing well how Levi chooses the gifts, with his heart and with the thought of usefulness in the future.

He greeted Levi with a long kiss on his warm cheek and natural smile with his front teeth shining in dark room. He knew the flat as his own pocket, knowing where to put his boots and where a pair of slippers were placed for him. Knew without asking that Levi would love a cup of black tea in his favourite white mug and later to cuddle at the couch.

It was a small part of the autumn’s routine. Whenever he came, their places were twenty minutes walk apart from each other and Eren never used a car, that’s why he always came with reddish nose and cheeks. And Levi always complained how freezing the tip of his nose was when it came to hide in the warmth of his long neck.

Levi really tried to act normal. He didn’t bring the topic of a stranger in his bed, thinking that maybe they won’t end up in his bedroom and he would avoid telling the long story of how the two met and Eren’s doubtful stare.

It could go well, so well but after one, huge mug of warm and sweet tea with a small spoon of honey, Eren’s bladder was full and he insisted on going to the bathroom despite Levi’s thighs being really good place to stay in forever. However, it was impossible to go to the toilet without going through the bedroom.

“Oh,”

Levi followed him like a shadow and slapped his own forehead with an open hand.

Erwin wasn’t sleeping, lying with his back straight and pillows moved higher, his eyes were wide open. Maybe the sleep didn’t come, or he just tried really hard not to fall asleep, to focus and catch what could be happening in the room next to his. He heard television playing really quietly, some chuckles and sometimes wet noise of mouths. His eyes shone as he eyed Levi’s boyfriend. Erwin spent some good time imagining what was Levi’s type, how his boyfriend could look, what he liked about Levi, what he didn’t.

“Hello,” The blonde said finally, sounding light.

“Hello?” Eren said back and wide, green eyes moved onto Levi. The look on his face was really hilarious, almost like asking for help to understand this whole situation.

“It’s a long story Eren.” Levi sighed and sat at the edge of the bed then pointed at Erwin with an open hand. “I meet this creep in the middle of the night, he was half dead, bleeding, throwing up with blood and shit and I really couldn’t let him die there so I took him here and he’s been like that. Dirtying my sheets with that mess,”

Levi spoke slowly. Pressing different pressure on words, some with disgust, some with annoyance and some sounded helpless. Eren needs a dozen of seconds to progress everything in his mind. He saw the bruises and scratches on the man’s face and to hold Levi’s side Erwin even showed the bloody shirt.

The brown haired boy seemed quickly convinced. He even smiled to Erwin and they shook hands, however, Erwin’s grip was still really weak. “I’m not really surprised,” He spoke directly to Erwin and Levi really wasn’t surprised how easy it was for Eren to spoke to the strangers. He felt the tight feeling left his chest when Eren really understood him, better than anyone. “Levi has such a good heart, he loves to help people. I can’t count how many times he had helped me or his patients from the clinic,”

Erwin smiled at that and Levi’s cheeks seemed warmer and darker but his words were the total opposite. “Stop with this crappy shit, would you? Just let him sleep and go piss,”

“Alright,” Eren said with a warm smile and head shaking with disbelief. _You really aren’t the only one who can’t believe in this hilarious situation, Eren._

Erwin quickly noticed some things about Eren. How he was taller than Levi but not himself. How his voice and smile were natural and pleasant for the eye and how it didn’t leave his face not even for a while. With his hair and skin complexion, he brought warm into the room, smelling like wood and fire. He seemed younger than Levi but fine, he was fine.

Levi suddenly turned around to Erwin and with a softer expression between brows, asked. “How are you feeling?”

He felt better seeing and hearing the concern from Levi. His sharp, naturally severe features were all softened like a marshmallow in front of the fireside. His brows shaped now like half circles, lifted upwards. Was he aware of how soft he looked now? Erwin asked and got no answer. He blinked and spoke finally. “I think,” He put a hand to his forehead. “I think I have a fever,”

“What?” The brows suddenly dropped down in a worry. Levi moved closer to Erwin, with the soft move he pushed blonde hair back and pressed warm hand to even warmer forehead. “Shit. It’s really high,” The hand left the burning skin and Levi fixed the pillow next to his ear. “Should I after all call the ambulance?”

“No. I’m fine,”

“You are fine,” Levi repeated with amused voice. “Look at you. You look miserable as fuck, I’m afraid soon I will really be calling about a dead body,”

“I hope you will throw me a nice funeral,” The man chuckled and his eyes twinkled when Levi pulled the sheets to his chin, knuckles brushing against his skin. Thousands of shivers ran through his body, making his shoulders shake. His whole body felt like it was burning, every bone ached and the trickle of sweat ran down his temple. His gaze also seemed a little bit foggy but he didn’t mention it to Levi to leave him in less worry. He just pressed on the smile to stay on his lips.

“I don’t think you deserve a funereal. I will throw you where I found you,” Levi’s voice also sounded lighter. Erwin thought it might be hallucinations but he saw corners of Levi’s mouth curled.

“Well, if that’s so. I will be happy just to die in here,”

Levi blinked, watching the smile. It could be really nice if not the bruises all over his face. He reached with hand to the purple bruise on the bone under his eye. “Does it hurt?” He asked very quietly, the tip of his finger brushing the colourful skin as he leaned closer.

“Not when you touch this lightly,” Erwin said back.

“What about the nose?” This time Levi didn’t touch. He tried but somehow hesitated and moved his hand back, placed in on his thigh.

“Hurt as hell,”

“Didn’t you mean to let him sleep?” Eren asked, fixing his black top from inside his jeans.

Levi stood up and blinked. “I was just checking,” He glanced lastly at Erwin. “If you need anything just ask, okay?”

“Mmm,” He nodded with his head and the sheets were covering half of his mouth. By the eyes, Levi could still say there was a smile.  
  
  
  


Eren lowered his voice near Levi. His hands were wrapped tightly around his small waist and constantly he had to inhale the sweet aroma from Levi. “For how long do you mean to keep him?”

Levi shrugged his shoulders and moved closer into his personal space. He felt the warmth radiating and sighed relaxed. “One more night will be okay,”

Eren nodded and shifted keeping Levi even closer. Their chests brushed and he had to move head back to have a good look on Levi’s pale, stoic face. “Do you want me to stay with you tonight? You don’t know him after all. It might be dangerous,”

Levi thought for a while and then nodded looking up at green eyes. “Yes,”

Eren kissed the soft lips as another answer. Another kiss and another, tips of their noses rubbing making Levi chuckle. “Where do you think you keep your hands? We are not alone,”

“I know, what a pity,” He mumbled with hands still on Levi’s lower body. Squeezing his small bum through the black trousers and making him shift with another kisses and giggles.

They cuddled a little bit and kissed more. Last week was really busy for both of them and the closeness was an urgent need. “I will go for food and I will be back, kay?”

“Sure,”

He left and Levi couldn’t help but to check on Erwin again. He was snoring quietly as Levi crept into his own room to check the temperature on his forehead. The warmth coming from his body was really high, but it was a good sight. Levi eventually left for him a glass of water with painkillers and something to eat.

Eren came back some later with food and they spend the rest of time like this. Eating, watching movies and cuddling. It was something Levi really liked, but he blinked at the television and realised the last twenty minutes of movie his mind was away from here. To be more precise, in another room. He couldn’t get him out of his head, thinking only about what happened to him and what could happen if Levi didn’t meet him. If he’s really hurt and how much more he could help him.

With small sniff, he shifted on the couch. The arm wrapped around him tightened again and rubbed the sweater. “Something wrong?”

He just shook his head, lying cheek on Eren’s shoulder. The vision of television was becoming blurry again and the mind began to wander again, with breath slowly pacing down and eyes closing.

He felt asleep with Eren on the couch, later changing positions to more comfortable. Turning his back to Eren, Levi somehow woke up. He opened the eyes to dark room, turned off the television and when he looked up he saw Erwin standing by his own strength.

He was startled at first, thinking it might be just dream but he quietly left the sofa and approached him. “Why are you here? What are you doing?” He whispered.

“Going home,” Erwin whispered back after a short glance at the person on the couch. They moved aside to the hallway. “You did enough for me Levi, you even got your boyfriend sleep on the sofa instead of in your big bed,”

“So just wait till the morning? Why are you leaving in the middle of the night? Were you trying to rob me or some shit?”

Erwin smiled warmly. “I just couldn’t sleep anymore. I think the fever let go,” He grabbed his black jacket, put on the shoulders. “You might not believe me but that’s not who I am, Levi. I’m not a thief,” His tone began to be more serious. “I sincerely am thankful for what have you did. Probably no one would do it all, judging by how strange I looked.” He leaned lower, to whisper and hypnotise him with blue eyes and take his breath away from the closeness. The voice was lower and quieter than ever and the expression down. “You are truly someone,”

Levi really believed him. No matter how creepy or weird the whole situation seemed, he could believe Erwin in every word.

“So,” He started with a small sigh and stare at the carpet. “You will be alright?”

The smile came back to Erwin’s wide face. The smile was wide too and he leaned back, straightening the spine. “I hope so. We will never know how things will go. Aren’t we?”

Levi glanced long. “Indeed,”

They began to move to the doors, Erwin wore his shoes in a quiet atmosphere and everything ached but he kept stoic face.

“I will finally be able to take that off,” He said as the silence kept between them. His big hand touched wooden doors and pressed onto it. “Should I say see you around? When I never really saw you around?”

Levi shifted on his bare feet. He felt oddly sentimental. As if he was saying goodbye to his old friend, knowing they would never meet again. None of them turned on the lamp in the hallway but somehow Levi could clearly see every scratch, bruise, could count every blink.

“Should I keep looking for you at that tight, creepy alley?” Levi asked him then, with brows curled at their beginnings and something shining in his eyes. Maybe hope.

Erwin chuckled and shook head. The cut under his eyes shines with dried blood. “I will try to avoid that place and a situation like this,” His fingers pressed more onto the doors. “Thanks again,”

“Stop thanking. It’s my job to help people,”

“It’s your job,” Erwin repeated. The silence fell, no one could avoid that. It fell between them and there was nothing else to do than stare.

Stare at each other, with many words to say but none left their mouths. Three in the morning ticked on the clock and Levi couldn’t control his face expression changing to really shitty. Corners of his lips were really heavy, something dragged them down, the same with ends of his brows, feeling like his own face was twisting in sorrow.

Erwin bent one of his knee, still taller than Levi could ever get.

“I should just leave now and give you back your bed and everything that I perturbed with my coming,” His hand fell to the handle, leaving prints of his whole sweaty hand. He twisted it with a sound, the doors opened and light came in.

“Hey-, um, If you need help. You know where my clinic is. Just ask for Levi-,” Small pause. He sounded not like him and his eyes were so mellow now. He could just blame it on the night or being asleep. “I will be there if you need-, more acting about fake doctor or just talk- or even a bed to sleep in agai-“

“Levi. Thanks. I get it. You want to see me again,” The blonde made a step outside the flat. The light sucked him showing ugly eyes bags, dirty clothes and greased hair. “I hope there will be the next time,”

And he left. And Levi felt weirdly empty, when he quietly came back to the sofa, he laid only at the edge, with one move he could fall. The cold hit his ankles and body shook from the low temperature that naturalised itself after holding open doors for so long. He shook from cold next to his warm boyfriend and warmer blanket. He was able to fall asleep hour later of thinking about Erwin just to dream about nothing.

Levi thought he would forget Erwin when the days were passing and his washed sheets lost the smell of his body.

_Is it normal?_ Levi thought, feeling like his own body was betraying him. Three nights after Erwin left he would really wiggle in the sheets. Pulling it over his nose, inhaling with eyes closed, trying to feel anything but only could feel the lilac smell of detergent. Rubbing his ear against the pillow, squeezing it to his stomach and tightening knees around the sheets.

Two days after, thinking about nothing in particular his eyes shone when he found a small stain of badly washed blood. It was really blank and barely resembles the red colour but it was still here. It made him remember.

Levi almost forgot him. Forgot how he looks. Well, that may be a lie. Despite the picture becoming blurry Levi still had in mind blue eyes and blonde hair.

And maybe the forehead with wrinkles, the nose with thick, long structure, the lips and it’s light shade of pink and the smile and the voice. Deep voice calling his name.

Despite thinking about him for almost every day, no matter if it was hour or minute, he was forgetting him. When Levi got really busy with work, staying over time and not even having much time for his boyfriend. He would drive to work, spend hours and hours with mind busy with his patients. He would come back late, tired, still doing some paper work and house work.

Maybe he forgot him when he lied in the bed, at night and the sleep came right away with his brain not letting his mind wander with memories.

Levi really thought he will never see him again when the days were passing by and his life became routined again.

Levi felt really tired. Black tea was replaced by strong coffee today. _It’s the weather_, he heard it from four different patients who had similar symptoms and told himself that._ It’s the weather,_ he blames it like the others.

The patient sitting in his couch didn’t really help. His monotonous, quiet voice made Levi rub the bridge of his nose. It was Harold, a really awful case. Wife left him for a younger version of his old self, he lost his work and his cat has died. Plus he was really shy person and to pull out some information from him was hard work for Levi. It was a good thing his patience for patients never reached its peak.

It seemed like the weather didn’t work on Harold today cause he really opened up. Speaking about how he threw away his wife things his voice shook and red hands were trembling. The sudden knocking on doors made both of them look into their direction.

Levi looked up and in the doors was the face he somewhere remembered but wasn’t sure where. It happens often, he meets new patients, their faces all seem similar.

Levi didn’t recognise him at first. So he asked. “Yes?”

“Um- I,” The man began to start but something alarmed in Levi’s head. He turned around to Harold, seeing his knees tightened together and white knuckles around them. “Please wait a moment Harold. Have a drink of your tea before it gets cold,”

Levi sent him a tiny smile and left outside the room.

Suddenly he felt like a harsh wind has pressed his back against the doors and he couldn’t breathe and couldn’t really move. “Erwin,” He gasped and wanted to reach to close his mouth of how his voice sounded.

Indeed it was him, but different. Everything was different than Levi remembered.

His face lacked of dark bruises, was all healed and radiated with a healthy tinge, almost like bathed in sun and gold. The hair was neatly combed and pushed back with pomade or maybe just with the hairspray.

“Sorry for interrupting. You told me to come and I came,” He said, sounding just like him the other night.

It seemed like Erwin was fine. Indeed, he looked better than fine. The ribs under his white shirt probably felt good too.

“Erwin,” Levi almost choked on the words. It’s been long time since he said that out loud, earlier he couldn’t find any excuse for it. “I’m glad you are fine,” Better than glad. Some time earlier Levi thought about his awful health, the fever, body shivers, it was something really serious and Erwin just seemed like he didn’t care much about his own health.

Levi suddenly remembered about his patient just behind the doors and the breath he held left his chest. “I can’t really talk now. If you want you can go to the reception and-“

“No, I just wanted to thank you. More properly, looking more like I do in a casual day than the other time we have met. I thought you may trust me more like this and feel less.. disgusted,”

“You came just to thank? You did that earlier. Dozens of times,” He said with brows furrowed in a natural way.

“But you thought I was going to rob you,” He said and the smile on his lips was rather weak and somehow sad. “I don’t know what else you thought about me, Levi. I really thought about it and that was crazy of you that you kept me there. So here I am, in less dangerous form and less suspicious,”

Levi eyed him and chuckled ironically. “You came here just to show off, huh?”

“No, no Levi. You really don’t get me, how come you are a psychiatrist?” Levi was about to bite back rudely but Erwin didn’t mind and cut him off. “Please take it. It’s for not leaving me there to pass out on the street and taking care of me and _hahhh_.” His jawline was sharper than ever, teeth really white and Levi felt his chest aching just from looking up at that view. “Just letting me inside your place,”

The big pile of money was messily held in Erwin’s fingers. Some of the papers were crumbled some torn but it was a lot of. Levi stared at them for a while, then found something better, Erwin’s hand.

It was big, the fingers were long and could easily grab a lot of things. Like.. things.

He blinked and finally looked up, arching right brow high, like nothing in particular was messing his arranged mind. “Put that away. I don’t need money from you,”

“I insist. It’s still not how much I owe you,”

“I said I don’t want it.” Levi pressed on his words. He then sighed after getting worked up so quickly and once again remembered he is at work. “Can you wait here? I will be free in an hour,”

Suddenly the blue eyes got lighter and seemed brighter. “I will wait,”

Before going inside Levi said. “Don’t go making more problems,”

The doors shut loudly making Harold jump in his place, pillows around his body felt to the floor and he choked thick saliva. “Is everything alright, Levi?”

Ten fingers squeezed the cold handle, until his knuckles became white and something ached in his wrist. “It’s alright. Let’s go back to you, shall we?”

He nodded slightly and waited till his doctor sat opposite of him.

“Where was I?”

Levi blinked, his gaze was burning a hole in red carpet and the question, spoken with delicate voice finally reached his foggy mind making him look up. He really didn’t know the answer, he caught himself thinking about Erwin again. Hour.   
  
  


And in the hour Erwin came inside, looking around a cozy but neat room. With huge sofa in the middle and smaller one on the opposite. It was opposite of Levi’s bright and modern flat, this one looked like fire and smelled like a forest. There was also a big desk, probably the one where Levi spends most time and announces the verdict. If you are healthy or something’s wrong with your head.

“It’s nice in here,” He said simply walking around, seeing many books. When he turned around he saw Levi with his back against the wooden desk, watching his every step. Hands crossed on his chest and he looked really ominously.

“What?” Erwin asked somehow amused. “Do you want to play as my doctor and ask me some questions?” He lifted his hairy brows and also rested back on the furniture, opposite and with distance to Levi. “Go ahead,”

Levi glanced some more at his open and confident posture. Long legs now bend in knees and opened at sides. “What are you doing in your life?” His tone was serious, fingers pressing down the paper that kept changing pages in his notebook.

“As my work? Well,” He chuckled there. “It’s complicated. Sometimes I have work sometimes I don’t,”

“What about now?”

“Am I looking like I’m at work?”

Levi squinted his eyes and wrote something on the folder that suddenly got into his hands, the same with the pen and glasses on his nose.

“Hey, don’t write some shit on me there. I have nothing to hide and I’m not psychic that’s for sure,”

“Huh,” Levi said with eyes on the page and pen still moving. “So, can you tell me what happened that night?” The pen bounced against the folder, sharp strokes wrote some more words that Erwin couldn’t see.

“Well, I just got into a fight. Nothing dramatic, everyone sometimes got into fight, right?” He still sounded light, his voice and constant face expression made everything less official and serious.

Levi pressed one hand to the page and the metal end of the pen to his puckered lips. “With who?”

“With who,” Erwin repeated and began to think. “With a friend, an ex friend now,”

“Why did you fight?”

“Can you stop asking questions?”

“You said you have nothing to hide,”

“I do have nothing to hide but I didn’t even come to speak about it with you.”

Levi sighed and the glasses fell to his neck. “Tell me, Erwin. You came here after so long and expected me not to be curious why your ribs were broken, why you had cuts from the knife on your jacket and why you keep acting like it’s nothing? I can really see that you are acting,” He closed the folder, his steps sounded really heavy on old, creaking floor as he moved closer to Erwin. Close enough to hear his deep breath. “Tell me the truth. I don’t want your money, or your thanking, just the truth,”

The smirk faded away. Erwin also stood up, taking one step and lowering neck straight into the grey eyes of Levi’s. “You really wanna know?” His voice ran through Levi’s spine, making him feel the shivers.

Levi hesitated inside but nodded. “Yes,”

“I was there to kill,” He said with lightning hitting sea in his blue eyes. “I meant to kill a person,”

The exchanging of stares probably has never been this intense in Levi’s life. Erwin was the first one that blinked, made a steps back again and his lower body rested on armrest from the couch. “It seemed that the guy was expecting this cause he wasn’t alone and that just how it happened. If not you passing by, I would probably be the one dead,”

Not a single smile appeared on the lips, it almost feel like it wasn’t him when he was this serious. 

Levi’s mouth twisted. It took him a while to speak up. “So you are,”

“A hired killer? Hitman?” He was faster than him with words. “You can call it like that. Sometimes they hire me,” He took a pause to make eye contact with Levi. “Sometimes I hire myself,”

“Well shit,”

Erwin somehow relaxed, his shoulders seemed less tensed and legs opened again. “Well, what are you going to do now, doctor?” He lifted right brow. “Write me down some pills? Or call the cops?”

“I will do none. As I said, I was curious,” Levi said, somehow sounded really natural and there was lack of expression on his small face.

Erwin squinted his eyes and again he was the one who got closer. Through Levi’s personal space that he treasured well. Like wind, he moved quickly. “You will just move one with the thought of murderer knowing your work place and where you live?” He made another big step, Levi took one backwards and his hips hit the desk with a sound of pen falling down.

Thick smell of perfumes made Levi hard to breath, his hand just by accident brushed against Erwin’s but he didn’t even dodge. Looking up, at the blue eyes, demanding answer from him, Levi just nodded with his black bangs bouncing. “I think we are good for today,”

“Indeed we are,” Erwin smiled naturally at the end, made a step backwards and watched Levi taking a deep breath then putting down the files on desk. “Are you leaving now?”

“Yes. You were the last one,”

Erwin nodded, repeating the words inside his head. “Do you mind if I would drive you home?”

“Oh,” Things been moving so quickly for Levi now. All he could think about for was now here and he didn’t know how to act. “Actually I came by Eren’s car. Since the last time he insisted of me driving rather than walking through the dark alleys, just to be more safe,”

“I will walk you to the car then,”

Levi glanced at him, with blink and small smile resting on his lips he said. “Well, then.” He had nothing more to say really.

The car next to Levi’s was Erwin’s. This late the parking was rather empty, the sky was clear and wind tried to made Levi’s scarf fly away. He caught it just in time and found Erwin holding the end of the fabric.

“Thanks for the walk,”

“Pleasure is on my side.”

“I should go now, it’s dark.”

“Fine,”

“By the way,” Erwin said when Levi opened his car and stopped him just with the voice from getting inside. “Would you mind not telling your boyfriend about- um, what I told you today? It’s not like everyone knows about it,”

Levi chuckled and rested his arm on half open doors from the car. The concern was really visible on Erwin’s face. “Who else knows it?”

“No one, really,”

Levi blinked and moved forward his hips, he tugged some strands of his black bangs behind the ear cause the wind kept blowing them away. “I’m the only one knowing?” He asked gently.

“Exactly,” Erwin also pushed his hips forward, making his whole body inches closer to Levi. He rested his wrist on the doors and watched the hair behind Levi’s ear, showing more of his skin and cheekbones.

Levi caught him staring elsewhere, tips of ears burned as he said with voice little higher. “You shouldn’t be worried. I’m good at keeping secrets,”

Erwin chuckled and nodded then, pleased, with many things. “Yeah. Let’s just keep that between us,”

“I should-, go now,” Levi opened the doors more and Erwin’s wrist has fallen down. He placed it behind his hip and Levi made a step back into the car.

“Go, go. He’s probably waiting,”

“Who?”

“Eren,”

“Oh, yes,” Levi made a simple face. “He’s probably waiting,” He repeated.

“See you around, then,” Erwin winked at him with half smirk and Levi was only able to shut the doors, and hide behind the wheel.

He felt not only the ears but the whole neck burning, cheeks feeling warmer and he quickly realised that once again he had no information about Erwin, not his number nor even where he’s living.

Levi opened the doors but Erwin wasn’t here. His car was absent and it was dead silent.

“Shit,” Levi drove home longer route, maybe he hoped to see Erwin around but it didn’t happen and he ended at Eren’s home.

Later in bed, with hands wrapped around Eren’s waist and nose in his brown, smelling like apples hair, his mind repeated _killer, murderer _and behind that was a constant smile.

Somehow Levi couldn’t really imagine it.

Levi waited. Everyday he waited for another interrupter in his session, or a car parked next to his. He waited for Erwin everyday. Counting clouds when he had break. Fingers tracing new droplets of rain on his window. Hoping to see him, hear and learn something new about him. It’s like things been oddly fascinating, his person, his personality, everything like magnets would bring Levi closer. Would keep his mind busy, making scenarios. That every time he went to the car, or every time someone knocked on the doors...

It seemed like Erwin just watched and waited to come in the less expected time. Like it’s part of his plan. Maybe everything was planned after all?

“Another good day,”

“Yeah, it wasn’t that bad,” Levi said as he left the clinic hour earlier than ever. It was still very obvious that he was tired. After all, spending a whole day with people might be exhausting.

He gets into the car, shut the doors, quickly put the key inside, his mind already under the warm shower, in fresh pyjama and a warm bed. He turned the key, holding it but the car didn’t work with him.

“What the hell,” Levi murmured under his nose, tried again and again as the lights popped up and everything went black again. “Piece of shit,” He cursed and took off the seatbelts. He didn’t know much about cars so looking under the mask will probably be useless but he still decided to give it a try.

Just when he was about to open up the mask he saw _him_. “Oh,” The same reaction always. Somehow he can’t help himself and the gasp leaves his mouth automatically from the sight of really tall person with that light aura around him. “Erwin, you are here,” He let out when the man got closer. Looking like the definition of autumn, there was long coat on his shoulders almost reaching to his knees, eyes were light like the cloudless sky and what could be the rain and fallen leaves and the cold? Levi didn’t know that yet.

“You already here? I’m lucky I caught you. I was about to go and asks nicely the pretty receptionist if you are free,”

“Yeah, I ended a little earlier today. Glad you are here, I have a small problem,”

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, um,” It would be a lie to tell that he wasn’t startled by how Erwin suddenly was here, right in the time, next to him. “Can you look under the mask? This crap won’t work all of sudden,”

“Sure,” The blonde half smiled, lifting the mask with one hand. Levi turned on the lamp from his phone and lit the way every where Erwin asked him to.

“Anything?” Levi asked some time later, hopeless, turning off the led and crossing hands on his chest.

Erwin shut down the mask with a sound and leaned both his wrists on the car, body leaning towards Levi. “I’m guessing it must be the accumulation. I can fix that for you tomorrow,”

“Could you?”

“Yeah, no problem,”

“Thanks,” Levi tugged some of his hair behind the ear, the wind was really something annoying, especially for Levi’s long hair. Erwin had no problem with that as seemed, his blonde hair somehow stayed in place, as if the wind was too scared to ruin it. He saw Erwin shifting closer to him. Thinking he looks even prettier like that.

“Right now I can take you home,” He suggests firstly, after staring at each other. Simply, thousand thoughts in mind, emotions maybe two or three visible.

“Can you?”

“Yes, that’s why I am here. Take your bag with you,”

“Oh sure,”

And now Levi was a sudden passenger in Erwin’s car, parked just next to his. It was black, the windows were darker too and it almost seemed like late night.

Inside the car was nice too, really nice and smelled freshly and newly. The leather seats were shining and Levi thought that hired killers must have a lot of money. He glanced at the watch on Erwin’s wrist then caught his stare.

“What are you thinking about?” The blonde asked warmly, with corners of lips curled and natural, charming smile resting on his face where it really belonged. The car was working quietly and he could hear Levi’s small breaths.

“Actually,” He started. “Could you drive me to Eren’s? I was meant to sleep at his today so..”

The hand somehow tightened on the leather wheel and Erwin turned it harshly into another street. Gladly both of them had seatbelts on. “Sure, direct me then,”

Levi left the rude comment for himself and finally relaxed the tensed shoulders on the seat. The bag was still squeezed between his knees. “Left here. So what brought you to my clinic again?”

He shrugged the wide shoulders and kept eyes on the street. “Just visiting my doctor,”

Levi rolled his eyes, despite the weird feeling inside his chest. He would categorise it as a pleasing one. “You should finally book a proper meeting. First came when I was busy and now when I was done,”

“I thought I don’t need to book you,”

Levi chuckled, it supposed to be ironical but sounded more dry and awkward. “Why would you thought so?”

“Isn’t there a rule like that between friends?”

“So we are friends now? Turn right here,”

Erwin stopped on red light, body moved forward and he leaned both arms on the wheel. Head finally moved towards Levi and the sharp jawline was really exposed in this angle. “Aren’t we?” He asked gazing fiercely at Levi’s face, attacking him with this blue gaze and seriousness with hidden irritability.

“Shit knows what are we. Do hired killers even have friends?” Levi laughed shortly, again, maybe it was nervous as the blue eyes didn’t even blink.

“No,” It was green so he moved and changed gear quietly. “But I think you might work. When I told you about myself you didn’t even shift.”

Levi was silent for a while. Remembering their small talk in his office. “As a psychiatrist, I heard a lot, Erwin. Even worse shit than this,”

He chuckled deeply and Levi swallowed at how deep it was. If it was water, Levi would drown. “Like what?”

“Can’t tell. Left here.”

“Why not? I won’t tell anyone. It’s just us,”

Levi squinted his eyes and when Erwin looked at him he reached with hand to turn his chin again to the street.

“We are friends and I know nothing about you than.. those two things. Your name and your work,”

“Good. I like to keep it like that,”

“I don’t. Tell me some more,” Levi turned his body towards Erwin, shifting on the leather chair. He ignored eyes watching his movement, not directly his face.

“Like what? Who was the first person I killed?”

Levi sighed, almost done with him. “Can you talk about something other than killing people? Like,” He pretended to think. “Do you have someone?”

The light brow was arched and he shook head. “Dead,”

Levi furrowed brows and wished the car was staying still so he could leave.

“It’s hard for anyone to be with me, you know? You must like the risk,”

“Risk of what?”

Erwin smirked and shrugged shoulders. “You never know,”

“You really don’t like talking about you. You try to turn everything into huge ass secret,” Levi said slightly annoyed and Erwin laughed at how quickly it comes for him. To get angry, annoyed or flustered.

“Isn’t better like that? You get so curious Levi. With time you will get all the answers.”

“Not curious, you are just annoying,” He rolled the eyes again and two breaths later he added. “We are here,” He pointed with his finger. “Stop right here. Alright,”

Erwin turned the gearshift to neutral and turned his whole body towards Levi. The smile, really small one was resting as he eyed his small posture, angry brows and pouty lips.

“Annoying, coming whenever you want, doing whatever you want. I don’t even have your number,”

Erwin chuckled and shook head in small disbelief. “You are adorable,” He said reaching to back pocket of his trousers for his phone. “Here, add me your number,”

With saliva still unswallowed Levi typed his number and called it. He felt vibrations in his pocket and pressed red button. He handed Erwin the phone and their hands touched, it was natural yet something that Levi would probably remember.

“Cool. We are now like real friends,”

“Yeah, not really but I should go. Thanks for the ride,”

“No problem,” Erwin smiled warmly and Levi left the car like he didn’t really mean that. About to give simple wave and shut the doors Erwin caught him with words.

“Call me whenever you feel like,” He winked at him once again and Levi shut the doors, god. He was so annoying.

How hired killer could act so reckless? He thought going through the stairs at the second floor and knocked on the doors.

Eren stood in the doors, only in the loose sweatpants around his hips and hugged Levi later in the hallway. “You are late,”

“Yeah, the car crashed,”

“What?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t start it. Erwin said it’s something he would fix tomorrow,” Levi said taking off his clothes and followed Eren to the kitchen where the warm food was waiting for him and smelling like from the restaurant. His stomach growled angrily.

“Weird-, Wait, what Erwin was doing there? That creepy dude?”

Levi didn’t really know what to say. “I don’t know. He was just there,” He made some steps, got on tippy toes and kissed his boyfriend deeply. “I’m tired,”

“Yeah?” He asked in lips. Levi ate nothing today but apple and two cups of coffee but he tasted like strawberry candy and smelled like flowers. The pair of his lips were really soft and when Eren let go, he couldn’t help but to bite the taste that stayed on his lower lip.

“Mmm,” Levi mumbled and felt hand crawling down to his hip.

Dinner and more kisses later he was thrown onto the bed, lost his clothes that flew to the floor. His back pressed to the mattress and after some time in this position, he lifted himself.

“What’s wrong?” Eren asked with flushed face and sweaty forehead.

“Change position,” Levi mumbled, turning around on his knees and hands. He pushed the hips up and moved his ass in the air. “Like this,”

“Huh, you are needy today, baby?” He heard Levi gasping when he entered him with one move and went till his balls. “Deep enough?”

Levi sounded so sweet. If he was in the mood he would say a lot of things, he would moan a lot, whimper really highly. The pillow was brought to his head and the fluffiness made the sex only more comfortable in this position.

He gasped for air, it was harder to catch a breath as Eren began to thrust into him, quickly and with one pace. “Ah, yes, fuck,” Keeping hips up he leaned his chest against the mattress and closed his eyes.

Quickly after some thrusts the pain of stretching was gone and Levi could take even more than a thick cock now. His whole body melted into the mattress as the cock pounded without a mercy his prostate and his chest may be ripped in half. Eren was good, hitting just right place with steady thrusts, Levi felt nothing but fucking good.

He opened his eyes, right away feeling how heavy the eyelids were. Behind a small fog he saw the sheets wet in some places from his teeth. The body against body echoed in whole room and Levi felt his cock leaking and dirtying more of the sheets. “Fuck, fuck,” He gasped with teeth clenched.

“Feels good?”

His boyfriend asked with short breath, green eyes following muscled, sweaty back to the ass, watching how it makes his cock disappear.

“Yes,” He pressed hands onto the mattress and straightened arms and back. The deep thrust made it hard for Levi to stay longer like this. He felt to the sheets again, with cheek pressed against pillow and mouth wide open.

Eren grabbed Levi by his rounded hips, pushing fingers deep inside the soft skin just to fuck him faster and get even deeper.

His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he couldn’t open them no more. The muscles on his lower stomach were all tightened and cock pulsed like crazy with balls full of semen.

He reached with warm hand to the leaking erection and pumped it with the pace of cock hitting his insides. He twisted the wrist at his head, more and more, toes curling and open wide open. “Fuck, _Erwin_,”

Every time he looked back he saw Erwin. With his perfect blonde hair now in a big mess, covering half of his face and when he pushed it back, there was a flushed face with sweat dripping from nose to his fucking beautiful torso. Leaning down and thrusting more, angrily with that smirk on his face.

Levi came hard to the thought of him destroying him just with his cock. And maybe the biceps.

Later when Eren felt asleep and Levi just took a shower. In front of the mirror with his naked body. He held a phone with Erwin’s number. He added him to contacts list just with Erwin... Knowing only this.

In the early morning, he got a text from Erwin. Just from Erwin.

_pick you up? i could fix the car then:)_

Levi sighed and answered with simple ok. He felt even more embarrassed in the morning by the fact how he felt yesterday night. How he wished for Erwin to be the one fucking him, whispering dirty words straight to his ear...

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,”

“Haven’t sleep much?”

Levi blinked at Erwin and sighed. “Couldn’t sleep really.” He remembered the last night and suddenly felt too embarrassed to look at him. Looking down he saw white knuckles.

Erwin drove quietly, looking at Levi everytime he changed the gear. It wasn’t really like him to be so quiet but he didn’t press anymore with questions. “Could you write me to that big notes? I want to book a proper meeting,”

Levi looked at him finally. “For what?”

“Just need a talk,”

Levi blinked. Knowing Erwin for maybe month it’s seemed unfamiliar to see that death serious look on his faces. “Okay,” He nodded again, with soft voice. Hoping for a smile but he got none.

“I will take care of that car now,”

Erwin waited for Levi to get inside the clinic just to change two cables together and he was done. Smirk widened on his lips as he closed the mask and got inside his car. It went too smoothly. 


	3. sickness got over me doctor

"You're on time,"

Levi's voice sounded in a room. A psychiatrist like him would know everything just by the tone of it, he was nostalgic, hopeful, sadly pleased. 

The pair of grey eyes looked up and they shake so much to give every small detail a glance, the view was like always eye catching and he tried to adjust the brightness of blonde hair in that grey, dark room and clouds.

"Erwin," He sighed the name with a deep breath, standing from the leather chair with a creak and leaned both wrists on strong wood. "I forgot you can look that bad,"

The taller guest didn't move. He didn't speak, the doors shut quietly behind his wide shoulders and when Levi got closer the long coat fell from his shoulders heavily to the ground. His white shirt, that sometimes reminds Levi of snow, was now all dirty and crumbled. It smelled like the ground, forest and rain. 

His hair was wet but the water wasn't dripping from them. The longer side of blonde hair was covering half of his face and Levi decided to reach and hide them behind his ear, touching it with his knuckles, it was freezingly cold and red.

His lips were parted, nose reddish and eyes tired, missing that confident sparkle and ocean wave in blue colour. Looking like it could be the missing parts of the autumn, the rain, fallen leaves and the cold.

He looked down at his hand, held by smaller and warmer one. He was brought onto the sofa then sat down and felt blanket on his shoulders. 

Levi was good in hiding his feelings. Hiding now a surprise and worry deep inside him. He barely recognised Erwin in the doors. Even when Levi knew. He knew he would come. That he would pass the door frame in Friday, at hour close to five with face hard to forget. Just this one time, he would appear in the right time. Levi still had a problem with another surprise. How come he doesn't resemble the Erwin he knows? 

Levi knows? He doesn't know at all. The Erwin he remembers was the Erwin he has meet first. This one was different, Levi didn't know yet.

He was far away in his mind when he remembered about the water on. The click somehow sounded really loudly and his whole mind was brought to the place. Turning around a big, lifeless man was still on his couch.

"Where have you been? You smell like blood and shit," More like wood and rain. "Straight from work?" Levi asked quieter and nicer with a dark blue cup in his hands. It was really warm and the smell coming from it even sweeter, like fruits with blankets and honey.

"Could say it like that," Erwin sighed like he was really tired with the whole world and massaged the bridge of his nose. The hand dropped then to his tie and he loosened it even more, like it was still hard to catch a shallow breath. "The weather's awful,"

"Can't tell. I've been here for the whole day," Levi said as the steam warmed his face. He handed it to Erwin, following his mind and taking the place next to the man to sit down. 

The tea, despite not being asked for it, was well received. With long sips, lips licking and blinking from the warm steam. 

Levi watched closely his nose, his eyelashes and count maybe twenty of them. "You've been gone for a while,"

Erwin looked up, the first time in a while having good angle to look at his face. His thin brows were furrowed and lowered, he looked really worried and corners of Erwin's lips curled despite all the negative emotions he held in that large body. "Work,"

"What this time?" Levi asked simply. 

The cup hit the table and blanket has fallen from Erwin's shoulders. His sharp shoulders were now rounded, closed down and he knew he trusted Levi. So it was easy to speak about his days. "I had to move to the mountains for a while," 

It's seemed like Erwin remembered something, or maybe his body just reacted like that, like it was buried down in the snowy mountain. 

"A family in mountains. An errand from their daddy," His eyes shine like the snow on top of the mountain in sunny day, cold and bright. The words came out with ease. "At first I planned to make it like an accident, but there were too many people so- I killed the mother in sleep. Should I tell you more details, Levi? Doctor?"

Levi blinked and nodded in a shy way.

"I planned on choking her but I didn't want to wake up her children. Her skin, it seemed really old when I cut through it, pushing the knife deeply into her neck, she died just like that, gladly without any sound. Then I took the boys. They were maybe five years old? No. No. The one was seven, the other one was five. It was easy to carry them to my car," 

Levi curled fingers around his own shoulder. The reason behind it was Erwin's thick voice. He never really listened to voice, just to words. This time seemed different. He listened the voice, bouncing in his head, not leaving his ears. Staying there and sounding thicker and rougher. 

"-When the boys were dead I took their mother and I don't know why, Levi- I suddenly felt really angry? I don't think I was angry. I was more excited, maybe it was the adrenaline, with that feeling I broke all their limbs with the shovel," 

Levi listened with his face not changing. His grey, small eyes following blue ones, then moving lips. He felt his throat getting dry and knee touching Erwin's thigh. 

"And-, I'm this dirty cause I had to bury them. It was really tiring to bury three bodies, you know?" He turned his head, lowering it and staring at the reflection in his tea. "It was tiring,"

Levi ignored everything else. "Why were you angry?"

Erwin glanced at him again. "Don't remember. But I felt the adrenaline really high, like I really liked what I did. First time I felt something in a while,"

Levi stood and went to his table. Erwin couldn't see clearly what he was doing there.

"You mentioned before that you really feel nothing. How you called yourself," Levi searched something on the notes.

"Emotionless,"

"Emotionless," Levi repeated and found that word between thousands other. "Do you feel anything now?" Levi asked, somehow he sounded nervous. He glanced quickly at the window and the wave of darkness was coming.

Erwin didn't catch that. He put down the cup on the table and laid his long legs, with boots on the couch. Pressed arm to his forehead and let out a deep sigh. "That I'm tired?" 

Levi shook his head. He stood up and made some steps to the sofa, quiet as mice. "Emotion. Are you angry?"

Erwin glanced at him. Something falling from his chest when he saw Levi standing like that. In his grey sweater, slender body and pretty face. "No,"

"Sad?"

"No,"

"Happy?"

"No,"

Levi sighed, coming closer and leaned over the man lying there. He took away again the hair and put them behind his ear. Their eyes meet and small distance and hearts beat faster. "What about now?"

Erwin watched different parts of Levi's face, his pale skin that seemed really silk and warm, delicate features, the blue eyes were shaking and Levi noticed it with ease. "Don't know,"

He leaned even more, with a small grimace he looked down and his point finger made few circles on the button from Erwin's shirt. He could smell Levi's sweet aroma, tea but like the one without sugar and candles but the one with autumn's smells, like cinnamon with apples. Before he could ask another question Erwin spoke first, with hoarse voice.

"I don't want to go back to my apartment today." He said quietly.

"Why?" Levi asked simply. The finger that earlier played with the button was now on Erwin's shoulder, close to his jaw. 

"I feel..," He paused. "better here,"

"You feel," Levi noticed and if he had a pen with him here he would write that down. "What's the difference between here and your apartment?"

Erwin thought for a while and answered with a quiet voice. "You,"

Levi's hands were back by his sides, he looked around the office he knows better than anyone. He could finally hear the rain outside hitting his closed window and feel the tiredness sitting on his eyelids.

"Should I stay?"

He asked some time later, while facing the wall and when he turned to Erwin his eyes were closed. He wasn't sleeping deeply yet. When Levi shifted he opened the eyes, tore away from the light sleep. "I will stay," He said.

"Here?" 

Erwin suddenly lifted himself to sitting position. "I shouldn't ask you for that, Levi. You've been here for the whole day and-"

"It's fine," He said softly but Erwin didn't speak after that. "I just.. will call Eren," 

He took his phone and before he call Erwin spoke again.

"You will stay for the night?"

Levi turned around and holding the phone he nodded. "If you will feel better here. It's nothing much, huh?"

Erwin nodded this time and fixed the blonde hair. "Alright," He stood and with the blanket on his arms he made steps to Levi making him little confused. "Call Eren then,"

"Okay," After an odd glance, he pressed the green button and sat at the desk with a pair of blue eyes on him. "Oh, hey, baby,"

Erwin blinked.

"Yeah, I'm just calling to say that I won't be coming home today," He said simply, holding the phone with two hands and glanced up at Erwin. His eyes were like not his. Levi could feel weird wave of wind despite every doors and windows closed. 

"No, it's okay. I will just stay in the clinic, I have blanket here-, yes, yes. I'm really alright-, ugh Eren. Everything is really alright,"

Erwin looked behind his shoulder at the window, dark sky and rain. He heard Levi speaking and closed eyes again, just listening and breathing deeply.

"Alright. I love you too. Bye," He just pressed the red button and Erwin spoke up with a deep voice.

"How long are you together?"

Levi blinked, startled with the sudden question and straightforwardness. "A couple of months, why you asking?"

Erwin shrugged his shoulders as cold or rain rested there. 

Levi put his phone screen down the table. "Were you even once in love, emotionless murderer?" He said with corner lifted. "Do you even believe in love?"

Erwin blinked and his stare felt really intense with the rain behind his wide shoulders. It only lacked lightning. "I do," He spoke with one step and look around the office. "Can you tell me what's love, doctor?"

Levi chuckled. Watching Erwin's posture, wide shoulders, small waist and long legs he said. "You don't know?"

He turned around and rested lower back against the couch. "What's love for you?" He asked straight with a deep stare. "For me," He started and Levi was eager to listen more. "It's like kill for,"

"Your murdering side is showing,"

"Please, let me continue." Erwin cough. "Kill everything and every one your love told you to. Kill for them. Just live for them. Love is risk and sacrifice," 

Levi blinked and then laughed. "That's some harsh words for love, Erwin,"

Levi came closer to him and made the blonde look up. "Why make it so dramatic? It's just a feeling. You feel good with that person and want to be with them. That's all, it's easy,"

"Not that easy for me," He sighed and bounced his head aside. Glancing and eyeing Levi's whole short silhouette. 

"Why?"

"Not important right now,"

Levi sighed and made some more steps into Erwin's direction and a hand on his round hip. "You are really interesting person, Erwin." He blinked and with a sigh, it came out. "I'm glad I met you,"

"You are," Erwin began and the silence in the whole room was sometimes overwhelming. "The only one for me in this world," 

Levi felt warm under his ribs. "How's that possible? You really killed every other person that tried to keep up with you?"

Erwin half smiled and shook head. "Not really. I just always keep a distance, don't tell much about me and everything cuts off like that. But you were always so curious about me, helped me and always demanded answers," 

Erwin was closer and closer. His breath was deeper and knees lower. "And now, you are the one to stay with me," 

"Levi- oh, excuse me- I was just curious why are you still here," His secretary suddenly came in and with red face asked.

Levi coughed. "I'm staying here for the night. Don't worry about me. You can close the clinic."

"Oh-okay. Hello, and goodbye," She said to Erwin and then to Levi giving a small bow.

Just now Levi noticed a big distance between them and sighed. "You really open up at odd times."

Levi wandered around the office. It was nearly the nine in the evening and he thought about the time Erwin felt asleep.

"I guess you must be tired. If you are in the place you wanted to be, you may rest now," Levi followed him to the bed and sighed. "Would that help with you resting?" Levi waited two seconds with next words. "My presence?"

Erwin swallowed loudly the saliva, even the loud rain couldn't stop Levi from hearing it. "Yes," The blanket wrapped around his body and Levi leaned now to fix small pillow next to his ear. 

"Good," 

Small minutes later he could hear quiet snoring. He made few notes that took him more than an hour and at the end, Levi felt sentimental with the rain hitting constantly his window. Erwin was scared of loneliness. 

Levi woke up with pain in his back. Of course, he fell asleep on the desk. What was more worrying was Erwin waking him up, close to his face. 

"What's wrong?" Levi asked half asleep. The hand pressed to his forehead and concern written on Erwin's face was yet one to wake up Levi even quicker.

"I suddenly remembered something,"

"What is it, Erwin?"

"The headache," He started and looked like speaking was painful. "I often had these headaches, really painful. I just woke up from a weird nightmare... I hoped not to have them here and the headache suddenly came,"

Levi sighed. Still felt some sleep in his whole face and mouth but he stood up and took the glasses, notebook and with another sigh rested his hips against the wood. He pressed the glasses to his nose and fixed the black hair. "Lay down, please. We will have a quick session,"

"Why so suddenly?" Erwin asked but already in the way to the sofa. He laid down, long legs stretching on the pillows. Levi tapped the closed pen on the blank page, waiting for Erwin to get comfortable.

"When these headaches occur?"

Erwin swallowed the sour taste of his saliva and felt his forehead throbbing. Then the back of his head, it felt like a hundred needles pushed there. "I don't know.. They just happen and then I forgot about them,"

Levi noted something quickly.

"As your headaches came back.. did you also noticed something else? Like memory loss?" A pause. "Or maybe change in emotions? The anger? The adrenaline?"

"Levi," He sighed it, so low and helpless. Despite the strong focus Levi held, the pen still left his shaky fingers and hit the floor. "I really don't remember.. I just.. Woke up,"

"What was your nightmare about? Do you often have these?"

Two seconds. Fifteen seconds. One minute. Erwin didn't speak again and Levi just sighed. Put away the glasses with notebook and places hands on each of his thigh. "Come here, please,"

The blonde followed, standing in front of his doctor in a rather miserable way. Like a lost little child, despite being almost six and a half feet tall and shoulders wider than the sky.

"Where exactly does it hurt?" Levi asked after a pause he gave himself to stare at the man.

The hand moved away blonde hair and Erwin touched his own forehead. "Here and in the back," He massaged the places and hairy brows were furrowed.

Levi's teeth sank in his lower lip as his own five fingers went through blonde hair and touched the back of Erwin's head. "Right here?"

The blonde nodded, with eyes blank and lips in a rather small grimace. He then sat next to Levi, close enough to see his short legs next to his.

"Is it something serious, doctor?"

"I don't know a lot yet," Levi said simply, staring down at his black boots being dirty at the beginning. "Firstly I would write you a referral for medical examination to see if your headaches are coming from the physical side. Then we will move one with..this,"

His voice shook at the end like from cold. It felt like the time has stopped for Levi. Or maybe everything just moved in slowed motion. His breath, the beating of his heart, even swallowing the saliva was longer and more intense. 

Staring blankly at the room he couldn't see anything, he was so deep in his mind, thinking only _what is he doing._

Erwin's pinky was moving, closer and closer on the wood until it wrapped itself around Levi's pinky. His breath shake and two more fingers have found their way between Levi's smaller hand. 

_What is he doing_. Levi asked himself again, staying still. Would pretending nothing is happening will be fine? 

The thought of pulling the hand away from Erwin hasn't crossed his mind not even once. Four fingers now been closed around his four smaller ones, Levi felt how they are tightening and he took another shaky breath to his tight chest.

Someone knocked softly on the wooden doors and then pulled the round handle, it was Eren. By the time Levi found Erwin nowhere close. He was on the couch with an expression like nothing happened. 

"Hey-, you two," Eren said lightly, plastic bag in his hand and scarf hanging to his knees with open black coat and dark green under it. 

"Hey. You." Levi said, sounding really like him. The hand only trembled behind his back and he gulped the stomach back to its place when Eren kissed him on the cheek. "You really didn't have to," He said about the bag with food.

"I can't let you starve. You already eat small," Eren shook hands with Erwin and Levi's eyes burned a hole in that handshake. Scared that Eren might feel something? Could it be possible to know Levi's smell so much he could feel it on another man?

"Aren't you tired?" He asked Levi with a soft voice. His hand travelled from his hip to shoulder and then made few big circles on his back. 

"A little bit. I fell asleep on the desk," He admitted with embarrassment. A hand suddenly rubbed sore place on his neck. "Ah, yes. Here,"

They shared a smile. Suddenly Eren remembered that they are not alone and with hands wrapped around Levi's small waist he gave a sharp gaze to Erwin. 

"Do you need drive too?"

The blonde just smiled. His eyes quickly shifted to Levi and shook head with blonde hair not moving. "Thank you but no. I have things to do," He gripped his teeth at the end and left with doors shutting loudly. 

The silence felt and in Levi's head, the doors were still shutting with echo. 

"There's definitely something weird about him. Why do you keep contact with him?"

Levi rubbed his own shoulder and felt colder. "He needs help,"

"Isn't it weird that the guy you meet by accident suddenly needs help from a psychiatrist?" Eren's thick brows furrowed. "It all seems.. suspicious," 

"No," Levi said and it came out way too harsh. "He just didn't know that.. he's sick,"

"I don't know. I don't like him," 

Levi just blinked at him and hands feel from his body, making big distance with just one step aside. 

"Do you know where he's from? How old is he? Or even his second name? Or just his name and that he was suspiciously beaten up?"

"Eren," Levi sighed, tired suddenly of the talk. "Shut up. You know nothing," 

"For example?"

Levi hesitated for a while. "Can't tell," 

Eren chuckled in dry way. "You can't tell me?" There was a big tone and pressing on the last word and Levi knew what it meant. 

It made Levi look up at him and he couldn't stop how soft his gaze seemed when he said. "No."

And they didn't speak in the car and Levi was sleeping in his own flat today without dinner. 

Was there really a reason for Erwin not being in his apartment? Well. There are a few stories that make him have nightmares with the doors from his wardrobe open and the body of his mother crawling from it but this time it was different.

When he came back here, he wasn't alone. To be more precisely he had a guest tied to his bed. 

Erwin was home, but he came to that room some hours later. With different clothes on, pair of black gloves on his large hands and a sharp knife in hand. A smirk was pressed on his lips, forced one.

"Sorry for the waiting," 

He said warmly, his steps were firm and the floor creaked with every next one louder. 

Man tied to the bed was scared. Well, who wouldn't? He also had brown hair, nice, big green eyes and honey colour skin. 

A sparkle lit in Erwin's eyes when he faced the green eyes. "I hope you liked here," He made steps closer, right in front of the stranger, kneeling with open legs and the trousers felt tight. "Eren,"

The fabric left his mouth and all he could say was. "What?"

The knife shone beautifully. It could be used as a mirror. That's what Erwin did. He watched himself there, smirk left his face only for the minute when he turned the sharp side to man's throat and slowly moved it lower. "He will belong only to me now," 

His own words now sounded in his head. Loving is to kill. 

"You don't have to worry. I will take good care of him," He pushed the knife deep inside his chest with teeth tightening. 

Suddenly he took the knife out and a streak of blood dirtied his black shirt. The head with blonde hair fell down and he sighed. Ah. It wasn't him again.


	4. winter brings the changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: cheating content

Even with first snow this year Levi hoped for more rain and for the autumn not to end. And as he thought, the winter brought many changes. Not only in things like changing shoes to less slippery or jacket to the one with thicker fabric, the one you can't really control. Like the weather, you can't control when will it change, when it will rain and when the sun will shine. It's like feelings. You can't control them when they come, you can't deny them even if you try.

In a quick way to say, winter and feelings are shitty. It comes too quickly. Levi wasn't ready for any of it, not for the snow on his hair and not for the feelings for another person.

The autumn passed like a snap with fingers but it brought many things. It brought Erwin. It brought happiness. It brought sadness and anxiety. It brought so many emotions, sentimentality. Many emotions Levi was good to name in patients but was hopeless for his own person, kept getting confused with all of them. With all this waiting for more.

Days pass quickly when you wait.

And Levi hates waiting.

Is this all about what Levi hates? If that's so. Levi would make a list, he loves to make lists and have everything wrote down next to columnes of numbers.

One, he hates winter. Hates snow. Hates cold. He hates when the soles of his shoes are slippery, when the watch next to his bed stops, hates his bed hair, hates cold tea, hates missed calls and hates waiting.

He quickly got used to Erwin disappearing for times, ignoring Levi's calls, even when the number of them was low, and coming back and then leaving Levi with a different new expression.

It's like the snow, it comes when no one expects it. And Levi is that one kid, wrapped in   
thick jacket, with scarf around his neck, pair of gloves and cap waiting for the first snowflake. Just for it to melt on his hand.

How come, Levi made Erwin seem like a season again. He was rain, he was wind, he was autumn. Now he's winter, snow. Who's Levi then?

"And who am I?" The heavy, silver pen fell down between two pages of the notebook. A wrist that held Levi's whole head started to hurt and he let it down, same with head. Black hair buried down in the white pillow. 

"You said something?" Eren asked from across the long couch. The tv was playing quietly in the whole room yet Levi's whole focus was on the black notebook in front of him. He liked to write, no matter if it was a report, grocery list or note from his day. He would write everything down. Like names, dates, the dates the name disappeared and came back.

"Not really," He closed it and straightened his spine with quiet crack. "I think I will have a nap,"

Eren also lifted himself, reaching for Levi's hand and rubbing his pink knuckles with a thumb. His skin was warm always. "You alright?"

Levi nodded. "I'm alright,"

"Then why this moody face?" He leaned and kissed Levi's lips with a small sound. Indeed. There was something moody in Levi's face today.

His lips constantly puckered in natural frown, brows lower than ever and eyes somewhere far away making him seem down.

"Just," Levi shrugged shoulders already on the ground, with his notebook, phone and slippers on feet, going to the bedroom with sound of slippers against the wood.

It was dark in the whole bedroom. It was also a weekend so Levi could let himself have a nap without setting alarm on, he would probably wake up in the middle of the night for a shower.

The warm blanket has been wrapped around his shoulders and his head hit the pillow. Eyes with light eyelids closed, his chest moved slowly and he quieted his mind until he felt vibrations on the desk.

It could be nothing that matters but the vibration went again as the remainder of message and Levi reached for it. His eyes shine and the sudden energy flew through his blood. Like he just had the nap.

He clicked the message.

_the hitman is thinking about his doctor_

Levi's heart stopped, it flew up to his throat just to swallow it and fall down heavily to his chest. Starting to beat faster than ever. 

_is something worse with you? should i write you medicine?_

Levi waited no less than twenty seconds for another message from Erwin. The lower lip was already between his teeth, chewing on it lightly. The message came really quickly and his mind began to wander. Erwin, in his bed. Maybe shirtless as the heating in his rich ass flat was on. Maybe after the shower, with his blonde hair wetting the pillow. Maybe he smelled like the ocean or the shower gel that had no specific smell but smelled really manly.

_maybe when i come back_

That is it. Levi thought. The last time he has seen Erwin was.. he didn't really know when it was. Two weeks ago? The simple curiosity was in him to know what a person like Erwin could be busy with this time.

_where are u again?_

_far from here. i couldn't sleep so i texted you_

He read the message three times before typing on the screen.

_so you decided to interrupt my sleep also?_

_did i interrupt you?_

He typed quick _yes _but the same quickly he deleted it and fixed with simple _not really_. Then he added, just from curiosity. _what were you thinking about?_

_just you in particular_

Levi didn't know what to write back. Thanks to gods Erwin decided to write quickly the second message. _can i call?_

Levi thought about Eren next room and how he told him about going to sleep but wrote quick _yeah_.

The name Erwin took half space of his phone. Under it, two buttons, red and green one and Levi's heart bumped quickly when he pressed the green button.

"Hello?" Erwin asked when the signal stopped in his phone.

"What do you want bastard?"

Levi could tell Erwin is smiling. He smiled, shifted on bed and eyes fixed only on the window where he saw the moon in its beautiful full form. "I needed to run away," He began as simply as he could and Levi loved his voice, simple as it was. The phone was brought closer to his ear, and somehow it felt like Erwin was here. "I think I would move out of my apartment and then from the city,"

"Wait.. why? What?"

Erwin smiled again, didn't know why. The smile just rested even as with twenty kilometres away from Levi, he saw his small frown and the brows furrowed. "One time I would tell you, okay? I just wanted to let you know,"

"So.. we won't see each other?" Levi asked and sounded as hopeless as he didn't want to sound.

"We will. I still have some work to do there..,"

"Okay," Levi just sighed. Not really satisfied with the answer. He felt like his whole excitement over small talk at night with Erwin just left him, leaving a small, growing sadness at the centre of his chest.

Erwin shifted again on the bed and said. "I don't want to leave without you,"

"What do you mean?"

"Remember what I said about taking the risk? This is what I meant, Levi. I want you to go with me."

Levi suddenly chuckled, like for a second he thought really about doing this but then hundreds of reasons fall down on him to make him understand he wouldn't be able to. "You are crazy, Erwin,"

"You," The blonde sighed, maybe from tiredness. "Come with me." It sounded more like a statement. Like he decided over Levi.

The black hair was spread on the pillow and the blanket was brought to Levi's mouth. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and still thought. _If I could just.._ "What about the clinic? About Eren?"

"That's what I mean Levi. Risk. Would you be able to leave it all and move on with me?"

"Okay. Let's move this conversation to another occasion, okay? It's not a talk for the phone,"

Levi shifted. Erwin also.

"When will I see you?" Levi asked simply then, softer than he ever could. Wishing for Erwin to said now, or tomorrow, or on Friday.

"Soon,"

Levi rolled to the other side. The blanket was tucked in between his thighs and he squeezed it with a force and small thrust. "How are you feeling?"

"Levi," Erwin sighed suddenly. "I have been feeling weird lately,"

"Meaning?"

"Are we having another doctor-killer talk?" He asked lightly, but the heaviness was still in his chest and the last letters in his words. He turned eyes from the moon and it twinkled in his room like it wanted the attention.

"No. It's Levi-Erwin now,"

"Is that so," He sounded like smiling, like relief, no matter what the answer was really. "You think why I keep disappearing for some time?"

"Work?"

"Yeah," He nodded with a head too. "It's hard sometimes. I mean I'm used to all this but everyone had their ups and downs, am I right? Doctor? Levi?"

"Indeed," Levi said simply.

"So. Lately, I found something that makes me feel different. I don't think I have felt that,"

"Like what?"

"Easier,"

The silence fell between them. Levi searched for a good position but none of it was so he sat up. "What is that? That gives you this feeling?" He asked, hoping for one answer.

Erwin ignored the question and continued. "I kill. Murder and then feel nothing. It's not sadness or any sorrow, just somehow empty. I realised that I don't have feelings," He said, some of it Levi has already known, when Erwin opened up at their talk in his office. He did that three times now, Levi was proud of the progress and the trust he received.

"Wow, look at you. Opening and shit. You are finally talking,"

Erwin laughed short and somehow sad. "Listen more, doctor. I said I don't have feelings but lately, I felt something. Felt something easy and pleasing for my chest when, when I'm with that person,"

"Erwin,"

"With you," It felt like a stone thrown into the water. "I feel calmer with you, I feel almost like I'm alright. Like everything is alright with me,"

"Are you sure? We have seen each other only several times and-"

"And every time was so fucking good-. Levi, since the beginning something wasn't alright. How I met you," He sighed. "I believe it might be some kind of fate shit,"

Levi felt silent on the other side. With spine not straight and hand pressed to his red cheek, he didn't know what to tell. What kind of doctor he even was?

"I don't know what to tell you. I'm not home- you know,"

Oh. Erwin chuckled. "I forgot."

"Yeah, genius," He then sighed, could almost forget what Erwin has just said but his words sounded a little affected by him, more confident. "Let me see you this week.. can you come?"

"I can. I will." He said warmly, like a blanket. Quietly like fire and so softly like the touch he probably has. "I miss you, Levi,"

_I miss you_. He repeated it in his head and felt the same. Just now, eleven in the night he realised how much his heart ached on the thought of being even minute less without Erwin. How empty he felt until now, until the call. With mind always behind a fog, deep in clouds, thinking about blue eyes.

"I too," He said quickly.

"You do?"

Levi nodded and Erwin could never see it.

"I..apologise for what I did earlier. In the morning in your office."

"It's okay." Levi right now just remembered what he meant. The touch of his hand was in his dreams for two days and then he just somehow forgot.

"If you were here.. I would probably do it again. Hold your hand,"

Levi squeezed his eyes, knuckles and hand too. "Yeah?"

"Mmh," Erwin also nodded and seemed little too far in his imagination. "Would you let me hold you close?"

"How close?"

"So I could see your eyes. Touch your face, feel your breath.."

"Erwin," Levi gasped and his head hit the pillows. Felt like his head sank in the fluffiness.

"Yes. I wanted to hear it just like that."

"What is happening with you? You really feel this way?"

This way.

"Tell me how are you feeling. What would you do? Would you run away? Or would you let me touch you?"

Levi's eyes were shut again. Toes curling and feeling something intense. _Just say it._ The voice spoke like from the automat then. "I would.. let you,"

"You would? So you really want it?"

"I really can't say it here, Erwin... please,"

"Just one more word, please. Would you let me kiss you?"

Levi thought he heard Eren. He quickly hid himself with a blanket and before pressing the red button he whispered soft_ Ye_s.

Hiding like that he eventually fell asleep with many beautiful dreams. It felt like he slept more than he needed, more than the night could let him. But when he woke up it was dark, it was just two in the morning.

There was one missing call from Erwin fifteen minutes ago.

In the middle of cold bathroom, with not the best mirror reflection Levi called back, as fast as he took the breath.

"Come outside. I will pick you up,"

"What?" The sleep was still hearable in that. "I'm in my pyjama idiot. Go to sleep or kill someone,"

"You wanted to see me."

Levi gulped sour saliva, looked at his bare feet on the small carpet and kept thinking. Then he just cut that and sighed. "I hope you are already in here,"

Levi went down. After he quickly changed and he still was cold. To not stand in minus temperature he went inside the car, where the warmth hit him just like he hit the doors shut. "I just came here to say I'm not going anywhere,"

Erwin half smiled. Beautifully looking. Like the night, covered in black clothes but with light like stars eyes. Was it still a dream? Levi thought after a blink and he may look even more attractive.

Point finger pressed lock button on the wheel and four doors were closed. "I'm kidnapping you," He said simply, changed the gear and car began to move on the street covered with snow. "Close your seatbelts, please,"

"Where the fuck are you taking me?" He said with the click of seatbelts on, Erwin seemed relieved after that. His hand relaxed on the heated wheel and glanced at Levi with a sly smile, not saying anything.

It's two in the morning. The heated seat made Levi's butt feel like he pissed his pants, the heat kept blowing on his face and hair and the heat from his own body sat at the tips of his ears.

"I'm glad you called back. I kept thinking about you," He said simply and despite Levi's stomach making some weird moves that didn't resemble butterflies at all he said harshly.

"I really regret calling you."

Erwin smiled, his eyes were somehow tired, he didn't answer. He shifted at another gear and drove faster than the speed limit showed through empty streets.

"If you really plan on kidnapping me you should try harder. I have phone right here and know your plates number,"

The blonde smirked looking like he's not listening.

"What's so funny?"

"We are here," He pulled the hand brake and left the car.

"What the fuck is it?" Levi said as he got out from the car and almost slipped on the thin icy snow. Erwin grabbed him by the elbow and leaned to say.

"My house,"

"Oh,"

_Oh_. It was fucking big. Filthy rich and really empty. Almost like no one lives in here. The amount of furniture was really small, the same with decorations. "It's huge," He muttered under the nose, going from room to another room and then to another. And then to second big ass fucking bathroom with just one huge tube in the middle.

He turned around to Erwin who was following him quietly like a ghost, now leaning agains the door frame. His face somehow inert, something keeping his head worry. "What do you think?"

"You are filthy rich,"

Erwin chuckled dry. His face from the small laugh got back to the serious expression. The flat was really quiet, dark and the only light was the moon that followed Erwin from the twenty kilometres just to show up again in the window.

"Would the money help me get out of this illness?"

"Illness?" Levi blinked, Erwin sounded like he was disgusted by his own person. The smaller one man made a step into the darkness where the moon lighted up Erwin's face. "You are fine, Erwin,"

"Am I?" He asked, really, really hoping for the right answer.

Levi made another step. Shortly glanced at his lips, turning into a horseshoe and then looked up, at beautiful eyes. "Just take the medicine,"

"Medicine?" He asked with his neck lowering, lips parted and warm, shaky breath leaving it quicker than ever. "Just medicine will help me?"

"The medicine and me."

"The medicine and you?"

Levi nodded and despite his heart leaving his chest and then beating on the floor, he leaned towards Erwin like a magnet towards the fridge, with cheeks warmer than sun.

"It's enough," Levi even shook his head with black bangs, just so Erwin could believe him. "You are fine," He whispered it like a secret and Erwin took it, not telling anyone.

"Is it right if I take it now? The medicine. And You," He waited for the answer. For the allowance, he's good, patient, behaving. His thumb making it's promise, that he will touch Levi. It rubs his cheek, really, really warm one. Then across the jawline, feeling soft, so soft like heaven. With Levi's small nose inches from his, pink lips parted and he's only one word away from tasting them. His breath is warm and smells sweet. "You are my only medicine," He added before taking his breath away with deep kiss and eyes shut.

He tasted sweet. So sweet Erwin couldn't believe he was kissing a man, a person. They were slippery, soft and he caught them again, kissing deeper with tongue pushing inside harshly. Despite it being their first kiss, they connected so well. Erwin pushed the tongue deeper in Levi's mouth, licking his insides and making Levi hold onto him to keep balance.

_This is so bad_. He thought with hands gripping at wide shoulders, then falling down and ripping the coat from Erwin's shoulders. It hit heavily the floor and ten fingers of Levi really firmly locked around Erwin's strong biceps. They felt so good Levi felt his lower stomach melting, toes curling in black shoes and wings growing in his back. _So bad_. Levi thought again. Then his mind somehow shifted to the thought of touching Erwin's neck. He did it, standing on tippy toes, fingers brushing blonde hair and feeling their softness. He thought about how hard it is to actually kiss with that height difference, how annoying is Erwin's nose when he cares more about hungry kissing that better position, how thick is his tongue and how it makes Levi's mouth feel full and jawline hurt a little. He has a lot of time to think about all those things.

Erwin's knees were bent and Levi still stood on the tippy toes with his whole weight still on Erwin. Holding him and pulling lower by the neck, Levi kissed the mouth he wished for so long. It was all like he expected it to be. Erwin was really needy and eager to kiss and to touch. Levi could feel the hands gripping him at different parts of the body with different angles.

They part in two just for a short while. To catch a breath, catch fresh air in their minds to understand what really was happening.

Levi looked around the empty apartment and his cock twitched when he saw the forearm full of thick veins bringing him even closer. His cologne hitting his nostrils, their forehead bumped together and Erwin's neck began to be sore a little.

"Fuck," Was all he could really said. Levi felt the same. Especially when two, large hands reached for his butt. Squeezing harshly like just a piece of fresh meat, then going lower to feel his thighs and finally pulling him up.

His back hit the fluffy mattress then big body covered him wholly and hands rested on both sides of his head.

His hands owned Erwin's face, and they seemed really small there. The cheeks were rough, with two days facial hair and he quickly examined if there was anything odd in his face. The brows were relaxed, lips puckered and looking so innocent Levi couldn't help but to give him a session of plenty small kisses.

"How is it?" Levi asked, somehow shyly, after getting the intense gaze from Erwin.

"Everything.." He sighed like the view under him has taken his breath away. "Is better than it should be," Their lips connected shortly and after that Erwin couldn't look away from Levi's lips, chin, the neck now little more exposed. "You are breathtaking," He gasped and a new wave of excitement and adrenaline hit them as the long session of kissing and bodies trying to be as close as possible began.

Levi's fingers curled around Erwin's neck, feeling his hair and fresh undercut. Then the fingers crawled down his wide back, feeling it's hardness and ended at his ass. It felt like it's lacking a space in Erwin's trousers. It was hard to squeeze it, by how tight the fabric was so Levi pushed a hand into the back pocket and rubbed five fingers against the cheek.

In the answer, Erwin's mouth, wide open sucked onto his ear then little lower to the neck. "Ah," Levi gasped. "Not there," The voice broke down in a quiet moan as Erwin sucked the skin making Levi's whole body tremble from the goosebumps. "Eren will see," He gasped with thighs squeezing around Erwin and hips lifting.

"Don't show him," Erwin said simply, with face flushed after inhaling the nice scent of Levi's body. The button popped from Levi's shirt and Erwin's face immediately dived into the place. Kissing the skin, feeling it's warmth and body lotion.

Shaky fingers opened more of the shirt and the lips didn't miss any spot. Kissing, sucking, biting and worshipping the milky skin like a maniac.

"Erwin," Levi begged. "Touch me. Please,"

He couldn't bear the tightness in his own black pants. It really hurt, damn hurt at how hard he was.

"Where?" The blonde asked stupidly, with hands all over Levi, always. They were always there. On the back of his neck, on his ass, on his waist, hips, neck. There could be thousands of fingertips now on Levi's body.

He brought Erwin closer by the legs wrapped around his waist. "Fuck, touch my cock,"

He did that right away. Feeling how warm it was. "Fuck," Erwin gasped, finally looking at Levi's face and his flushed expression. The same was with him, in months he didn't feel this horny and excited, like a teenager with them first sex.

His open palm rubbed Levi's cock, his hips were constantly pushing onto the touch, _so desperate_, Erwin thought. "I wanna fuck you so much,"

"Fuck," Levi was totally not prepared for this. Maybe for a kiss, a touch but really not sex in this short night.

"You want it?" He asked out of breath with his cock shamelessly throbbing against Levi's thigh. His gaze was blurry and he nodded the head quickly with bangs bouncing.

It quickly got out of control. Levi just got his trousers and underwear to half thigh and Erwin was already behind him, with dry fingers he touched the cock and they were already wet. Straight into Levi's already loosened hole, one, then quickly second and he was stretched.

"Fuck, it hurts," Levi squeezed his eyes and felt strong body behind him when he leaned it. He felt the smell of Erwin, fresh air, water and man.

"I-," Sounded like he wanted to apologise. The tip of cock was already in Levi. Throbbing and leaking inside. "Want you so much." The words were said straight into Levi's ear. There was no space that could go between their bodies. two bodies, half-clothed, fully sweated. The nose tickled Levi's temple and tongue touched ear. "I'm sorry I can't help myself," He gasped before slamming hard inside him and Levi's body falling to the mattress. He looked through his shoulder to Erwin with his shirt wide open, stomach like fucking greek good and blonde pubic hair tickling Levis ass.

He couldnt remember really the pain with the cloudy mind. He looked up at Erwin's face, the beautiful features and he could forgive him for any pain now.

"It's so tight," His heavy hands with ease pressed Levi down to the mattress. "I can barely move in you," He commented again so eager to move but the hole wrapped really tightly around his cock. He moved back then thrusted in. Made it ten times until he had the ease and pounded Levi finally how he wanted.

Levi had really no time to complain at how big sizes he was. He was used to something different, knew Eren size and how he never made it hurt with the lube and stretching. But now, it never felt like that. He couldn't speak with the mouth wide open and every thrust taking words out of his mind into senseless moans. Like he couldn't control when the _fuck _would leave his mouth or long groan when the cock went really too deep.

"Levi," Erwin sighed, with hands now free, just his hips bouncing from Levi's ass and hitting again. The arousal spread in his whole stomach and cock. "Say something. Tell me how you feel. You feel good?"

Levi still couldn't speak. Not when Erwin never stopped moving, hitting the sweet spots inside him with bigger and bigger force and eagerness. He was so rough in actions but the words opposite, caring and worrying.

"Levi,"

"Mghhh,"

He finally slowed down, opening Levi's knees aside and slowly falling his own weight to his back. His ear glued to his ear, through his back he could feel how quickly his heart beats. Before he could ask another question Levi said, with a voice hoarse, shaky and not like him.

"Move, please, move, Erwin,"

The blonde moved his hips only. Rubbing his stomach against Levi's back, it was impossible to be any closer. To be any deeper. "Is it good?"

Levi moved his head aside to catch Erwins lips and kiss it slowly then spoke up. "Good. So fucking good," He said quickly just to have more time to whine from the deepness and when he began to move roughly again Levi couldn't last any longer.  
  


"Let's take a shower," Erwin said some minutes later when he finished. His orgasm was good and long, his semen thick and everything landed on Levi's flat stomach.

When he stood his legs felt like jelly, shaking when he walked. Somehow his mind felt foggy again on the thought of shower with Erwin. It sounded so simply from his lips but it shouldn't be like that. Levi just kept having second thoughts. His shirt left his shoulders and standing now fully naked, Erwin wasn't hiding with his gaze that could eat Levi whole and raw.

"You will join me just like that?" He asked getting inside and watching Erwin taking off his shirt also. His body was really beautiful. Well built with no fat at all, muscled stomach to chiselled v line and pair of huge thighs.

"I will," He said softly and went inside making Levi go under the wall. His back hit it and it was awfully cold.

"Why are you running away? You don't want me anymore?"

Levi gasped and his chest ached. No matter how hard he tried, how long he thought about himself being in long relationship, he couldn't deny that he wanted Erwin more than anything. His eyes to look only at him, his hands to be only around him, lips to speak-, to kiss only him.

"Are you thinking about Eren right now?"

Levi couldn't help but to say out loud. "What if he finds out?" He wasn't the best liar after all. It rarely happened for him to lie.

Erwin made another step, pressing Levi more to the wall and hovering over him. The water hit Erwin's wide back and fell down like a rain. "He won't,"

"How are you so sure?"

His fingers curled around Levi's chin and brought him close to a small kiss. It was like a promise. Or just a kiss that seemed like the one between him and Eren, when they kiss when they haven't seen each other for long, or when they kiss when one of them is down. Levi opened his eyes and Erwin was still there, he tried, just tried, to make that kiss feel like that again and it worked. Erwin followed his intentions, giving him a slow kiss, full of promises, warmth and care again. And maybe it helped Levi, to think he would now live like that. Loving two men. Wanting two men. Cheating and living a life like a liar.

"You believe me?" Erwin asked quietly, top of his hand was caressing Levi's rose cheek. He was naturally beautiful, even this worried and flushed.

Levi simply nodded and the next kiss, began by him made his heart race again. "I believe in you," 

Levi believed him, trusted, like he did in the beginning. What consequences will it give? No one could know that, not even him. "But can you.. just leave me here alone?"

Erwin smiled really small but it was still visible. "Okay,"

Levi left the bathroom many minutes later. It was some time past four in the morning and he had only towel wrapped around him in that winter night.

Erwin was already dressed, showered in different bathroom, looking as perfect as he always does. Levi thought if it would be natural to just come and kiss him. Instead, he stayed in the doors, cold crawling to his feet and his voice small.

"Will you take me home now?"

"It would be stupid to ask if you want to stay," Erwin made few steps closer to Levi. He used his shampoo.

"I can't-" The lips stopped him from any more explanation. _Uh_. He felt that deep inside, that heavy feeling sitting on his chest again as he took the kiss back and the towel hit the floor.

_Erwin kissed so well_. Levi thought tippy toeing but then not feeling the floor at all. He was lifted by Erwin once more, then sat down at the high table where his feet couldn't reach the floor.

"Do you ever get tired?" Levi asked out of breath as the heavy hand touched his lower back. He felt no shame, sitting like that, fully exposed in the night slowly ending.

"Of you? Probably never," In return Levi played with his tie, opening it and it fell to his thighs. The fabric made him react like a snow, his whole body shiver. Erwin noticed that, taking the tie and simply putting it on Levi's neck.

"You," Erwin continued, words heavy and when he moved, Levi's knee was straight into his groin, he was hard again. "Always made me feel so good,"

Levi made a small circle with his knee while Erwin tied the tie and with it's end he tickled Levi's pink nipple. "Erwin, I just washed you off me,"

"Huh, you tried to wash me away?"

"Yeah, but it was fucking impossible. Your perfumes are too heavy. I feel it even now,"

"I'm glad,"

Levi came back home near seven in the morning with Eren still sleeping on the couch. He came back to the bedroom, really tired. It was crazy. How it all happened in one night. In one really cold night he cheated on his boyfriend and not regretted it even once, it was Erwin.

Just by the name Levi feels thousands of shivers, feels like he has fever and the world spins in his mind and in his stomach.

When he laid down in his own bed all he could feel was his fingers, the weight of his body still on him. He straightened the collar of his shirt and inhaling it deeply he felt only _Erwin_. His stomach felt the excitement again. He felt like falling in love again when he never felt out of it.

Crazy, isn't it?

He smiled under the nose and shifting he saw doors opening and Eren in them, not looking like he just has woken up.

"Where have you been?"


	5. jealousy and addiction, two diesases

"_Oh_," Levi felt the cold sweat on his whole back like under the freezing shower. Felt also like the kid caught on doing something prohibited. "I couldn't sleep so I went to the clinic and.. and then for a walk," He swallowed his saliva, thicker than always. Odd silence in Eren's bedroom made it clear to hear.

"And why would Erwin drive you home?"

"_Oh_," Another surprise painted on Levi's face. He tried to hide the uneasiness with shifting on the bed and some fake yawning. "He was the reason I got to the clinic.." Levi blinked, deep inside surprised by how easily the lies were leaving his mouth. "It was about that referral to the hospital.."

Eren sighed, tired, annoyed by the whole situation. "You could wake me up and we could go together,"

"It's fine. He needed it really that's why.. He woke me up." Levi sighed and lifted the quilt, with easy stare from his grey eyes he tried to move that topic aside. "Are you getting in finally?"

Eren didn't seem like he noticed Levi lying. He got into the bed still with a grimace and bad mood radiating from his slender body. Levi felt that without asking, his shoulders tensed and he barely spoke and those deep sighs, how he made them heavier for Levi to know how disappointed he is at him. It worked, Levi felt bad, really awfully bad about himself, about the lies, about everything that happened just an hour ago. Or maybe just about being caught. He slowly wrapped his fingers around wide waist and he hugged Eren tightly, trying to make the anger go away. He squeezed his eyes, deep hoping that Eren won't feel the strong smell of Erwin flying around Levi like a cloud with rain, it was so strong Levi felt like under his control.

"This Erwin.." Eren sighed deeply, back pushed to Levi's chest. "I don't really like him. Is it possible for you to not see him so often?"

Levi blinked into space and then nodded quickly, to seem like he really doesn't care about him. "Yeah. We just meet because of his treatment," His fingers curled on Eren's wrist and then caught his hand finally. "You don't have to worry about him, kay? I know I should stay away from him. As you said, he's suspicious,"

Eren nodded and his longer fingers squeezed around the smaller ones, Levi's ones. "I'm glad you understand my concern. Let's sleep for some more hours, okay?" He said while facing a wall and feeling breath on the neck.

"Sure," Levi said quietly and didn't fell asleep, not even for a minute. 

  
  


The whole Sunday he spent only and only with Eren. Just to make sure everything is fine between them.

Now it kinda sounded hilarious, Levi always spends time with Eren, he is his boyfriend and since they got together there was barely a day without seeing each other. He was doing this because he loved him, loved every minute together, with words, without words, just together. 

Now he felt like doing it just of the situation. They are still together, but his body wishes to be somewhere else. Touched by a different pair of hands, hearing voice two tones lower. His mind is absent again, even kissing the lips, he wishes for other pair, a thicker one, with different taste. Eren tastes like black tea without sugar while Erwin.. Erwin tasted like mint and freshly washed teeth.   
  


"You will be late," Levi said already in Eren's car. He insisted on driving Levi to the clinic despite might getting late to his own work by that, he needed a car and the only thing he said earlier was.

"I want Erwin to stop driving you to work and from work. I will do that from now on,"

And by that Levi was thirty minutes earlier in his clinic. It was nothing, he had a small chit chat with the receptionist, made himself a cup of warm coffee and made some cleaning in all the papers. Always amazed how the shelves didn't break from its weight. 

Somehow, Levi still found himself in Erwin's car. Just a few days later, maybe because he's sleeping at his tonight or he just couldn't say no to the blonde.

"Yeah, so Eren is jealous that you keep driving me from work and he told me to told you to stop doing it," Levi said through the opened window, elbows resting on the car and hands freely hanging inside of it. 

On the other side, by the wheel was Erwin, already smiling with white teeth and giving a small glance at those fingers with pink knuckles and short nails.

He turned the head aside and with single glance asked. "So you are not getting inside?"

"Of course I am," Levi said half amused but with grimace on the face when his boot hit the puddle from melted snow. "I'm not going on foot on this shitty weather," He added with a belt around his neck and the car started with the screech of tires.

Three streets later, on the red light and just one leg busy Erwin turned head aside. Jawline shaped sharply as always, blonde hair in the same place, shining like from a fairytale. Glancing now at Levi with something intense besides the blue colour. "So Eren is jealous?"

"Yep," Levi shrugged his shoulders and leaned a cheek on the wrist, while the elbow near the foggy window. "Knew it would happen finally,"

"Is there a reason for him to be? We are just friends after all," Erwin said with fingers squeezing leather around the wheel. When Levi turned around to him he speed up, looking just at the street.

"He's always been like this," Levi started, shifting on the chair and straightening legs. "I guess he's scared that something might happen between us,"

"Doesn't that mean he doesn't trust you?"

Levi simply blinked. The view in front of him made him forgot to answer, made him think longer, think how the sky is nice at this hour and that the winter has its advantages. The city was going to sleep at this early hour, with people rushing to home for warm supper and made bed, the wave of darkness was rushing them more and the lower temperature made Levi's shoulders shake. He sighed, remembering he's not alone and that there were words unsaid on his dry lips. "Maybe you're right. If he fully trusted me, he would never doubt me. I think it's my fault,"

"Why so?"

Levi remembered all the things he did, like how he moaned Erwin's name during their sex, how he always hides every message from him and how he chose to stay for the night with Erwin instead with Eren. Maybe some more things too..

"It doesn't matter," Before Erwin could say something, Levi moved closer to his side, to the source the warmth was coming from. He secretly, or maybe not really, glanced down at reddish hand freely resting on the gearshift then back to the crowded street and dark sky. "We grew close to each other in a really short time. It could be suspicious to anyone,"

Erwin progressed the words in his head for a longer time and later when they stood in the small traffic he finally gave Levi a full glance that took his breath away. He was closer than some inches before, he could smell his specific aroma of tea and cold. And he suddenly remembered how to breathe, with stoic face expression and breath leaving parted lips. "Do you think something could happen between us?" His voice sounded not really like his. With hope and face not sure about his own question.

Levi pushed his hips forward, back left the seat and now his shoulder bumped into the one of Erwin's. Closer and closer with each time. It was easy to notice how the air in the car changed, from warm and nice to too hot and thick. Levi didn't hide how his eyes now were made only for staring at a pair of lips. Blinking and staring at Erwin's lips, gulping at them, licking his own for them and leaving them slightly open, like an invitation and a way to let that shaky breath finally leave his body.

"Mhhm," He nodded, suddenly remembering Erwin's words, but still not able to speak like a proper person, everything starting from the closeness and ending on Erwin's leather jacket made him feel overwhelmed.

It was at that moment. He thought about for the whole week, seven days, hours way too much. He could finally kiss him, taste the lips again, feel those fucking annoying butterflies and feel like the world is something more than just routine. Their breaths mixed like one, his eyes already half closed, eyelids feeling too heavy to bear those emotions. The lips, almost brushed but Levi jumped when someone honked at them.

Erwin looked in front of him, with an expression like he just has been woken up from deep sleep. There was empty space on the road so he moved the car quickly with a loud sound of the engine. Levi already moved back to his place, far from Erwin, to the cold side of his chair.

"Hah, what a pity," He said with small chuckle and amusement. Watching people freezing their limbs outside, his ones, like every other part of the body now felt hot.

Erwin said nothing as he took a turn somewhere that didn't direct to Levi's house. Grey eyes followed his quick movement, the harsh change of gear and the loud sound of the engine in a hurry and the street getting darker and then it ended with a wall. And with a sound of the hand brake being pulled, like a magnet, Levi rose up and with ease found the quickest way to Erwin's lips.

The heart in his chest pounded like crazy, like it really wanted to escape it, and Levi got scared it actually could when Erwin kissed him back with a simple touch like electricity and lips movement with eagerness and hungriness.

His teeth pulled Levi's lower lip like a piece of gum and hand reached for the back of his neck to bring him closer and fill his mouth with his tongue. If not the car's equipment between their bodies he would pull Levi right away onto his lap, hold down and probably never let escape.

"Fuck," The blonde gasped and it was all he managed to say cause Levi was too eager to kiss more. To feel the warmth of his mouth, the coldness of his nose and the neutral temperature from his forehead when they bumped at each other.

The kissing was messy. Wild. Maybe the fact that the car was locked, somewhere at the end of the street in the darkness made Levi be like this. Gasping, moaning, kissing deeply with noises and some of the saliva not staying on lips but on cheek or jaw. He was suddenly pulled away, by fingers in his black hair, holding him strongly away. "Fuck, I've missed you so much," Erwin whispered and the two small hands owned both of his face, kissing the soul of him with noses crushing against each other.

Levi felt, well, it wasn't easy to say what he's feeling. He felt hot, on cheeks and ears especially but also on hands, in his pants and under his ribs. He felt easy, how everything slowly flowed just how it wanted. He felt the excitement, of course, the adrenaline, the sexual desire. "Me too, Erwin," He whispered with eyes on the shiny lips and fingers on Erwin's firm shoulders, gripping at his jacket. When he opened his eyes, his whole sight was foggy, like steam came from his bloody red cheeks. "Is it wrong to say that I wanted it for so long?" Levi swallowed thick saliva and leaned for three small kisses, like he was already forgetting how Erwin tasted. "I thought about you-your lips all the time,"

"For one person it might be wrong," He simply remembered it, Levi didn't forget, not even for a second about Eren and what he is doing will have its consequences someday. "But is all I want too, Levi. I knew you so damn well since the beginning," His hand, despite its size was delicate as a feather when it was handling with Levi's pink cheek. "I knew you would be like this," His thumb caressed pinky lower lip and kissed it much. Then moved back again, for space and time to say out loud. "Mine,"

Levi straightened his spine. Erwin still loved the flushed expression he had in front of him, glassy eyes, red cheeks and even pinker glassy lips, just from the kissing. He swore Levi was the prettiest man he ever saw, was he ever aware of how he looks now?

"You are fucking beautiful," He gasped and when reached with hand to Levi's skin again, he grabbed it and directed little lower. The pointing finger nudged the upper, wet lip, then lower one and Levi left a small kiss on the tip. "So breathtakingly beautiful," Erwin added and the finger went inside his wet and warm mouth. He closed eyes for a while, his mind already being wild. It wasn't really easy, with an erection in pants he could think only about one thing, of how the finger is his own cock entering the pretty mouth of Levi. Wasn't it all his plan? To make Erwin has even more dirty thoughts. He pushed the finger deeper and opened eyes, with different intense of colour. "And so hot,"

Levi just listened, taking the finger deep and suddenly the next one was added and rested on his soft tongue. Erwin bent them and pressed more on the tongue. "You make my cock twitch so much just with those eyes,"

Levi blinked and sucked on the fingers that were practically pushed down his throat.

"Can you take another one?" He asked out of breath and Levi was the one who took another one finger and added it to his wet mouth. It felt really full. Sucking onto three salty fingers, moving inside his mouth.

"Good," Erwin sighed with lust sparkling in his eyes. He pushed fingers even deeper making Levi choke. "You think it's my cock? It's way bigger than this Levi," He continued with a voice deep and finger rubbing the insides of his pretty mouth. The eyes were watery enough for Erwin to pull out and let Levi breath.

They were sticky, smelling like saliva and shining from being wet. He looked down and had only one thought in his mind.

"Open your legs,"

"Huh," Levi let out, still out of breath.

"Open your legs, Levi,"

He parted his knees, with hands opening all the buttons, zippers and belts. The underwear falling to Levi's knees and Erwin's middle finger, wet, sank inside Levi's hole. He reached to something, rubbing it and making his small body shiver.

"The fuck are you doing," He gasped, clinging into Erwin's side.

"Fuck," The blonde gasped under the nose and pressed parted lips to Levi's temple, kissing it softly and then just resting there. "Every time we drove together I just wished to do that," He pushed the second finger into the tight hole and he could barely move them. "I wished you could be this tight, why is that so?"

Levi squeezed his eyes, forehead pressed to Erwin's shoulder and he loved how the fingers were bumping into him harshly.

"Wasn't your boyfriend fucking you? Or is he that fucking small?" He chuckled, looking down at the pretty lacking cock. His wrist burned from the position but it didn't make him stop to fuck Levi's tight hole.

"Shut up bastard," Levi gasped and pushed hips into the air, his cock bouncing needy. "He was- ah, he was actually pretty fucking good,"

Erwin tightened his jaw. The fingers could finally move inside, he opened them wide, curled knuckles and in different angle began to hit Levi's precious insides. "Yeah? You want to compare who will fuck you better?" He said with nose pressed to Levi's black hair, they smelled like lavender and he inhaled it like he was addicted.

"N-no, fuck, right there,"

Levi's sweet curses for Erwin were like oil for the old rusted engine, they made his moves faster, rougher and deeper. Even the car moved, Levi imagined how it would turn out if they would actually fuck in here, maybe the hand brake would just stop working from all that moving.

"Right here?" Erwin asked after middle finger hit the prostate and in answer got a precious bunch of moans that muffled the wet noises of his hole.

"Ah, yes," Levi squeezed shut his eyes. The feeling in his lower stomach was better than ever. Was better than the weekend beginning, better than good sleep or good cigarette. "Fuck, Erwin, fuck,"

"Erwin fuck what?"

"I-I will cum, it's too much,"

"Good," The blonde whispered with a smile covering half of his face and clingy boy covering half of his chest. He glanced down at his legs stretched on the car's cockpit and his own hand between the thighs. "That's what I wanted, Levi. For you to come just from my fucking fingers,"

"Ah, Erwin," A couple of more Erwin's name left his lips with the highest of his voice. He could just record it and play every time before bed, it was a beautiful melody to the two of his ears. The milky thighs shook like crazy and Levi was on time with lifting his shirt to end on his stomach, not on the fabric. The climax felt so good he stayed in the position for a good one minute until he felt fingers leaving his twitching hole.

"It was good. Really good,"

"No shit," Levi gasped after cleaning himself and closing his trousers. He felt his face burning, hair sweaty and stomach touching shirt in not the most pleasing way.

"You sounded so pretty. I could listen to it forever," Erwin said proudly of himself and Levi moved on the chair, facing the man and cutting his light tone.

"Turn on that car and move"

"Huh,"

"Do it. Drive,"

"What's the sudden rush?" Erwin shook his head but did what Levi said. He turned around, to check if there's anything he would hit by accident and felt suddenly some weight on his thighs. When he turned around a storm of black hair was there and a pair of hands on his thighs, lifting a shirt to have full access to black trousers.

"Oh. Levi," He chuckled nervously looking down, then at the empty street and again down, at the grey eyes staring at him simply as he opened the belt with the loud sound of the silver ending. "You naughty boy,"

"Yeah, whatever" Levi said with hands a little shaky as he opened the trousers, welcoming with a blink the huge, wet, twitching erection in dark blue underwear. "Fuck," He muttered, sloppily taking the cock out of the fabric. It was heavy in his weak hands, the precum dripped to his fingers and the cock moved. "You are so fucking big and wet,"

"How I'm supposed to drive like this?" Erwin gasped to himself holding the wheel just with the left hand and the right fell to Levi's shoulders and back, rubbing it. "Levi,"

He looked up "Huh,"

"You want it?"

"I'm already doing it"

"No no," Erwin smiled and the fingers massaged the skin on Levi's head through the soft black hair. "_Do you want it?_"

"Yes"

The corners of his lips curled. "How much you want my cock down your throat?"

"Jesus, quit with that shitty talk"

"Just tell me. Do you wanted it since the beginning? Do you wanted it while being with your boyfriend?"

Levi sighed, the hand moved at the base of the hard cock and the skin moved. "You really have some fucked up kinks," He whispered and took the tip to his mouth sucking it lightly. Salty and totally not tasty but something about _how that big fucking thing belongs to Erwin_ and _how it's this hard because of him_ made Levi want to suck on it long and choke on it too. "Yeah," He said after some sucks and swirling with his tongue. "I wanted your cock for so long. I couldn't wait to choke on it," Levi smirked seeing how the cock twitched and he took it again in his warm mouth. Struggling for half of the time but giving his best to actually give the big man some of the pleasure.

His head bopping, moving up and down with fringe falling to Levi's eyes and having Erwin as a help.

The blonde shook his head, having a small eye contact with the man in the car next to his. "Your mouth feels too good," He said with the leg on the break and hand in black, soft hair suddenly pushing it hard onto his cock. His hips pushing also forward with deep sigh leaving his chest. "Fuck, you took it,"

Levi then releases, with his saliva dripping down and then sticking to the red cock. He caught some breaths and more of saliva, glancing down at muscular thighs and balls resting on them.

The fingers moved his hair aside and Levi saw the softness in that flush-pervert expression. "Are you tired?" He asked with voice low.

Levi shook his head and wiped the corner of his lips. "Not really," He lowered the aching neck and left small kisses on the thick veins and reddish top before taking it to the half of length and sucking until he couldn't breathe.

He was ashamed. He felt ashamed. He loved the whole concept, the whole situation that happened to be in after calmly spending time at his work. With lips always warm from the coffee, back always comfortable from his chair, to the place he is now. With cock thicker than his own hand, deep in his throat, making it hard to breathe, and the neck aching from the uncomfortable position. He fucking loved it, he loved to have Erwin inside him. No matter if it were his fingers, cock or anything. He sucked on the cock like it was something he could give his life for, even when it was tasteless, sometimes sour and with a weird smell. But every time Erwin would push him down, or groan low, he would keep going deeper and faster.   
  
The blonde usually keeps it longer but he couldn't now, he didn't even make it to Levi's home.

With the short glance aside he saw that Levi was wet again, he was squeezing his thighs together to calm down his cock or to feel something. And Erwin came just on that thought, he was so weak and horny just from sucking his cock.

"You swallowed?"

"Yeah. It was disgusting," He said out of breath, trying to keep the expression stoic despite cheeks being the colour of stop sign in front of them.

Erwin just stopped in the middle of some street to kiss Levi on lips. Long and none of them wanted to let it go, it just ended with their breaths ending. And Levi closed his seatbelts in quiet, odd silence.

"You are hard again?"

Levi sighed. Didn't answer. It's wasn't easy to hide that. His cock has quiet a size too when it grows and now it outlined perfect shape in the tight, black jeans.

"You got a little too excited when I made you choke on it, am I right?"

"Shut up."

"What? I didn't say anything wrong,"

"Just drive me home. I wanna take a shower,"

Erwin smiled weakly. "I see. You wanna wash me off from you before your boyfriend will come?"

"Can you stop speaking about him?"

"What? Feeling guilty already?"

Levi made a face. "No,"

Erwin turned onto his street and a few blocks later he stopped. The doors were still locked and before Levi could grab the handle, Erwin leaned in and said with brows down.

"If you want.. I can help you to get rid of him."

"What" Levi blinked. "You mean kill him?"

"Mhmm,"

"You are sick" Levi said getting out of the car.

"Think of it,"

"Sick. I will get you a new medicine next time," And he shut the doors.   
  
  
  


The pen clicked in the silence, it always meant the session was over. Deep sigh made the air even thicker but it was too cold outside to open the window. Levi just inhaled that, like thousands of other uneasy and heavy breaths of his patients.

It was all over for tonight, last session on long, dark day. Katrine. Really warm woman, with warmer look in her eyes and her character. She was a bit older than Levi, with some unhappiness in her life and unluckiness she was too weak to bear.

Today she left some tears on the carpet and couch. Levi still could see the wet marks on the brown fabric. Her chest still felt some heaviness on it after speaking for so long.

"Is something wrong?"

_How should I say it?_ She thought rapidly, staring at the blank space, before her doctor could worry too much and ask more questions. "No," She started impetuously and smiled at that silly habit. "It's nothing,"

Her movement on the leather couch was the loudest sound now in the room. It was awkward, especially with the grey eyes placed on her. Piercing, sharp and formidable as if he could read something just by the way she behaves. 

Levi even smiled, only he does it this slightly. That one corner, curled and lifted made everything less uncomfortable for Katrine. How her shaky hands had problems with opening the white, old handbag and stopped when they found a wallet. Brain, everything telling her it's empty.

"Actually," She made a small break. Looking up to calm expression of young looking man. "Could I pay for the visit next time? It's just as I said earlier.. I had not the best time at my work and-"

"It's fine. Just be here next time,"

Something lit in her eyes, the sparkle growing and the leaving her left eye and flowing down the rounded cheek just like the heavy feeling. "I just really need your help and I would pay you anything I have, real-"

"Calm down," Levi said with saliva not swallowed and knees stretched with tiny sound. He made some steps around the table and grabbed the shaky hand with his both. "Take your medicine, go to work tomorrow and meet me in two weeks,"

The weak smile slowly appeared on her dried lips, lipstick she had two hours ago has been gone. 

"It's all about your health. We have been seeing each other for so long that I can trust you even with this,"

That warm, single tear fell to even warmer hand. She broke again, feeling weak and pathetic but the squeezes of another person's hand felt like she could be fix.

"I never met someone like you. Doctor,-"

"Ekhem," Loud cough has been spread in the room, coming from the third person. "Am I interrupting you something?" And the familiar voice continued, the harshness was similar too.

Levi hated when people don't knock. His hands were softly owing the older pair in his but brows, the brows showed his real anger rising slowly both with wrinkles on his forehead.

"Erwin," He bit back with the same tone. "Were you deaf when I said not to come when I'm working?"

The woman's hands dropped to her body, grabbing the handbag and smiling politely despite the odd atmosphere growing. "I shall leave now. I took enough of your time today."

"Alright. Be safe,"

And she left, passing by a tall, blonde man. Millimetres were for their shoulders to bump at each other.

"You are done now, I guess,"

Erwin shut the doors with his lower back resting on the wood.

Levi was already annoyed enough to ignore his interrupter. It was late December's afternoon and the tiredness was visible under his eyes when he got back to his deck.

"Well," The blonde walked around room confidently like it's his own. Inhaling odd smells. He grabbed the handle and opened window letting cold, fresh air inside and thousands of souls leaving the room. "What just happened before I came?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Wasn't I clear saying I don't speak about my patients?" Levi finally spoke, with amusement and irritation flowing with his voice and eyes still low, even when at the back of his head, some voice kept telling him to look at the tall man. 

"She didn't seem like a regular patient," He said right back, fresh air making his grimace slowly disappear.

"What's got into you?" Levi didn't get any answer. Just some steps and Erwin was in front of him. Cold weather and thick, brown coat was hanging from his wide shoulders till his long legs. Perfumes used hour ago made Levi inhale it and feel warm under his black, long sleeved top. "What do you want?"

"You ignored my every message, every call."

Levi's brow arched high. Kinda true, he blocked Erwin's number after getting too many messages around Eren, he didn't want to explain them.

"Are you that dumb? I wasn't alone," His tone harsh making Erwin shut up. He walked some more around the clinic, like searching for something and giving Levi time for whatever he needed. He could hear the pen, the paper and the sighs. It was easy for Levi to pretend he was alone as he began to clean the desk that got messy within hours of work.

Erwin was patient, a perfect time kill for him was to sit and watch Levi. Watch his sharp features softening as he got busy with the thing he likes, like segregating documents and forgot for a minute of everything that made his forehead wrinkled.

Erwin quickly understood he wasn't a fan of this office. He remembered, as eyes left Levi for one short second. Levi seemed different inside. Of course, it was his work place that needed professionalism, but even for him Levi acted distanced and cold as ice. And the place was filled with too many emotions, histories and problems. Every time he walked in here it seemed like the negative emotions were arranged on the shelves like books and ready to attack anyone who got closer.

"How was your day?" Blonde asked. It was a nice silence in the air but he simply missed the voice speaking directly to him.

"Long," Levi said back, not looking up.

Left corner rose high and Erwin wandered some more around the office. The long couch where thousands of people have sit, cried, laid. "Talkative as always," He hummed, resting his lower body on the windowsill, soft wind caressing his nape. "Are you hungry?"

"Shut up. I'm trying to focus,"

"On what?" Erwin pressed more, with his heavy shoe on wooden floor and Levi's nerves.

"Not your interest,"

Erwin stood already behind him, lowering through his right shoulder and Levi bounced aside.

"Erwin, quit being a pain in the ass."

"It's late. Just wrap it up," He reached and closed the folder of papers with Levi's hand in it, then, straightened his spine just to not annoy him more and appeared in front of him to avoid a slap or hit. "Anyway," Erwin sighed away the weird feeling in his chest. "I missed you," His heavy hand landed on desk, some of Levi papers moved like a wind blew through them.

"It's been a week," Levi said with heavy eyelids, too heavy to look higher than Erwin's big, veiny hand. Eventually, he blinked, following the silver watch around his wrist, higher a long, black sleeve that reached his neck. It was turtleneck, making his fit body look.. well. Levi sighed and couldn't find words to name that look. He looked like freshly out of long, hot shower that leaves steam in the mirror and all glasses. His hair were slickly pushed back, with shiny pomade or gel, tons of cologne were around his neck and soaked into the fabric of his turtleneck like rain on hair. It was a successful man look, people around could only look, sigh and then wish they could speak with that man or be like him. That's how he looked, filthy rich, with probably a gun or knife in the back of his trousers and with Levi's name on his lips.

"A week too long," He said simply but fully aware of the stare Levi has been giving him for a really long time now. His second hand landed on the desk, with that sound Levi's whole body jumped on the chair like he was scared. He just straightened his knees and now was two millimetres away from Erwin's lips. The thick fog of cologne stopped him to catch a breath.

"You are awful." He said shortly and moved the head back when the blonde tried to give him a peck. "What if you will have to leave for another week? Month?"

"I won't without you,"

Levi looked like he was already in losing position. His next words sounded softer than it could ever be. "Then don't go,"

Erwin smirked, the smirk owned half of his face. Levi standing was still some feet smaller than Erwin leaning down at him. Their breaths mixed, suddenly becoming really heavy and thick.

"I can-, we can't here-" He gasped when Erwin leaned again, tips of their noses brushing against each other and lips almost, just almost touching.

"Who will see? We are here alone," Erwin lowered his voice to a whisper now and that maybe finally convinced Levi. He closed his eyes, with eyelashes coating his cheeks and pair of lips on his.

He tasted like lips covered in lip balm with mint gum. His lips were yet again soft and with every kiss Levi needed one more. The desk was only reason why he couldn't glue to Erwin's chest and feel other parts of his body other than lips. He quickly thought of going through it but it will make too much mess, with paper crumbling from his shoes and probably empty cup falling down. So he made quick steps around the table and with smile Erwin opened his shoulders, inviting Levi in.

His lips moved softly but surely, with fingers moving Levi's black hair aside and breathing deeply through his nose. "I couldn't stop thinking about you," Erwin admitted close to Levi. Under fingertips, he felt warm skin, rubbed it and the man under him purred, it was the back of his neck.

"Yeah?" Levi probably didn't listen. He was busy. Fingers moved down the fabric that's was tightly covering Erwin's neck and pressed small peck to the warm skin. "Do you like it?" He gasped into his skin within the fifth peck. Then Levi added a tongue, that drew small circles on the pinkish place and sucked a spot with a bop.

"Mmh," Erwin let out like a cat. Eyes small and hands around Levi, shamelessly touching onto his hip and ass. The hands were really big so it was easy for Erwin to grab him like that. "I want more," He said, liking the way Levi makes things today. Slowly but always in the teasing, almost erotic way. How he make every kiss long, lick with his tongue ticklish and with a deep breath.

"I know you want," He said with wet kisses going higher. Some on the sharp jawline and then at the ear, sucking the earlobe. "You want me so much, don't you? Tell me, Erwin. How much you want me,"

The hands tightened on Levi's ass, Erwin's breath became shakier and he couldn't control the thrust he did, with his growing boner into Levi's thighs.

"So fucking much," He gasped, almost choking when Levi's hand reached to his pants, closed with a tight belt, button and zipper. It was too much to open with just one hand so Levi rubbed the erection through the fabric. "You are the only person I want, so much,"

He swallowed the saliva with a sound and then felt empty when Levi walked away just like that. For his jacket and scarf.

"Where do you think you going?"

"I don't want to do it here," Levi said simply, taking on the clothes with hurry.

"A pity," Erwin sighed yet with a smile. He grabbed some things from the table and the ones he left on the sofa. "I wanted to take you on that table and then the sofa," He pointed the places with finger and Levi suddenly caught his neck and brought him down by the doors.

"Take me on the table and sofa in your house," He mumbled before kissing him deeply and with a swirl of his tongue.

Are every cheating relationships like this? Levi thought later, in his own bathtub, with legs, pink from hot water, straightened at its edges. Full of excitement and desire and that sexual tension. Is it all about sex really? If its..

Well. If it is. It's worth it anyway.

The sex with Erwin is something out of this planet. And every time Levi thinks about the big hands crushing him-

The thick cock destroying him-

He can't really think straight when he sees him.

But no. It's not only about the desire, about sex and it begins to worry Levi. It worries him, how he's worried about Erwin. About his health, about his stupid unlucky to get in troubles.

"Yeah, you want to come?"

He asks softly, with one hand making a small wave of water. It smells too nice.

"Of course. I will,"

"But not in that way-" Levi said sharply. "Come to talk. I know you need this,"

Erwin smiled on the other side. But there was some weird noises too but Levi was too tired to ask.

"I will come, okay?"

"Okay," He sighed and closed eyes. Some shifting. Weird sounds. Levi thought again and finally decided to ask. "Where are you now?"

On the other side, Erwin smirked. The shoulder was pressing phone to his ear, hands busy with tying a rope against skin. "Work,"

"Meaning? Be more specific, you freak,"

"Specific?" He looked around, the whole room was a mess. He had a small fight, but successfully tied the man to the chair and before killing him for not giving back the big amount of money, he got a call from Levi. "The verdict is getting longer because of you, Levi," He smiled and faced now the man, he was terrified, forehead full of sweat and eyes full of screams. "You wanna hear?"

Erwin pressed the sound button on his screen, placed the phone close to the man and then took down the fabric around his mouth. "Beg. You may receive mercy if you'll do well," He said with ease and on the other side Levi listened well, almost choking on the saliva when the voice through the phone suddenly wasn't Erwin's.

"P-please," The man cried, awfully, like the skin was ripped from his body. Levi couldn't really tell what Erwin did to him besides tying him down. "I-I beg you, I wi-will get the money back, just don't-don't hurt me-, don't kill me, please.." His voice got weaker, he choked on heavy cry and Levi swore he heard Erwin smirking. "I have w-wife and son,"

The blonde took the phone away and rolled eyes. "What you think, Levi? Should I spare him?" He asked, the phone still with hands-free mode.

Levi didn't know what to say. Would it really work if he asked Erwin not to?

"Erwin-, could you?"

He chuckled, turning off the loud mode and pressed phone to his ear. "I couldn't. It's not that simple, Levi, you understand?" He said with a voice soft but suddenly the man in front of him began to scream for the help. The sigh left Erwin's mouth and with the phone in his hand, Levi heard loud slam and then silence.

"Erwin?"

Fifteen seconds of silence.

"It's fine. You still in the bath?"

"Fuck," Levi lowered in the water. It got chilly so he turned on the hot temperature again. "You are sick,"

Something dropped in Erwin, and if Levi was there he would notice the sparkle leaving his eyes too. "Am I?"

Levi may or not may mean it but he shouldn't say it out loud. He sighed and straightened knees again. "That was sick. Why would you even talk to me while doing it?"

"I-," He sighed. Looked down at white carped covered with red stain. "Wanted to hear you. Calm me down, p-please,"

"Erwin. Is everything alright?"

He gulped. Suddenly feeling really hot and dizzy. He loosened the tie with a dirty hand, one button, two, nothing helped. "Fuck, I'm feeling dizzy,"

"Did you take the pill today?"

"Uh," The heavy breath left his chest, whole body already on the sofa that belonged to the man he just killed. The whole cellar was spinning. "I took it,"

Levi kept speaking to him, asking for answers or anything and when Erwin was quiet as a mice Levi already left the tub, with water dripping down his small body. He was ready to put on anything and with wet hair drive to wherever that fucker was. Suddenly he heard heavy breathing and then the voice, calm and absent.

"I'm fine now, Levi. It was maybe low sugar or something. I should just clean myself from here. Talk to you later," And he pressed the red button quicker than the words reached Levi's brain.   
  


The days were passing, as they always do and things move on too, maybe too quickly and sometimes too recklessly.

Like addiction. Levi feels like he is addicted to Erwin, addicted to lying, so eager to breathe the same air he does. Now he would find any excuse just to be with him, instead with Eren. He would lie about more work, about patients in need or sudden departure for training for psychiatrists. And he feels down, when he tells Eren another lie, watching his face or voice drop, but then everything inside him tickles, the heart beats faster and corners of lips curls automatically just when he's with Erwin.

It's time where the December is ending, the holidays are near and Levi is somewhere with Erwin. He doesn't know really where they are, they were in a restaurant on a dinner that Erwin paid for and now in a hotel that looks more like a house than a hotel.

"I would kill anyone to keep you for myself and to keep you safe,"

A finger traced strawberry lips and when he speaks, the lips brush gently against rougher skin.

"Yeah? Prove it then,"   
  
Levi didn't mean it at all. There was no second thoughts behind the words. Maybe he wished for a kiss after that, a chuckle followed by white teeth smile. Anything but Erwin doing actually what Levi said just to bite back.

"Tell me who," He begins. "Is there anyone you would like to see with their head chopped off?"

Levi chuckled, hands wrapped around Erwin's neck like a monkey and with odd face expression he got closer to his warm body. "What the hell,"

"Maybe that cashier that didn't like us holding hands in her store? Maybe that bus driver that didn't stop when you ran? Hm?" He lifted the brow, sounding serious to death while Levi listened, searching for any word to sound like a joke. "Or maybe that lady that keeps coming to your office despite having no money to pay you for your hard work? She just comes to see you, silly woman. Not being aware that her doctor will never look at her the way she needs to."

Levi didn't blink for a while. He received a small peck on lips from Erwin though.

"Do you really care so much about the people around us?"

"No. I only care about you." The hand fell to Levi's thigh easily held by one hand and squeezed it.

Oddly when Levi visited the store the cashier was absent, later when he had to use the bus for a few days he didn't meet even once the same driver. He kept that in mind until in his office, he had a meeting with the woman, Katrine, Erwin has mentioned too.

One minute past five, she's absent too.

She's never late, in fact, she always comes ten minutes quicker, Levi thinks, oddly nervous but then there's the knocking and heavy breathing comes inside with a weak smile and long brown hair.

"Sorry, I'm late,"

She paid this time. And she's always the last one. It's only a few minutes past seven when Levi's done cause it's Friday, his mind as always wandering around the warm flat with fresh food, blanket and bath but the Katrine didn't seem to leave just yet.

"Are you free now, Mr Ackermann?"

She squeezed her bag, a brand new one. The perfumes were sweeter today, hair brushed in a less messy way and the eyeshadows blended on her lids were lighter.

"Yes, do you need anything else?"

"Actually. I thought, maybe we could go for a coffee or something? I wanted to show some gratitude for your good heart and actions earlier."

Levi gasped with a small smile and stood up. "I don't go out with my patients. I like to keep my work and private life apart. But thank you, I appreciate it."

She left and Levi took out his phone.

Erwin's number was the first one on the list with recent phones. It's Friday, as mentioned earlier, hearing first signal Levi hopes for Erwin to come and maybe join him in bath and cuddling. He might surprise him with a bottle of wine and warm supper.

"Are you free now? I want you to come to mines today," Levi said right away when Erwin picked up with voice sweet and excitement in his lower stomach.

"No. I'm busy right now, sorry." He hung up really quickly, Levi couldn't even say quick bye or even disagree.

He stared at the screen, at Erwin's name disappearing and home screen appearing. _Okay then_. He thought and packed himself, driving the bus straight to his flat.

The long weekend just began and the first thing at home Levi did was small cleaning, it helps him and his brain to get rid of all the problems he solves through the long week. Mostly in the weekends, Eren accompanies him. They cook together, sleep in one bed and act like an old marriage however they never talked about engaging. However, this time Eren was the first one to decline their meeting.

Left alone, Levi drowns down in hot water filling his white tub some hour later. Doesn't know how much time he spends there, but his fingers are wrinkled and water got cooler. Yet it wasn't the reason he left relaxing bath.

The knocking made him.

He wrapped a blue towel around his wet body, droplets falling to the cold floor when he opened the doors.

It was Erwin.

But not the Erwin that surprises Levi with flowers, smile and long kiss and then another one when he goes through the frame. It's different Erwin, with stare somewhere lost and hands dirtier from the blood.

"Erwin?" Levi gasped, letting him in quickly for any of his neighbours to see. He closed the doors and locked every lock. "What did you do?" He said, trying to stay calm in his voice but the rush and panic was hearable still.

There was more blood, some on his shirt, jeans, even on his cheek a small one, like a fingerprint.

"I killed her,"

He said with hoarse voice and hands began to shake.

Levi gulped the saliva, she could mean really only one person, he didn't have to ask. It's was a lot to hear now. A lot of thoughts went through Levi's head. But he is known by many people with his clear thinking. He firstly put Erwin above everything else. 

He grabbed him by the shaky, dirty and really cold hand to the bathroom. It was something that he already experienced.

"Where is her body?" Was the first thing he asked, trying to wash the blood away from the skin. The cleaned sink was now damned and one dirty towel laid in Erwin’s feet.

"In my car,"

Okay. Levi took a sight and rubbed the skin too harshly with the soap, apologised with small sigh and soaked the towel with hot water, pressing to Erwin’s neck, where it wasn’t dirty. “You should do something about it,"

"I know. I just wanted to see you,"

Erwin then took off his clothes, with Levis asking to wash them. He threw them on the floor, with his underwear, even when there was no need to.

It felt cold, the wind somehow crawled to the bathroom from under the doors hitting him everywhere.

Levi turned on the washer and quickly put on some clothes before going back to the the man. He seemed calmer, clean again but Levi couldn’t manage to make his hair look as beautiful as it did always.

"Erwin," He said, sounding unsure and aware of every word.

He was standing there, in the middle of bathroom, naked from head to toes and shaking from cold.

"I'll bring you something,"

It happened for Levi to have some of his clothes. Some nights he would come back wearing Erwin's shirt or jacket, he would wash them and never had the occasion to give it back.

Levi dressed him, feeling eyes following his every movement, like a small child in the first day of the kindergarten.

"Say something," He added, everything smelling like the soap Levi used.

His thin brows, straight, now went down showing a lot of negative emotions. Every one of them made Erwin's corners fall lower and lower.

"I think you should come more often to my office as a patient. And take the medicine again," He said quietly and the blood stain on his cheek was still there.

"Why?" He asked, being dragged to the sink again.

Levi rubbed the cheek harshly with his fingers. He sighed and the only redness now was a mark Levi did by himself. "You just need them, kay? Trust me?"

After staring at each other for a while Erwin nodded and made a step, falling to closed arms.

"I'm so glad I could see you," He says, watching himself in the mirror seeing also Levi's small, tender shoulders and waist disappearing in an embrace.

Levi stared into empty space with shaky eyes, feeling more and more weight falling to his shoulders. His shoulders were the only thing now keeping Erwin from falling down.

"Can I stay for the night?" He asked warmly into his skin, as he spoke the lips brushed against him like kisses.

Levi agreed, maybe cause he wanted Erwin or maybe cause it was safer, for the people outside.

It was really late and none of them sleeping yet. Erwin was calm again, almost like he forgot why he was here and what he did hours ago. Levi saw that and wrote down, how he acted like with memory loss. Then he joined him in the living room, with sofa opened and covered with blankets and pillows. Erwin smelled nicely and his heavy hand landed on Levi’s hip.

"We haven't fuck in a long time,"

"Is this what bothers you now?" Levi said too harshly but didn't move away from Erwin.

Erwin looked up with soft expression and shook his head. "No. I just thought about it, since we are alone, in your house, and you don't like to do it any elsewhere,"

"I don't think I will be in a mood today,"

"Why?"

"Are you kidding me, Erwin?"

The blonde sighed and his heavy hands rubbed Levi's knees, calves and feet. "It's nothing, isn't it? It's something I already told you about that I will," He pressed on the last words. "I will kill anyone that will try to take you away from me,"

"But she wasn't-"

"She was. You just didn't see it,"

Levi sighed and watched the hands travelling around his thigh, pulling him and their faces close together.

"I want you to understand," He said with eyes focusing on Levi's lips and fingers messily squeezing the thigh. His breath was also shaking and when Levi shifted, to get closer, after all, he felt the erection there. "That I'm doing this for you. I'm doing it cause you are precious to me and I want to keep you away from people that may hurt or use you," He whispered with a voice low and the goosebumps already owned Levi's whole body.

His own fingers pushed down his pyjama pants and the hand came back with even harder grip to his milky skin. Five fingers left red marks and then crawled to his back, taking the white t-shirt off his shoulders.

Levi felt warm. Felt odd also, oddly weird inside. Like butterflies, but the one that flopped their wings too much and made him want to throw up. His knee wrapped around Erwin’s waist and their mouths connected in one with sloppy kisses turning into even more lazy ones. 

“What about you? Will you hurt me?” He asked into his lips, with eyes half closed and ready to make another step just after Erwin’s answer. 

“Never,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was too long im tired of using english language for next 24 hours


	6. wedding in winter

"Hey, you look good,"

Levi's lips held a faint smile and his eyes twinkled at the sight of the man with green eyes intense like the jade. He felt somehow easy about today, looking down at the hand he was holding, warm and two tones of skin darker. It squeezed his one like a reminder he's not alone and it helped every time. With that smile slowly growing he looked up, the eyes twinkling at him like filled with tears or stars, the hair, brown and always so bushy and hard to keep down, today pushed back with not even one strand standing out. There was a bow under his chin, the one Levi picked to match his tie. A black suit, reaching just his ankles, that firstly was a problem for them to find a one for Eren's long legs. A vest underneath the blazer that shaped well the cut in the waist. He simply looked handsome and good. "Thanks, you too,"

Eren smiled wide and naturally, how he always does, it matched well with his open and positive personality. He made a short step to lock his lips with Levi's one in a warm and long kiss. It could easily melt any snow, of how it melted Levi's heart now. "Then let's go,"

The doors have been opened and the music that came from them now was two thousand times louder. Everywhere were people. Dancing, drinking, eating. Typical wedding. Most of them Eren didn't know. Levi knew no one.

It was a wedding Eren's mother's sister and of course as a part of the family he and his other half were invited to the party. Levi wasn't easy to convince, he simply wasn't a fan of parties where ninety nine percent of people were strangers to him. It was pointless. But Eren really insisted, and his biggest persuasion for him to come was the argument of Levi not spending enough time with him. So he couldn't really say no. He was on the losing position since the beginning.

"It's best if I get drunk before anybody would speak to me," Levi said with the hand reaching for the closest waiter for the glass with champagne just to drink half of it with one sip. It was sweet, with many bubbles that tickled his nostrils and throat.

"Yeah. Let's have some fun, Levi," He said with the half smile and somehow he and Levi were already on the floor, between other pairs. His large hands felt silk fabric of Levi's suit, to the curve of his hip and then at the back, pressing him closer. "I almost forgot how it is to go out with you," Deep sigh left his thin lips, maybe because the heating inside the hall was too high.

"Nah. That's not possible. We went out like a week ago," Levi said with ten fingers around Eren's neck, moving only his legs in the same direction Eren did. He was a terrible dancer and this you couldn't call a dance.

"You mean the restaurant? It was already a month ago, Levi," Many emotions swam with the melody of his voice and music in the background. He tends to touch Levi's face whenever they are close, like a habit, as he does now, with the right hand leaving his body and moving away the black hair from his eyes. Then he would rub the cheek and stare simply at the thin, fade pink lips to judge if there's a grimace resting.

"You are so busy with the work you don't even see it yourself," Eren adds with voice getting warmer and if they would be outside with the snow falling, it would make Levi think it's summer. "It's really good timing for you to relax and think about something else," Three of the long fingers reached for his chin, moved to the jawline and rubbed it simply, with the touch gentle and pleasant as a feather.

Levi just blinked at him, with softer expression and brows falling down and he moved closer, feeling Eren's cologne that seemed familiar. "You are right,"

"See? I know what's right for you," He chuckled shyly and pressed his chest to Levi's and his cheek on top of his head. It was soft, almost like a pillow. Levi didn't like when he did that, used the advantage of his height, but today, today he just squeezed hands tightly and snuggled into his chest like it was his last time. "It's nice, isn't it?" Eren asked close to his ear, watching all the people, the decorations, they were really nice, mostly in the motive of winter. Snowflakes, sometimes the fake snow would fall from the ceiling and there couldn't lack any of the Christmas angels.

Levi looked down, his hand moving slightly on Eren's back and gaze watched the floor moving with different colours of lights. "It is," It sounded sad and was so quiet Eren couldn't hear. 

One and a half dance later Eren's family spotted him and caught like a fish with thousands of hugs and kisses from more thousands of aunts and grandmas. Some young girl wrapped a hand around Eren and like that he disappeared, leaving Levi alone in that crazy place with most people drunk already not remembering their own names.

"So," Levi pressed a smile on his lips, looking around the place and then again at the older woman who had the same eyes as her son. "Wedding in the middle of winter is interesting,"

And it was all he could talk about with her. He was awkward, despite knowing his mother for a long time, it's always awkward without Eren.

He managed to run away with the excuse of the urgent need to use the toilet. He lost her easily, moving around the people with another glass of champagne in his hand. He used the glassy doors to the garden section where fresh, chilly air hit him and made felt better right away. Amazing how annoying people could rise your anger.

Luckily, the night didn't belong to the coldest ones. The cold, of course, was felt even through the rich fabric of his suit but he stayed outside until his shoulders weren't shaking. Looking around he saw some kids playing, some people smoking at the place made for it and other just talking cause unlike Levi they knew someone here and easily knew how to make friends without the annoying feeling of awkwardness and lack of subjects. It was really nothing special here, just one night of free food and alcohol, and something different than the routined weekend, Levi always liked the indifference. He looked some more around and one group of people caught his eyes.

"You gotta be shitting me," He swore under his nose. Was it him? _Of course, it was him._ Another voice answered in his head, with tone different. It could be anyone, but Levi was never wrong. Only one person could have these long legs, these wide shoulders and hair made like this. Yes, it was definitely Erwin. Plus to that, he was standing in a group of people who looked like rich snobs. Another fucking plus to that was the woman with her hand tangled around Erwin's arm like a ribbon, holding onto him tightly like the heels were too thin to keep a balance alone.

Levi wasn't aware of how long he has stared at them. Making up thousands of stories inside his head of why the blonde could be here and why was he with the woman? He never spoke about women. He never spoke about his relationship status. One of the men turned around, probably feeling the hot hole that was burned in his back by grey eyes. He quickly caught Levi's stare, sending a sharp smirk just for him. He was, well, really handsome, with black hair pushed up and suit in strips. Maybe he was just like Erwin? A hitman in his natural habitat.

He lifted his glass with a pinky in the air and right eye winked to Levi, drinking the whole glass.

Levi almost choked on that but made it into a cough, somehow found himself doing the same just from his politeness and weakness to handsome, tall man.

Erwin caught the man, his friend, doing the flirty gesture to someone and curiously looked in the same way, right away noticing Levi.

_Shit_. Levi muttered with bubbles warming his throat and the winter changing to spring, flowers blooming around him and the clouds becoming white. 

Erwin's smile widened, like someone said good news to him, but he did nothing, his big hand was still on the woman's small back and he turned around to the group of his friends laughing at something. Even though the distance Levi could hear it clearly.

Levi drank the sweet liquor till the last drop and when Erwin turned around, to eye Levi in that black suit he was gone.

"Oh, Levi, here you are," Eren caught him just by doors, straight into arms and feeling cold radiating from him.

"Yeah. I needed air,"

"Good. Come, my aunt really wants to meet you," A hand wrapped around his waist, bringing Levi to hip like his own property.

"Levi,"

The voice. Familiar, deep yet sounded so light, it could belong only to one person. Only one person could sound so needy and demanding just by saying his name. It made Levi stop immediately, turning around with hand falling from Eren's.

"Erwin,"

He said back, hopeless and somehow sad but the dangerous excitement rising in his stomach. Their eyes met and locked together so strongly not even blink or thousand of blinks could tear it apart.

"Oh, Erwin," Eren also spoke, lightly but confused. "What are you doing here? Are we suddenly a part of a family?"

"Not really. I came here just as a partner,"

"Partner. Oh, you are with your girlfriend here?"

He stared at Levi like the blue eyes were made only for him, staring only at the one person in a room full of people, seeing only the grey eyes in the ocean full of them, he said. "Yes,"

Eren joined Levi by his side, his left hand wrapped around his waist and gripped him by the hip. "That's nice. I hope we could meet her by time,"

"Yes. She went just to fix the make up," He said and Eren chuckled, moving the hand on Levi's hip to make him say something or even react but he just stared blankly.

"I understand. Girls things. Gladly Levi doesn't wear make up, I guess he would be the type to fix it in every occasion,"

"You thinks so?" Erwin finally and simply moved his eyes from Levi to Eren and gave him a warm smile. "You look really good Eren. I didn't know it was one of your family getting married," 

"Yeah, neither did I. I- We were just invited all of sudden. I told Levi that he works too much and he should go so I finally got him to relax and- oh. My mother is calling me, please excuse me for a minute,"

He left them alone as quickly as he came and this time Erwin wasn't so brave to lock with grey, sharp eyes. He looked around, everywhere but not at him. At his shoes, at his hand. Feeling like he and Levi were the only people here. It was quiet. Dead quiet.

"Why are you here?" Levi asked, after staring without blinking until his eyes hurt like hell. With the harshness in his voice, sharp as knife.

"I have an errand to make today,"

"Even here?"

The blonde nodded, getting comfortable with Levi again, like they were strangers for a while. "You won't notice anything, let's not talk about work since you are here to relax," He smiled softly, it was pure. "You," Erwin then sighed, like even speaking about Levi was taking his breath away. It was worth it, every breath, if could, he would give it or offer for him. Their eyes locked finally and Levi seemed less angry more anxious. "You look so beautiful," Erwin continued, catching another shallow breath. He has seen Levi in different ways now but it was something far from what he has seen. He never saw Levi in a full suit, with actual tie and white shirt, shiny black shoes. His hair brushed prettily, parted in almost the middle of his head, showing off the small, pale face with sharp features. Of course, there were soft too, like the tip of his nose, rounded, his lips, chiselled in heart shape with a pinkish colour, always looking like the upper lip was pushed or puckered. His black hair always contrasting with the paleness of his face, eyes always the first thing you see despite wanting to look at lips, they were grey, sometimes looked like blue, but always so intense and bright, no matter what shade, they were one in a million. Or a trillion.

Levi swallowed the saliva with a face. Of course, Erwin looked good. If it was to describe, he wouldn't even try, there's probably nothing in this world like this what he sees, nothing this chest aching, this eye catching and this breathtaking. He said just only small. "Thanks,"

After what it felt like thousands of minutes flying, the whole wedding ending and all people leaving, Levi began to move and Erwin followed him like a shadow. Seeing that something's off he began, worried.

"What's wrong?"

"Why are you following me? Go to your girlfriend,"

Erwin grinned, then grabbed Levi's elbow with force but the grip was light, pulling him aside, behind the people dancing and pressing onto the first wall. "Jealous?"

"As shit that I would've been," Levi looked away, around, everywhere not to see the blue eyes reading him and falling for them.

"You are." He said totally happy with that fact. "What should I say? Kissing, hands holding right in front of my eyes?"

Levi chuckled, the annoyance boiling in his chest, throat and head. "Why would I care? He's my boyfriend," Levi then finally pulled his hand from Erwin's grip and lowered his brows, to look more serious. "You did that on purpose to make me jealous? You are really pitiful. There's no way I could get jealous over some fake girlfriend when you can't even get me out of your mind,"

Levi saw that look on his face. Something dropping, probably the confidence. He couldn't help but smirk, feeling suddenly taller than Erwin and braver than ever.

"You followed me even here," Levi sighed. "And you try to blame me for spending a good time with my boyfriend? Who do you think you are?"

Erwin sighed and that weak face expression didn't fit his face at all.

"You want to make me feel down?" He lifted his brows, the music got louder. "What? You suddenly can't speak? You want me only to yourself, huh?"

"Levi, calm down," Erwin said and his voice sounded warm. He reached with hand to Levi's hair and tugged them behind his ear with Levi not protesting. He was truly beautiful, Erwin wished to stare at him forever and touch his face more. "It's true. I want you only to myself but, it's not like I would do anything just to have you for myself.. well," He smiled and it was really hopeless. "Maybe I could. But nothing to make you feel bad,"

Levi felt his heart racing. He looked at how the hand fell to Erwin's side and didn't reach again to touch him more.

"I'm truly sorry for making you feel this way," Erwin added and this time Levi was quiet. "I just wanted to-"

"Oh, here you are," Eren suddenly said. Looking at the two of them in a weird situation. "Levi, would you mind dancing again? We barely did tonight,"

Levi glanced lastly at Erwin and then at Eren with ease in eyes. "Of course," He left, bumping at Erwin's shoulder and squeezed his hands in his own.

Eren asked the dj to change the music to little faster and then he owned Levi in his arms hugging him from behind. His chin rested on the shoulder and moving hips he asked straight to his ear, making the goosebumps appear on Levi's back. "Is everything alright?"

Levi looked up, meeting the face close to his. He glanced at the lips and pecked Eren in them simply. "Yes," He whispered with warm, fresh breath. Looking up, he saw Erwin, still there, still with that shitty expression on his face. It only annoyed Levi. How he was facing him like still there was only two of them and the distance. "Why you ask?" Levi asked but then after a word he kissed him again and again.

Eren smiled after so many kisses, it was rare from Levi to get so kissy in public place. "Not important anymore," He mumbled and made the kiss longer with his tongue.

Levi made sure that Erwin sees it. He opened his mouth making the tongue reach for him and lick his whole mouth. "You wanna go to the toilet?" 

"Levi, what happened to you?"

"Nothing," He side eyed Erwin and still, shamelessly staring at him, pulled Eren to the toilet. They locked themselves in the last cabin and Levi sucked Eren off while jerking himself and thinking about Erwin and his eyes.

"I will go find my mum,"

"Okay," Levi half smiled, watching Eren leave him alone again and then someone caught his wrist and pulled him hard. He was pressed harshly onto the wall and with the same force his lips were kissed.

"Erwin," He gasped, taken aback. "What the fuck? What if someone sees?"

"You didn't mind when everyone could hear you sucking his dick?"

"Nah, not really," He pulled away, with the breath slowly getting faster. "I think there's Eren's semen left on your lips,"

"I wanna show you something. Come,"

"What the hell," Levi mumbled but let Erwin lead him. Staring down at their hands holding even outside, even when it wasn't necessary anymore. They went behind the garden, further than that, into the forest. "Where are we going? Oh- what the fuck,"

"It was my errand," He said, letting go of Levi's small hand just to take out the sharp, black knife, Levi already had known. The errand, was the girl that some time earlier was pretending to be Erwin's girlfriend, a partner. She was lying on the ground, shaking from the cold as the fur from her shoulders was missing. Hands, legs and mouth tied tightly. The cry messed her make up, the amount of mascara in her eyes made it hard to see anymore.

"Why are you showing me this?"

Erwin didn't speak. He moved to her and with smooth move sliced her throat. Quickly, like the knife into the butter he had in the morning. 

"You are fucking sick," Levi said.

Erwin just sighed and took off the knife. Cleaned it and put into the pocket in his belt. Straightened the long legs and made few steps, closer and closer to Levi. "Why would you do that?"

"Do what?"

"That. When I was looking? Why would you do that?" Erwin was so close to him now, his voice a little rougher, a little harsher, nothing in it was soft like before, nothing was nice and pleasant. Not even the look he gave him.

"Jealous?" Levi asked, not scared.

"As fuck. I need to be the one who can hold you like this," His hands suddenly wrapped around Levi's hips and brought him close. "Who can kiss you all the time and," He sighed deeply when the sweet aroma from Levi was all on him. "I need you to be only mine,"

Levi sighed and moved hands from Erwin's chest to his neck, fingers touching the jawline. Then down again, just to feel the veins, the pulse, it was fucking fast. "How's is that?" Levi sounded light, like he forgot about everything and focused on his fingers touching Erwin's cheek and point finger nudging his upper lip.

"Am I asking too much?" Erwin asked quietly, so close to his fingers and lips they could kiss by accident.

"You want too much," Levi said and moved the head away when Erwin tried to kiss him, the lips were placed to his neck instead and he kissed it softly making Levi shake.

"Ah," He couldn't control it. Couldn't control how his fingers curled on Erwin's strong shoulders, begging for more.

"I was going crazy back there, Levi," He gasped into the warm skin of the neck and bite at the end of Levi's ear next. His whole body was so soft and seemed easy to just bite in and left nothing. "Please, be mine." He whispered a little higher.

"Nggh," Levi gasped, he couldn't control the sound as Erwin's hands moved to the inside of his thighs and shamelessly rubbed his cock with big pressure and force. It was warm and getting harder in the tight suit pants. "Erwin, I can't-, Eren is here," He gasped with legs almost melting by Erwin's touch. It was so freaking warm, his fingers were like fire, so warm, making Levi want to lose all his clothes.

"You can't? Then why do you keep moaning?" He said softly, hand rubbing his soft cock now hard and second hand opening the jacket to rub his nipple. "I know you want it. You love when I do it," He whispers and his hand, struggles but success to fit into the hole between the buttons from his shirt. The fingers reached warm nipple and rubbed it till it was hard and sensitive. The touch was so warm, Levi was the snow, Erwins hands the fire, sun and Levi's cock leaked much of the precum.

"S-stop," He said all flushed, with cheek red and heavy breath. "Erwin," The thighs squeezed around his wrist, and Levi couldn't stop his own fucking hips from riding the hand.

"You want me to stop?"

"Y-yes,"

Erwin moved step back and he wanted to laugh at how pitiful Levi looked now. His body denying his words. With huge erection in pants and crumpled shirt. "Look at you,"

Levi felt ashamed. He felt it at the tips of his ears how they burned like from the sunburn. He ended still on the ground. With back to the tree, legs wide open in front of Erwin who was thrusting into him from the front. They really fucked here, outside, in the winter, by the fucking tree and dead body next to them.

Levi was too far away in his mind to care about anything than Erwin, he just kept bumping his red cock with a fist, watching the gorgeous man in front of him, fucking him like he really meant it.

"I'm going back, fuck," Levi said, moving quickly, he was a mess already and nothing much could change. His shirt won't look good anymore and his cheeks won't lose that red shade. "Don't follow me anymore,"

"Wait," Erwin said out loud.

"What?-"

Levi just ended and Erwin kissed him deeply, long. "Please, think about it,"

And Levi left, gladly coming back to his boyfriend being really drunk. Spending time with his uncle wasn't a really good idea. He wasn't able to notice anything, as his cheeks were redder than Levi's ones.

It was around four in the morning and the party was slowly getting wrapped. There was not even one person sober in the whole place, the alcohol was out and food began to look not fresh. Eren was getting sleepy too and Levi took care of him calling the cab.

"What, are you guys leaving already?"

Levi looked up at Erwin and some people around him. There was a lost button from his shirt and a red mark on his neck.

"Yeah. Eren is tired and it's shitty now, so there's no reason for us to stay here more." Levi shrugged his shoulders and looked behind the shoulder. "Our cab is here, Eren."

"Nice. Let's get moving then," Eren stood and shook hands with Erwin, giving him a small nod with the natural smile and curled corners of his lips like a cat.

"See you around Levi," Erwin also shook Levi's hand, and when he began to walk to the car, he still didn't let go. He didn't want to. He squeezed the fingers tightly and let go only when his arm couldn't reach anymore. With Eren already inside and Levi's one foot inside, Erwin pulled him by the wrist. "Levi wait,"

"Uh, what do you want?" He said harshly maybe just because Eren was here.

"Can we talk?" He glanced at Eren, Eren at him and then at Levi.

Levi glanced at Eren then at Erwin. "Sure. But be quick,"

They couldn't talk just here. Erwin pulled him calmly behind the building, where not many could see them.

"Don't do this to me, Levi,"

His voice shook almost like from the cold but Levi knew it was from the fear.

"Do what?" His thin brow rose higher than it always does and the smile appeared how it never does. "You want me to leave him just like that just because you said so?" Levi asked with another step into his direction, also with the confidence in his voice making him look bigger.

"Yes," Erwin's eyes shook and he could build the weird tension just with the oddness of his voice. "You can't do that? You really don't feel the way I do?"

"How is it then? How you feel, Erwin? How a person like you could feel, huh?"

The blonde gulped and reached for his jaw, pulled him harshly by the chin just so it was easier for him to connect their lips together. The kiss, was stronger than Levi's will to stand, his knees bent down and Erwin caught him just in time, placing strong hands around Levi's thighs and pulling him high in the air.

"I feel like," He swallowed the thick saliva and couldn't look away from the piercing, grey gaze. "like-"

"Like what, Erwin?" Levi said harshly with fingers deep in his neck, feeling his fast pulse. He was so fucking nervous, Levi began to be too.

"Like I love you,"

Silence. 

Levi's mind went blank, eyes shaking, maybe searching for something but he saw nothing. Just the blue eyes shining at him, cold air leaving the lips and Levi counted seconds in his mind. His answer was a kiss. Sweet, long, almost feeling the same as the words he just heard. "What the fuck are you saying," He whispered with their noses rubbing against each other and lips breathing into each other, feeling like his chest couldn't bear it. 

"I love you, Levi," He repeated straight into his mouth, again staring at each other, like the words caused a shook. "Please, run away with me," He said with voice shaking, like it was his last chance to change Levi's mind. He leaned in, pushing the tongue deep inside his mouth and leaving a minute later with Levi's soft moan. "Please,"

And Levi suddenly felt so alive and so convinced. Like a shoulder shot, he felt the adrenaline flowing with his voice. "Okay,"

"Really?"

"Fuck, okay," He was standing on his own feet now just to be pushed again against the wall and sighed when the strong shoulders cut his way off by pushing them into the wall on both sides of his head.

"Before we leave, we have some things to do," The smirk suddenly appeared on Erwin's face.


	7. the knife has turned around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> firstly i would like to apologise for waiting for so long i moved on my own and now im like working everyday so it's hard but i promise i will update
> 
> secondly my laptop broke so i wrote it in notes on phone without really checking it clearly so sorry if it's shitty lol..:((

People do change.

Sometimes you just can't notice all the changes that come naturally like the wind with weather or another breath. You can't name, can't show the exact time a person has changed.

_People can change_. He wrote down. A theory Levi once made in his black leather notebook that almost reached its end. Now in a crowded supermarket, he reached for another one, squeezes it till his knuckles are white and think how could the pages be filled if his job will be lost? If his mind is already so lost?

At first, it was a question. _Do people change?_ Made years ago, when Levi was learning at university in his teenage and twenty days. The school couldn't let him answer that question. He had to answer it by himself but he was too inexperienced.

_People don't change_. He wrote years later. When he learned it by working, meeting people, having people leave him, come back and leave again.

Then things happened to move on. Like you can't tell when you will meet someone that will help your world to turn upside down, it could happen at a gas station, at the library or public bathroom in club.

_People can change_. Levi thinks. Thinks about himself. How he changed, how his thinking changed. How he one day thought _I will study hard to be the best psychiatrist, have a wedding with Eren and live a peaceful life with him_. He, as many people once before the bed thought, _I could never kill a person_. He changed cause now he.

He killed a person.

And Levi changed.

Sometime earlier, before the wedding incident.

His hair were stroked by big hand. It felt way too fucking good. Every stroke made his body shiver with thousands of goosebumps. He was between the line, where you hear and feel things around you but body is already deep sleeping. The pillow beneath his head was pair of soft thighs.

"Levi," Erwin said and it sounded so loud Levi grimaced, feeling like torn away from sleep. "Kill Eren,"

Did he dreamed of it? To be honest, lately Levi has been having weird dreams. Or rather nightmares. Hallucinations too, sometimes it was hard for him to judge, if it's real or all in his head. Most were with Erwin and blood, red, many blood. It could be a just another dream.

"Did you say something?"

Levi opened his eyes, blinked few times cause there was light on and confusion on his face and sleep in voice. He hasn't spoke in a while, hearing quietly the television, feeling Erwin, letting himself to feel calm.

"Eren. Kill him. He is the only thing that keeps me away from you,"

Levi rose up with hair messed and mark on cheek. "What?"

Erwin smiled warmly. Reached with hand to make Levi relax with his special, calming touch but Levi hit his hand away with a slap.

"I can do that if you are scared," Erwin continued being calm as the sea in the morning, as if he was blind for Levi's sudden aggressive mood change.

He was already on his feet, searching for his boots. He found them, under the sofa where Erwin kicked them to have more space where to fuck Levi. His socks were too thick so it was harder to put them on. "Think sometimes of the shit that leaves your stupid mouth,"

His mind would never accept that. It would never cross his mind, not even the imagination, of him, killing his boyfriend. So far, before Erwin, the only one person he let to be so close to him.

"Levi, wait, don't leave,"

He reached for Levi's elbow in the doors, but he had more energy today and hit him again. Holding his winter jacket in hand and grimace on face.

"Just don't talk to me, you are disgusting and too full of yourself," And he shut the doors like he meant it.

When Levi blew up, he needed some time to calm himself. After three weeks it was Erwin who took the initiative for their relationship not to end just like that in one evening.

In fact, Levi hated him for two days, but later he missed him. As fucking hell. Everyday was a hell without him. So he was easy to convince to come and meet, when Erwin came with cigarette smoke around his head and smell on his shirt. Acting like nothing happened, innocently. He was a good actor, in public speaking with highness, like a lawyer. If people knew why his car was so expensive and his head always high with chin up.

The first second he was him, he understood. Levi missed him. Simply missed cause simply he had feelings for him. But he kept it all to himself, all the emotions. He didn't show that he missed his hoarse voice and too tall body and hands that constantly tried to hold his.

"Would you mind if I take you out?" He asked later in the car. Hand resting on wheel, eyes on the younger man.

Levi sighed, leaning his cheek on his wrist, tired after nine hours of work, blinking at Erwin and the thought of bath and bed were further in the distance.

"Is there anything even open at this hour?"

"I will take that as a yes,"

He smiled proudly and moved right feet on the gas. Driving through the empty streets he parked near a light led sign and was quick to open doors for Levi.

"What is this all?" He chuckled ironically, stepping outside into the cloud of Erwin's cologne and breath. "Do you need pills or something?"

Erwin just smiled, worth a day of warm sun, closing the doors and walking next to Levi. Their shoulders bumping, arms touching, hands almost holding. "It's nothing like that,"

The blonde thought with small smirk on his wide face. Pulling chair for Levi and then handing him card.

"It's on my treat, take what you want,"

"Fine," Levi just shrugged his shoulders, the menu card covering his whole face. Erwin watched him instead. Observing now only the small fingers holding leather card, flipping dirty pages and sighing when their eyes met.

"You're acting weird," Levi commented once again, sipping black tea he got. "Stop staring at me like that," He then said out loud.

Erwin's breath was taken aback. He inhaled the air into his lungs with not ease, wrist glued to his cheek and eyes needed to blink but he didn't let them. "Like what?"

He couldn't name that. Maybe people around, who happened to watch them two, would see love, devotion and trust in Erwin's eyes. Levi was too scared to name that shitty, soft like sponge look.

"Like a creep,"

Erwin just smiled, sometimes could laugh shortly, even when Levi said nothing funny and would just continue to stare.

"I was thinking about you,"

He sounded out of breath. Like all the staring at man in front of him was in fact like a big distance marathon. Maybe every breath hurt, his chest rose so high, then fall down quickly, like a stone to the water.

Levi suddenly felt hot. I was too.

"Yeah? And what you thought about?"

Erwin smiled wider but nicer, wrinkles on his forehead appeared, brows melted. "I missed you. We shouldn't have breaks like that,"

"Yeah, guess why we had one,"

They cut it like that, with Erwin taking a sip of his water and ordering a food finally. Acting like the offer of killing person was never mentioned in this world.

"My life is empty without you," Erwin would lean closer again, as the waitress disappeared, closer with stare deep like sky and demanding for god knows what. He leaned on the old table, lowering his voice having Levi listen well. In fact he wants only for Levi to hear. If could, he would crawl under table, and kneeling on unwashed floor whisper it all for him. "I miss you sleeping in my bedroom, walking around apartment with just my shirt on. Having your perfumes all over my clothes,"

That tiny ray of smile forming on Levi's lips had disappeared.

"Your good morning's and good night's. Voice, touch, everything I need I have here," He squeezed the hand he was holding, tiny, soft as cloud hand. No one in whole restaurant could tell in how grief Erwin is.

"I would like to quickly remind you, you are the reason why I'm absent. Why you have to sleep alone in that big ass bed and jerk off with dead bodies hands." He pointed a finger at the man, with left hand cause the other one was fine being held.

"I know. But it won't ever happen again-"

Levi chuckled, so harsh, making a waitress look in their direction.

"We both know it's a lie, Erwin,"

"I promise. Just give me last chance." He squeezed the small hand, too strong cause Levi gave him a grimace.

"Wasn't the last time the last chance?" Levi tried to have his second hand back but in vain. "When you promised to stop acting like a jealous freak? You forgot where you are. That you are a secret, a second option. Someone I go to when my boyfriend is fucking boring,"

"Levi, I-"

"You are nothing compared to him,"

Erwin shut his lips, something dropped making the blue colour a little lighter, like it has lost the sparkle and the stars. It was just empty sky now. "Do you really feel like that?"

Levi said nothing. His eyes dropped to a stain on the table.

"What can I do to have you back? I already waited three weeks. It was the worst time in my life."

The hand suddenly dropped. A dish was placed in the place where their hands fell apart and words to stop for a time.

Erwin kept his mouth shut, thinking about something where Levi struggled where to say or not to say how he really feels. Deep inside.

"It's pathetic. Pretty fucking pathetic, cause after all that sick shit, I still.." Levi grabbed fork and pushed it harshly into noodles. "Miss you too, yeah, fuck," He said looking down and playing with fork.

Erwin smiled inside, outside still held that shitty expression, as Levi calls it.

"Let's just be together, like we were,"

Levi gave him just a stare, mouth full of food and chest some pounds lighter. Thinking back, at what happened so far he really had trust issues for Erwin and his fucked up obsession and jealousy. But staring at that fool blonde, his heart still kept beating faster.

"Just give me a break, I'm tired of this shit," Levi took finally some more to his empty stomach, the smell coming from the kitchen was awful. "Oi, you took me to this dirty place. You could do better,"

Erwin chuckled and rubbed the soft skin of Levi's that he reached for again. "I'm sorry. I'm certain that anything but fast foods are open after eleven,"

"Fine. We will talk about it later. I'm too tired to think about all that crappy mess,"

They ate, with Levi being all grumpy and complaining that eating this late is unhealthy with Erwin's legs under the table wrapped around his ones.

Even this late the night was warm and small walk could be romantic and pleasing but Levi just really wanted to-

"Can you take me finally home? I'm tired as shit,"

"Wait,"

"What again?"

He got his lips quickly shut with Erwin's.

Standing in the middle of way, with broken lamp above them Levi kissed him back. Fingers rubbed the skin on jawline, knowing well where it ends or where it gets sharper.

"You bastard," Levi murmured under nose, taller man stealing another kiss from him and making his heart race, by accident. Nothing changed within these week.

He still tasted good, not like the food, like freshly brushed teeth, bathed and some mint gums. It was something about Erwin that made Levi stand on tippy toes and kiss him harder.

He simply was attracted to Erwin's good hygiene and how he takes care of even the smallest of things about himself.

"You think you changed?" Levi asks, three kisses later. The amusement came from somewhere and stayed in his voice.

"My words hurt you and I never wanted to." His eyes were covered in tiredness too. "I can't live without you," Thumb caressed skin and if it would be a romantic movie they would kiss again and everything would end happily.

"I'm not sure if I believe you anymore. I'm tired, really. It all makes me wanna throw up,"

"Levi," He gets closer, bigger, hoovering over Levi. Could crush him in one second but he feels soft now. "Trust me,"

His pupils shook like crazy, trying to read between the lines or in his eyes for the answer.

Levi is weak cause it's something people call love. He might be a fool, saying it's all enough or it's not a big deal but it's not so easy to let go of a person your heart begs for to be with.

The love is really shitty thing. Listening to it almost everyday. Cheating. Cheating. Physical abuse. Alcoholism. Polygamy. Who even invented this?

He thought quietly in the back of his head as fingertips rubbed vein that popped up on Erwins arm, later, when they are driving to Levi's home, using a longer route to have more time for thoughts.

"Im sorry for everything," Erwin whispered on red lights, feet pressed onto brake.

As Levi didn't answer he glanced at him. He was staring somewhere in front of him, at the black sky and flashing lights. As he said before, it all make him want to throw up.

Levi wished for things to be easier at once, at his life to be less complicated.

Feeling eyes on him he finally glanced back, expressionless and tired. "Mnm."

Erwin saw even more then that, sadness and disappointment in grey, sparkles eyes. He leaned and pressed small kiss on Levi's forehead covered with his thin hair. He may whisper something into the skin, Levi didn't get that.

He was really tired for that hour, for long day after him. Levi was able to fall asleep in that short time.

When he woke up it was dark everywhere, a blanket was wrapped around his body and he was sweaty. Seeing that he felt asleep in his work clothes he grimaced and tore the thick blanket from him.

Just after a quick glance still with sleepy eyes he recognised the bedroom that belonged to Erwin. Yet, he wasn't here and it was so quiet Levi doubted if he was at home at all.

Inhaling a smell of clean room he left it, seeing Erwin lying on the couch, snoring quietly as he sit with the television playing quietly in the background. He was deep in sleep, tired, also in the clothes Levi saw him before. That too big shirt mixed with cigarettes and cologne.

Levi scratched the back of his neck, thinking if he should let him sleep and just leave. It was quite a ride from here and the buses probably aren't driving at three in the morning.

He took himself a glass of cool water and sat at the edge of long, grey sofa. He was quiet as a mouse, taking sip after sip to his wet his dry throat but Erwin still managed to wake up feeling his presence.

"You woke up," He said with voice hoarse and sleepy smile.

"Why did you bring me here? Wasn't I clear saying I want you to drive me to my place?" Levi sounded annoyed but his voice was quiet as if there was third person sleeping.

"I didn't want to wake you up," He simply said, the small smile didn't leave his face as he grew closer to Levi.

Levi didn't know what to say. Somehow it feels like everything is planned by Erwin. It was planned by him just for Levi to end up in here.

He was absent in here for a while. It was bigger than his, had more rooms yet Erwin always kept it perfect clean just how Levi liked it. He wasn't feeling his best in here. Even Erwin, he mentioned few times, he didn't feel like in home.

Glancing shortly at the blonde, with his hair usually in perfect state but now messed by his nap, Levi felt the anger slowly leaving his chest. After all, Erwin lend him his full bedroom while he occupied the sofa by his own.

"I have nothing to wear," He complained simply. Ready to stay for the rest of the odd night.

Of course Erwin quickly found solution, offering Levi any of the clothes that hanged in his wardrobe. "What about this one?" He held the rounded part of the hanger with black, short sleeved top hanging down.

Levi didn't remember Erwin wearing this any time. He nodded shortly and after on felt warm material between his fingers.

"Underwear too?"

Levi just nodded.

"Ah," Erwin's eyes twinkled as he opened the cabinet. "It seems like I have some of your underwear still here."

"Why would you keep it?"

"I just forgot to gave it back to you,"

Levi accepted that answer taking a white pair of his underwear and left for the shower.

He left the shower no less than five minutes later with the ends of his black hair wet, the droplets falling to his thighs and floor.

"Aren't you taking a shower?" He asked in the living room where Erwin was. The top was hanging till his mid thigh and was way too long in sleeves.

"I will," He answered warmly, as he approached Levi, he rubbed the ends of hair in between his slender fingers. "Let me tuck you to sleep,"

Levi gave him a face, rather displeasing one, with his thin brows lowered and lips stretched in straight line but he had no other intentions behind it as he allowed Erwin to open sheets for him and fix one pillow.

"I will wake you up in the morning," He sat near Levi, already tucked under warm sheets, he covered the half of his face with it.

They glanced at each other in silence, chilly wind blew through open window and Erwin was about to stand and leave when Levi started.

"Where will you sleep?"

Erwin half smiled and wanted to reach for Levi, as in habit, to fix his hair, to take them aside and kiss the small forehead to sleep.

"Don't worry, I will not interrupt you," He almost whispered, half smiling like he couldn't stop it every time he was near Levi.

Levi seemed as he was to say something, the sheets moved a little down to uncover his lips but after a while he stayed silent.

Erwin fixed his smile and stood. "Have a good night, Levi,"

He left his own bedroom and within few or more minutes Levi could hear running water and then he remembered nothing more but speaking in sleep.

"Erwin," He said so quietly no one probably could hear. Like kid, in the middle of night, scared of monster under the bed, calling for parents.

Erwin came. Later. With just bottom part of his pyjama and his hair wet, dark.

Levi sighed, taking the warm, smelling like Erwin sheets aside and standing on his knees. He made two holes in the mattress and began to lift his shirt up, showing stomach, then chest and hair fell down to its place.

Erwin stared at him quietly, it was broke only by the door closing behind his back and two small steps close to the bed.

"Did you meant it? I'm your second choice?" He whispered, sounded hurt but eyes watched Levi's collar bones and belly button.

He didn't answer. Just came closer, kissing Erwin sweetly and deep. Their tongues pushing at each other with pressure and loud breathing. His back landed on the mattress and big fucking body crushed him down. His nails sank in his wide back, thick skin, still fresh from the shower, smelling incredibly good and still warm. Bodies grinding against each other, lips acting like animals with first meat.

"Quick, please, Erwin," He begged, with toes curling and cock already pulsing. Erwin's hand taking his pants off and the cock entered him dry, raw, how he liked to feel him. Cause seconds later Erwin could leak and it would be so smooth.

"Fuck," Erwin cursed, with voice hoarse, couldn't control how terribly it shook. Two small hands were curled around his shoulders, holding onto the moving body entering him and thrusting deeply.

Erwin's wet hair stuck to his forehead, the bed squeaked loudly and he felt his back bleeding. His hips moving forward and back with natural smoothness.

Then those hallucinations came.

It was one evening at Erwin's, where Levi ended work quicker just to spend time with him. He was positively surprised by the table in kitchen. It had candles on it, with empty plates and two empty glasses for the wine he quickly forgot about his work.

Erwin began to cook the fish he choose for Levi's favourite dish, with quiet music playing softly in the background. The light feeling was placed on top of his stomach as he loved the smell and the light coming from candles in darkened kitchen by dark clouds.

"Well," He began, since he hasn't complimented Erwin yet. The wine already flew in his glass when he moved it to his lips and took a tiny sip. "Not bad,"

Erwin watched his reddish lips being brought back to it's pinkish hue as he licked the sour taste. Then he took the longer, black hair behind his ear and couldn't stop a small smile.

Taller person approached him even closer, chest bumping at each other, his blueish shirt perfectly clean even after cooking. "You are beautiful," Was all he whispered after staring at his guest for longer than whole evening.

Two fingers caresses Levi's pale cheek, soft hair and then felt softer lips with his own.

He could still taste the wine there, thirsty suddenly his tongue made some moves inside the mouth and tasted even more sour taste.

Levi felt his knees getting weaker as the strong arm held him by his jawline and led one kiss to ten rougher and hungrier.

"I'm almost done with the fish and noodles," He whispered simply as tip of nose rubbed the smaller one of Levi's.

Levi insisted for another kiss, receiving now only small pecks as Erwin's thoughts were back to the pan and the sizzle.

He let go of him, feeling somehow empty as he sat in front of the candle. It warmed his face as he got too close and closed his eyes, eyelashes shadowing his cheeks.

Glancing at wide shoulders of Erwin he sighed. It alarmed him, despite being close to the loud pan. He turned around and asked warmly.

"What's wrong?"

What's wrong? What's not wrong could be a simpler question.

Levi only reached for his glass, took a bigger sip and then said. "You did this, am I right? You did something to my car and then to Katrine and you did something to Eren,"

Erwin sighed, turning off the stove. It suddenly became really quiet.

"Where is he?"

"In my bathroom," Erwin said rubbing the bridge of his nose like the heat from pan was too burning.

"Dead?" He asked after a short while.

Erwin seemed like he was thinking really hard, just to recall it. "Yeah. I think so," He said with brows down and mixed emotions on his large face.

The sound of oil on pan was suddenly so loud Levi felt like woken from a deep sleep. He blinked twice, thrice seeing Erwin's back and hand moving on the pan. "It's almost ready," He said under his nose but loud enough for Levi to hear it.

When he turned around the smile was resting on soft lips, he wiped his large hands into the white, fluffy towel and took a sip of his wine. "Levi, are you alright?"

Levi blinked away the expression he held, starled and absent. "Yeah," He said still somehow taken aback. Erwin noticed it, kneeling in front of the chair and keeping himself steady by hands on Levi's knees. "If there's anything wrong, tell me, kay?" He rubbed the fabric both with Levi's slender knees and then stood up. "Help me now, will you?"

Erwin was a great cook. He could do a dish like this one with ease, with ease how the fish melted in Levi's mouth and the wine was good too, one glass was fine and two next ones were even better. Levi felt his head swing when he stood from the chair and after few sloppy steps he landed on two wide thighs.

"I can tell you liked it," Erwin hummed under nose but his words were eaten by Levi's soft and tasty lips. Kissing him suddenly a fire grew in his chest, giving enough warm to his cheeks and neck that appeared more reddish now.

Two hands fell to Levi's back, ten fingers rubbing the end of his back and feeling roundy hips. Erwin then reached to the end of his thighs and brought him quickly closer making their noses crush and kiss go deeper.

Levi felt his neck burning when warm breath wrapped around it and kissed way from all his sensitive spots to the behind of his ear. "You feel so good," Erwin gasped like he couldn't hold those words like a moan. His hands feeling and squeezing every inch of Levi's bottom. Pinching, pushing hands and feeling how Levi wiggles his small hips there.

"Bedroom," Was all Levi said, sounding not like him.

His body been thrown onto the wide bed, well settled and so comfortable. The black jeans with one move left his legs, chilly air leaving goosebumps on the pale skin.

The mattress bent from Erwin's weight as he pressed knees into it, losing the buttons and then the perfect shirt got crumbled somwehwere on the ground. "Fuck," Levi gasped as Erwin pressed his whole weight on him, his chest was so warm Levi couldn't complain. "You gained weight," He whispered as the pair of two hands wandered around wide back, to rounded at the end tummy but still covered with visible muscles. Before Erwin could react anyhow ten nails were stuck into his back. "You are fucking hot,"

Next words were muffled by desperate kisses and moving on the bed, clothes were left in every corner of room and Levi felt dizzy, his whole head spinning as he moved forward and back, doing small circles with his hips as his whole bottom was placed messily on Erwin's face.

He looked up, at the celling spinning he couldn't close his mouth. Felt his throat getting dry, the warm breaths leaving his parted lips once a three seconds with shaky and weak moans. "E-h, Erwin," He straightened his back, pushed hips forward, the leaking cock thrusting into emtpty air. "I'm coming, shit,"

Erwin was a great lover. He would take care of Levi so well, after long time of being together, being together in this messy, kind of relationship,he knew his most sensitive places. He could also last very long, keeping his cock hard he could take Levi for the half of the night with different positions and ways to make him moan in five different sweet tones.

Later in the warm bath at four in the morning Levi found himself locked in tight embrace. Looking in front he could only see Erwin's long legs getting out of the tub and the water dripping from it's skin covered in light hairs.

He moved, messing their position. The water moved and now he realised how cold it already became. "We felt alseep,"

Erwin was a good person. Levi once thought, maybe now too, as he was being carried to the bedroom. Sheets still smelled like their sex and sweat but both were too tired to change it.

Levi lied on top of him, fingers making circles on the stomach. He still had that one question in his head.

Erwin was a great person.

Levi went quietly on his toes to the bathroom, fifteen minutes later, even here he could hear Erwin's loud snoring. Maybe that's why Levi had problem with falling asleep.

He took a quick piss, with eyes half closed he was ready to go back to the bed when something caught his gaze.

It was a bin for dirty clothes. The sleeve was hanging from it with really big red stain on the fabric. Levi got closer, opening the bin for the shirt that used to be white was now bloody red, stinking and oh. It was Eren's one.

He squeezed his eyes and then it was gone.

Then he understood that the only way to be free from it all was to kill Eren.

It wasn't his first kill. He killed once.

"Can you open the doors when I'm knoc-" Levi froze. Erwin wasn't alone. There was a mess everywhere, the only one painting in the whole apartment was now crushed on the floor. He saw Erwin on the floor with someone atop of him, beating the shit out of him. The noises were terrifying, making Levi's hands froze but legs moved forward.

The floor cracked and both gazed at him now. Levi glanced quickly at the man then at Erwin who pointed at the shelf with the movement of his eyes.

Levi understood quickly and reached to the shelf, opening it he saw a gun there. With shaky hands he held the heavy gun and when man was about to run into him he shoot quickly, not really knowing what he was doing.

"Fuck," He said and the gun dropped the same with the man with loud hook. "Fuck, Erwin," He dropped to his knees seeing a knife stuck in his shoulder.

"Levi," He gasped out of breath. "Levi, so good you are here," He half smiled, always found a energy to do that.

"What the fuck happened,"

"I was followed by someone.." He reached for his shoulder and whole face twisted in pain. "That's why I want to run away from here, Levi. It's no longer safe,"

"Great. You really are the worst, you will get yourself killed you fucking idiot," Levi said with voice still shaky, kneeling down to help Erwin lift himself. The blood dripped from his brow down to his cheek.

"Gladly you came just in time," He sighed and drowned in grey eyes when he saw glossy worry there. "Again," He looked down at his parted lips being close to him, breathing at him quickly and unsteady.

"You are one lucky bastard," Levi reached with tissue to the brow and pressed it lightly before it could go to his eye.

"Lucky to have you," Erwin said quietly and Levi swallowed the saliva. The tissue was already sunk in blood so he threw it aside.

"Look at you, you have no shame," Levi felt a hand reaching for his cheek and it was really cold. "Getting beat up like a fucking pussy,"

Erwin laughed loudly and his hand dropped to Levi's thigh. "Spare me please. I always tried to show myself from the best side in front of you,"

"I think I saw only your worst sides," Levi sighed and took away the blonde hair that got stuck to the blood. Erwin grimaced when Levi touched the purplish cheekbone.

"Fuck it hurts like hell," He gasped after staring at Levi for too long and he pressed the bruise to make him stop.

"Stay here. I will go to the pharmacy to make it heal quickly,"

"Thank you," Erwin said and Levi put him on the bed. Blinking he leaned down staring at the lips the lower lip was swollen. Then he moved away and left him.

He closed the doors shut with keys borrowed from Erwin so he could be safe at least for a while. It passed five minutes and Levis back was still pressed to the doors, fingers in his hair and hands on his face. He couldn't stop the shaking from his body, he just killed someone. A stranger, someone with family maybe, everyone has a family, he pulled the trigger so thoughtlessly.

"How many times did we end up like this? With you beaten up like shit and me taking care of it," Levi said with warm fabric in his hand, some thirty minutes later with face like it never has emotions. He pressed it to the face and Erwin squinted his eyes slightly.

"It's only second time, Levi,"

"For second time too many. You know too many dangerous people you know? And you suck and fighting,"

"He followed me and attacked from behind," Erwin said, seeming down, trying to justify himself and Levi made a face. He placed plaster on his brow and then looked at the ripped lip.

He let a few droplets on it and packed it with point finger. "Can you take off that shirt?"

Erwin nodded quietly and the fabric felt to his lap. Everything was so dirty, one laundry won't wash it away. Levi sighed at the view, deep feeling sat on his chest, with huge, sweaty torso trying to keep his gaze only at the cut on shoulder.

He noticed that Erwin was down, he didn't speak and didn't move more when Levi was pressing on the open wound. "Should I sew it?"

Erwin glanced at him quickly and it dropped again somewhere to the carpet. "Can you?"

"I don't know. I never sew skin but I think it's necessary with that," Levi flinched on his knees and moved closer to the muscular arm. "We should just go to the hospital,"

"It's unnecessary,"

"You never want to," Levi sighed, shifting, getting closer and Erwin looked away again. "It's not like they would know who you are," He shifted again, step closer, breath leaving his nostrils was warming Erwin’s collarbones.

"Try to sew it like that. I trust you,"

"Fine,"

Levi came back moment later, getting closer to Erwin than ever. "Okay. Let's do it then," He tied a small knot and stuck the needle under the thick, gold skin. Pulled, stuck and pulled again.

"Is it okay?" He asked softly and unsure.

Erwin only nodded. He was getting pale.

"It's so wrong," Levi commented with shaky hands. "But I hope it will work,"

"Thank you, Levi,"

"Go and take a shower now? I will clean this place a little," Levi looked around. "He made such a mess," He. Levi remembers the face of a man he killed and then dragged to the furthest room from here, having his blood on his hands.

"You don't have to,"

"I will. Just go and wash that blood from you," Levi helped him to stood, walked him to the bathroom and watched the man lost all his clothes. "If you need any help.. shout,"

"Damn, I really feel like shit when I'm with you. I really don't feel like a murderer anymore when you treat me like that," He smiled weakly, it was small and rather not natural one.

"Yeah, but you are, don't forget that,"

The doors closed and Levi could hear the water running. He cleaned the rooms, trying to keep his mind busy. He made the bed for Erwin, with fresh sheets, worrying that he won't be able to take care of him for the whole time.

His bones cracked, muscles relaxed when he laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling. "Erwin, what's taking you so long," He let out, bored and annoyed.

"Sorry, I couldn't find a reason to call you in there," He said, opening the doors making the steam leave bathroom like a ghost. There was a bruise forming on his cheek and Levi almost felt pity for him if not the lack of shirt.

"I came here just for the dinner and I still got nothing,"

"It's true, I'm sorr-"

"Let's just call for something, pizza or shit,"

"Why? You hate food like this,"

"Yeah, but you won't do shit in a state like this,"

The blonde sat next to him, with fresh jumper in his hands and Levi loved how he smelled with shampoo.

"Did you looked into the mirror? Your eye is getting more and more swollen,"

"It kinda hurts," He said with the right eye slightly closed, maybe tomorrow he will have problems with seeing on this side. Levi sighed, moving closer and couldn't control the small sadness forming in the shade of his grey eyes, getting more glassy.

"Look at you. You poor fucking thing," He sighed and felt sorry for him, it may be what he deserves for everything he did but Levi couldn't feel different. The thumb caressed slowly the cheekbone and circled the skin.

"Levi," Erwin said quietly.

"What?" Levi said back, also quiet and powerless.

"I'm sorry," He felt Levi's knee on his thigh. "I'm sorry for making you worry. I feel really like shit, you know? I always try to show my best side and here you are seeing me at my worst,"

Levi just blinked after hearing such a hurt tone. "It's fine. I'm glad you're okay. That all that matters now, right?" Fingers traced the cheek down to lips and the lower lip was still in half and swollen, looking really bad.

"I really might get killed without you," Nothing could break the intensity between their eyes now. "Never leave me,"

Levi sighed. Such a big words at five in the evening.

"You killed a man," He reminded him. For what reason? It maybe will never leave Levi's chest, maybe he will feel the weight, the heaviness of what he did for the rest of his days.

"He almost killed you,"

"So you will kill for me too?"

"Open your mouth," Levi directed him with quiet and soft voice. Erwin did as he was told, ignoring the question.

Levi took the upper lip in between his lips, kissing it once and sucking at the end. When he was about to let go Erwin moved his lips and fully kissed Levi.

"Doesn't it hurt?" He asked quietly, fingers rubbing the sharp jawline and felt hand curling at his hip.

"It's fine. Even if it hurts, I can't help but to kiss you," He gasped and looked really hilarious with that lip. Levi couldn't help but to chuckle. "Don't laugh," He cut him off and pressed nose to his, lips crushing against each other again in deep kiss and saliva getting sticky.

The fingers curled under his shirt, touching muscled stomach and felt it vibrating. "I'm really hungry," Levi gasped and his feet rubbed against Erwin's calf. "Let's call it first, okay,"

"Mmm," Erwin nodded, fingers squeezing more warm body. 

Levi grabbed the phone, searched for number and sat some place further from Erwin to stop him from getting any further. Just like that they ate the whole box, with a body bleeding on perfectly white tiles.

Levi won't forget this day. How it all seemed like a normal day, in his small flat, in his small, smelling like spices, kitchen. With apron around his waist, cologne around his neck and darkness outside the open window. With a melody leaving his closed mouth as he checked on the sauce to the pasta. With his hips, swaying to the imaginary melody in his head, as he moved to the sink, to the table and to Eren.

"It's almost ready," He said lightly, with smile on his face and then pressing it to mark Eren's cheek. ”Sit down, just. I will make everything,"

Eren's eyes were a size bigger, with smile that made his face look like he was in a small, pleasing shook. "What happened to you? My Levi who never cooks?"

"Shut up," He cut him with a sharp smile and when he turned around, showing his back to Eren, the smile faded away. He took the plates out, remembering that Eren's one is the right one, with leaves of basil on the top.

"Looks great," Eren said, taking the fork and not waiting for Levi to sit down.

"Then tell me how it taste," Levi said, sitting down heavily and holding a fork next to his lips. He watched Eren closely, trying to see any difference in his behaviour. If he could smell something different.

"Wow," He chuckled and Levi almost stood up. "It's really good," He continued with small chuckle and fork disappeared in his mouth. Again. Again. Again.

Levi count every bite, every noodle leaving his plate into his mouth.

He looked down, at his untouched plate, he had no appetite all of sudden. "Eren?" He asked, watching him. His head was down, fork still in hand. Then suddenly it fell down, he grabbed his collar and began to choke. "Eren?" He still didn't answer, he couldn't, he was choking, couldn't stop coughing.

Levi swallowed thickly his saliva, taking out the phone, hearing three signals and then put it back to his pocket.

"L-Levi?" He choked out, already on his legs. "Hel-help me, please, give me water," He choked out.

"The water won't help you," A third voice said.

"How much longer? He's in pain," Levi said with a voice in a deep worry.

"Not much longer, Levi. He ate a lot. It should end soon," Erwin said calmly, watching the man falling to his knees and reaching for his neck.

"Fuck," Levi gasped, glancing at Erwin. "I can't look at it,"

Eren finally dropped to his knees, chest hitting the floor with such a loud hook like something broke in there. Neighbours floor down could hear it.

"It's done. Levi-" Erwin turned around and Levi wasn't here. He sighed, going to the bedroom where he closed the doors. "Levi," He said in a soft voice.

"I can't believe I did something like this. Fuck- I killed him because of you,"

"You agreed. I didn't made you do that,"

Levi blinked. "But I feel better when I blame it on you. Things would never be like this if I haven't meet you,"

Erwin smiled weakly. His thigh sat at the edge of the bed and hand tried to reach for Levi hand. "You are right. But we met, will you ever change that?" His fingers massaged Levi's hand. "I understand your sorrow, I had the same feeling at first but-"

"It won't even happen again! I'm not like you,"

Erwin smiled again. He got closer to Levi. "You are right. It's my job, I won't let your hands get dirty," He grabbed the small hands, smelling them then kissing. "I promise to show you, your choice was worth it."

"Yeah? Fuck, how?"

Erwin sighed, owing Levi's face in his one hand and kissed him deeply and long. Sweet and so deep Levi had problem to catch a breath. Then he caught him in tight embrace so Levi could calm down and never leave.

"What if someone will find out?"

"Don't worry about it. I have people for it,"

"You have people. Does it always come so easy for you?"

"Levi, he was your boyfriend. I kill people I don't know. Mostly, the people are bad too."

"I cant believe I killed him.. I really did that,"

"Everything will change from now on. I have you and there's nothing else that holds me to stay here," His hands caressed his jawline and Levi rose on his wings closer to Erwin. Forgetting for two seconds of his boyfriend lying dead on kitchen floor. Maybe still choking, maybe still breathing with pulse in his veins. "We will move out. Far away from here. Just you and me,"

"What the hell am I doing?" Levi asked under his nose, kissing Erwin and letting him touch his ribs.

"What your heart wants. Don't deny it,"

They laid down, with Erwin kissing Levi's neck wetly when Levi pushed him away. "Please, I don't want to do it with him in the kitchen,"

Erwin chuckled, hand squeezing Levi's thigh and nodding. "I will get rid of everything. You, you pack,"

"What should I pack?"

"Not much,"


	8. partners in crime

_Not to pack much, huh._

Levi mumbled under the nose, with two suitcases open, both his. He wasn't sure where and why he is here, in a different city, at the hotel room that smelled like old furnitures and whenever he looked out of the window a breathtaking line of mountains reaching the sky welcomed his sight. Somehow a restless feeling was sitting at the bottom of his stomach like a father in his favourite armchair.

It's been crazy how quickly things changed and how there wasn't a turn back. How he met a stranger, a blue eyed stranger, so charismatic that in a room full of people, he would still find him. The stranger quickly became someone so important that Levi's mind couldn't decide what is good for him anymore, what his heart told him was stronger than his open mind. He followed the fast beating heart, deciding to leave everything behind and go forward, to follow the stranger. It wasn't like him, nothing that happened lately was like him. Looking into the mirror, with eyes darker, hair longer and neck bruised, Levi couldn't tell if he's looking at his own reflection. With people he knew, left in his home town, nothing will be just how it used to be, nothing will be normal and Levi maybe will accept it. Maybe he will like it. His new self. His new life.

Right now he felt sick after a long flight, felt back hurting from the stiff chair in the bus and uncomfortable with the hotel room that had a mirror right above the bed. The sheets looked dirty too so he took them off and in hour felt like in his own flat. Or just pretended to feel like that. 

Erwin was gone for a long time now. He said not much, not even when he will come back, if he ever intended to. Maybe he will never come back? Maybe it was all his plan? Maybe-

Deep sigh. Levi volumed the radio station, trying to put those thoughts aside and unpack himself in peace.

Now, the story won't end just here, with Erwin making Levi go crazy, fall in love with him, lost his loved ones and then just left him in a strange country with white people with a thick accent. He came back, really late, with hair little messier and lack of tie in his collar and Levi never felt happier to see him in that bizarre doorway with clear air. 

"Where the fuck have you been," That's how he expressed his happiness.

"I told you I had things to do," He closed doors behind him, to the room that seemed bigger than Levi's whole flat. It was night time in here while the time in his phone showed that the morning just began. "Did you unpacked everything?"

Levi glanced around. "Yeah, I think so,"

"Good," He hummed, grey jacket leaving his shoulders, straight to the carpet and in few seconds Erwin made a mess Levi cleaned earlier. His body always in good shape moved closer to the smaller one, like magnets pulling at each other. "But that was unnecessary. We will leave tomorrow,"

"Leave where?" He asked quickly and harshly.

"Even further from here," Erwin made some more steps, losing shoes by the short walk. He was taller than Levi always, hand rested on his shoulder just to crawl to cold cheek and rub it. "Where would you like to?"

"I would like to know where I am now,"

"It's a small city in France. I had one thing to do in here," 

"And that-"

His mouth couldn't continue. Erwin kissed him deeply, with nose crushing his cheek and heels leaving the carpet. Tasting just like him, like no one else. Levi made a step backwards and Erwin caught his sweet lips in a deeper kiss. He liked to cut him off like that, to stop asking questions on things he would never answer. 

"And that it's nothing important. Where would you like to go? To live?" He asked with voice low, their breathings still mixing and suddenly it got hotter. The closeness of their bodies was nothing new, it's like their blood was flowing through one long vein straight to one heart. 

"Live?"

"I want you-, I want us to lead a new, better life," 

"And you think changing locations will make it all up?"

He shook head a little, shyly but words were confined. "No. But we should start somewhere,"

Levi was silent. Listening, processing everything and just trying to focus on words instead of kissing lips he craved for a lot. 

"We need time," Erwin calmed him, his left hand on Levi's round hip and another hand on his cheek, down to the long neck, fingers touching some sensitive spots. He was touchy and Levi would never complain about all the fingerprints he left on his body. "We have a lot of time, Levi. To make things how they always should be. With just you and me, forgetting about things, about people we left there,"

Levi blinked. His own hands on Erwin's chest. Staring at how small they were here. It's been only a few days since they left Levi's town, since he lost his work, his friends, boyfriend, contact with relatives. 

"Can you agree with me?"

"I agree we need time,"

Erwin smirked, leaning for another small kiss. Levi tasted sweet and innocent. Unsure too, so to encourage him more, Erwin rubbed their noses together. 

"I will give you as much time as you need," He whispered to his lips like another kiss, this one tasted and sounded better than others. Small hands wrapped around the strong neck like a monkey and Erwin pulled Levi to the bathroom. 

"Do you like it here?" He asked some moments later, with shaving cream on his rough cheeks, lacking some parts of clothing and behind his reflection in the mirror was Levi at the edge of the tub, his feet not reaching for the cold tiles.

"The view is nice," Levi said simply and Erwin couldn't not to smile. At his nice voice, at his small posture and innocence just in being. Not being aware of his cuteness. 

"A pity we can't stay longer here," Erwin added, pulling a blade through his cheek.

"Why can't we? Are we such in a hurry?" Levi asked, watching his back and reflection. Whenever their eyes have met in the mirror they twinkled with excitement. 

"I prefer not to stay longer in here," He washed the blade, made another quick cut and looked at his partner. "It might get dangerous,"

Levi just rolled his eyes, coming closer and hearing the clean sound of sharp blade against his gold skin. "Your wounds healed?" 

"Some of them," 

He then felt cold hands on his warm skin, touching everywhere. Under pits, ribs, back. It was all covered in marks, smaller, bigger ones, deeper, some still not healed. Erwin was really an interesting person, Levi always thought. He has gone through a lot in life but he barely showed it, he barely shows if he's hurt, angry, happy. He's just how he is. Full of secrets and surprises.

Later, in a warm atmosphere with them always having something to say to each other, Levi helped Erwin to have a nice bath. 

He rubbed his stiff shoulders with soapy hands and blew warm air to his ear. "Why are your shoulders so tensed?" He said quietly, the thumbs pressed into his neck and the whole hand moved again, squeezing hard skin. "Relax,"

Erwin closed his eyes and the warm tone of Levi's voice made his whole, big body had a thousand of goosebumps. The corners of his lips curled slightly even when there was something that couldn't just let go from his chest. 

"I'm trying," He said with a voice hoarse.

Levi rolled eyes, hands leaving his back, going for neck, straightening them in elbows and reaching for his stomach. It was warm, full of muscles and Levi's fingers traced them. 

"Try harder," He said still straight to his ear, lips wetting the lobe and then leaving a kiss.

He heard deep sigh leaving Erwin's lips, shoulders relaxing just a little and his legs opened slightly. A small smirk appeared on his lips and he kissed the small vein on the temple, hand going lower, into still warm water. 

"What happened today? You can tell me,"

"Mgh," Erwin muffled when two hands began to stroke his soft cock. "Not important," 

He opened his eyes when Levi stopped, looking aside at his expression. "Levi," Erwin sighed, moving closer to him and the water moved harshly. "We leave tomorrow and won't even look back at things," His wet hand moved black hair aside and stared at his lips up close. "Let's go to bed, I want to be closer to you,"

He sighed and moved. "Fine,"

"Why is there a mirror on the ceiling?" Levi asked with head hitting the soft pillow, looking up at himself. Then at Erwin and seeing a smirk on his wide face. 

"I think I know why," 

Their lips connected in shorter than two seconds, gasping, Levi curled his legs and added tongue between small kisses. His lips were small, barely open and Erwin couldn't take it longer of how he made the things hard to achieve. 

"So innocent," He whispered, lips leaving lips, going to ear and kissing it. It was warm, soft, like every inch of Levi's skin, he could just bite into it and chew for hours. "But I know it's not how you are," His hand, from his stomach dropped to between his asscheeks and squeezed them both with one, strong grip. "Will you stop being so shy?" He pressed more of his nose to Levi's temple, smelling his soft hair, making his stomach grow thousand of butterflies and lips pushing out a moan just from that. 

Levi felt the tips of his ears burning like they were in open fire. He pushed lightly Erwin onto the mattress, shifting and then landing on top of him.

"I swear, now, since I have you to myself, I will never let you go,"

Erwin's teeth sank down in his lower lip as Levi stripped from his black trousers and top. Milky body was well built and covered in rose blush now, then his pants were thrown to the carpet and eyes looked at him like on art. 

"I swear you are-"

"Will you ever shut up?" Levi asked smoothly. Two legs pushing between Erwin's ones and hands pushing him harder to the fabric. The knee rubbed against his groin, warm and still soft. "You speak way too fucking much instead of just doing things," He said and smirked when some buttons in Erwin were pressed and he could wish of gentle treatment this night.   
  
  
  
  
  


Somewhere in Sweden. 

Somewhere between warm spring and cold summer. Levi found himself feeling carless another day in the row now. With bigger hand constantly in his, holding him, strongly keeping between another five fingers. He walks proudly in between colourful buildings, with people around him and his boots hitting the stoned pavement, the fresh air hit differently. He was in a new place. Living here only for a week now, but everything seemed to go so well.

"It looks like worth to give a try,"

Levi pulled Erwin to the small restaurant with tables outside the building, with flowers on top of every glass looking like they just have bloomed. Erwin pulled a chair for Levi and ordered for him then for himself. 

His hand was always held by him, always you can tell since some months now. The thumb always caressed each of four knuckles and Levi always was telling something, having the taller man listening to him like a favourite radio station.

"Maybe I could open my own clinic here," 

Erwin would agree it's a good idea. Levi won't believe him and he would make him sure with a quick kiss.

"I don't know if it's too quick, since we move out so often-,"

"Levi?"

They both hear the name. In an unfamiliar and surprised way.

"Levi?"

Both of them looked in the direction behind Erwin. "Levi!" The voice said more surely now, happy and high. 

"Owen?" He blinked.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He said or shouted, getting closer, Levi stood and without second thought gave the man hug back, tightly squeezing his back for not less than five seconds. 

"Um," Levi glanced quickly at Erwin, then back at his old friend. Looking the same like in school days, maybe some inches taller, with some more wrinkles around his smile. "Just holidays," He blinked, still in small shook to see his old friend in here and that he was able to resemble him. "What about you?"

"I'm living here," He said shortly, the smile didn't leave his small face. His teeth were big, healthy and white. Handsome features, two dimples in both of cheeks, brown eyes and brown hair. A pleasure to look at. "It's crazy, really crazy!"

"Yeah," Levi said, glancing at Erwin again. He was observing, from Levi to the stranger, squinting eyes. "And, uh, this is Erwin,"

They held hands shortly and Owen eyed Erwin's whole closed posture. He had wide shoulders, silver necklace hanging with a small cross, gold watch on the wrist and heavy boots on.

"Are you Levi's friend?" Erwin asked before the man could ask anything.

"Yeah, actually we were best friends in school, but we both choose different ways," He scratched the back of his head, eyes again on Levi and smile again widened. "Hey, can I join you guys? I see you still have nothing on your table,"

"Actually-" Erwin started but Levi cut him off.

"Sure, there's a reason we meet here," He laughed shortly, giving him another chair. 

They spend the whole day together, mostly Levi and Owen talking but later Owen wanted to know something more about the blonde hair mysterious man that wasn't the happiest of the idea to share Levi with someone. It was Levi who kept answering his questions since Erwin wasn't a good speaker if it's about strangers. He didn't feel like opening up. 

Later in their new flat, light, with a lot of space and still lacking many of furnitures. Late in the evening with Erwin's sweater on Levi's shoulders. "Isn't it crazy? We could go anywhere and we end up meeting him here," Levi said on the floor, trying to get off the tightly laced boots. 

"It is odd." Erwin nodded, helping then Levi to stand up, holding his hand in a delicate way. "Maybe he's a spy?" 

"Yeah, and spying for what shit?"

He looked around, then down at Levi's soft features, tired eyes and corner of lips curled like a cat. "Evidence to lock me up?" 

Levi stared at him for a while then chuckled loudly. "You really are dumb. If you kept thinking everyone around you is a spy, you will quickly get crazy," 

"Maybe," He sniffed Levi's black hair and blinked. "Go and take a shower, you smell like him," 

Levi chuckled again, walking to the bathroom and stopping at the doorway. One leg curled on the wall, his hip rounded. "You going with me?"

Erwin shook his head, wrapping a scarf around his neck even when it was warm outside. "I have something to do,"

And he left like that. 

Erwin leaves often. For work. 

Sometimes he comes back late, really late at night. This time wasn't different. Levi felt asleep on the couch but the small light in the doorway was enough to wake him up after waiting for his boyfriend for the whole evening. 

He was dirty, tired and only glanced at Levi with no explanations in his intentions. 

"Where have you been?" Levi asked still sleepy. Hand on his hip and sleep under his eyes.

"Where else could I be?" He answered with another question, ignoring Levi and going to the bathroom. Levi followed him quietly, closing doors behind him so the wind won't come inside. He watched Erwin roughly getting rid of the dirty t-shirt, jeans, underwear and the cabin from the shower was roughly shut.

Of course, it happened. Even for people like Erwin to have a bad day. But lately, Levi noticed that his mood swings were happening more often and it was worrying.

He just sighed, getting out of his comfy clothes and getting inside quietly. He stood behind the big body, watching the muscles on back moving as Erwin rubbed his face harshly with soap. 

Fingers traced a few scars then he grabbed a shower gel and began to wash the muscled back smoothly, massaging his tensed shoulders on tippy toes. It smelled really good so Levi then pressed the tip of his nose and inhaled refreshing smell. 

Erwin turned around to him a moment later. Hot water dripping down from his hair to his face, showing how tired he really was. His thick brows were down, blinking at Levi, staring blankly.

"What," He said after the weird stare he received. He couldn't read him.

"Nothing," Erwin shrugged his shoulders, long hands by the sides of his hips. "I'm tired,"

"I can tell," Levi sighed, taking his blonde hair aside and blinking at his handsome features even now. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Erwin thought for a while and in the end, they ended up on the long couch. Levi's fingers were massaging the skin of his head, letting him think of what he wants to say. It was so quiet, maybe he fell asleep. Levi thought, but then suddenly.

"How can you be with me? When I'm such an awful person," Erwin let out. In a weak voice, like he hasn't speak in two days.

"Why you think you are awful?"

He moved on the bed, curling his long legs and hugging more into Levi's body. "You haven't seen the half of things I did," He said. "I'm scared if you did, you would hate me,"

Levi gulped.

"For example?" He asked, sounded normal but maybe deep down, he was scared. Sometimes it happened. Especially when Erwin kept being this mysterious. Or when he comes back with someone's blood on himself, speaking about what he would like to eat for breakfast.

He remembered something, then chuckled, it was out of strength. 

"When will you stop wanting me? If I kill half of the city? If I kill every person that will look at you? If I kill every person that's around you?"

"Why would I stop wanting you?" Levi asked ignoring the rest of his words. Like a life of others doesn't matter for him.

Erwin smirked. "I don't know. Lately, I've been having thoughts.. Why do you even love a person like me,"

He shifted, with a straight spine, looking at Levi. Really close to him. "Everyone always leaves, always are scared," He got even closer, like he was about to kiss him but instead he kept speaking. "Because they knew who I am. I'm a monster, Levi," He then chuckled straight to his face. "And you agree on being with a person like me, weren't you ever scared of me? That I could do the same to you,"

"No," Levi shook his head right away, seeing the pain in blue eyes hidden behind every chuckle or word. "I know you wouldn't,"

Erwin stared at him for a while, blinked and with a straight face said. "Good,"

He shifted again, thinking again, hearing Levi saying calming things again. "Do you hate me?" The blonde asks, with hands on his temple and fingers in his own wet hair. His longs legs stretched on fresh sheets in their bedroom bed and eyes locked on Levi. He didn't answer for a long time. "After everything that happened because of me? Do you really don't hate me?" His voice sounded sleepy. It was closer to four in the morning than to the two in the night. "You don't hate that you wanted me so much? So much you killed a person for me?" 

"I'm not blaming you for what happened, it was my choice to follow you,"

Erwin was quiet for a while, staring at the wall. Processing the answer.

"You expected me to answer differently? You wanted me to leave?" 

"No," He said finally, head falling to pillows, eyes closing. "I feel like, I lost sparkle at what I'm doing,"

Levi sighed, tired but he couldn't let himself fall asleep. He turned on side, holding his head by elbow on the pillow. "So do you want me to help you with finding it?"

Later, just some minutes later when Erwin felt asleep Levi couldn't. Thinking and searching for answers in the head for all the questions Erwin asked. Why he never thought of him as someone bad? Why he never felt odd hearing all the things he did? 

Why he kept wanting him? 

Staring aside, hearing the small breath, so calm, so vulnerable. Levi deep inside knew he needed him. He needed someone to straighten his spine when his shoulders would buckle down from the burden of responsibilities he had done. In the long run, he couldn't deal with loneliness, with the fact that nobody would love a person like him. And now, that such a crazy person is found, Erwin has difficulty accepting this.

Right.

Levi pressed glasses to the bridge of his nose more and moved the pen again.

He is distrustful. He is afraid that he will be lonely again, he is afraid that he can no longer be himself, that he cannot be the real monster. He stops himself and loses sparkle in what he does so good.

Levi closed the notebook, because he couldn't write it there. That no matter what he did, he would never leave him. 

"I've got another work," He said in the early morning. Just this night he came back after a few days and he has to go again. Levi wasn't the happiest of that. He was still sleepy, in his pyjamas with a warm mug of coffee in his small hand. While Erwin was already dressed, with cologne around his neck, watch on his wrist and stoic face expression. He approached Levi, looking him in eyes from above. "I have to leave for a few days,"

"Few days?" He asked sleepily.

"Mhm," Erwin watched his expression staying the same, grumpy and not happy. His thumb massaged Levi's chin and brought him to quick peck. "Will you be fine?" He asked still holding the chin.

Levi ignored his question and still feeling him on lips asked. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"I just got a text from my boss, you want to see it?"

Levi blinked, sighed and hung himself on Erwin's neck. His whole body was still warm after staying under thick sheets for eight hours. "How much days?"

"I will be quick as possible," The blonde sighed, hands holding Levi's body and at the back of his head the heat of Levi's bare thighs was making him stay longer. "You know how I hate to leave you alone," 

"Mhmm," Levi sighed, standing on his tippy toes and hugging himself into Erwin's whole body. He was always like a shield for him, strong, he could always hide behind him. He was warm, smelling so good. Levi closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. "I will miss you as fuck,"

Another deep sigh, the harsh hand followed Levi thigh up and down, feeling the shakiness in it. Levi's body moved even closer, bodies rubbing against each other making more heat. 

"I have to go before-," He sighed when Levi kissed him on the neck, slightly biting it. "You'll make me stay," 

Corner of his lips curled, standing even higher till his lips reached Erwin's ear. "Five more minutes?"

"Levi-," Erwin gasped. 

"What?" The smaller one asked innocently. Hugging himself onto the bigger body again, hands wandering around wide back while his lower body was wrapped around Erwin's. "You leave me just like that?"

"I would kiss you for goodbye," The blonde say, voice hoarse as his own hand betrayed him, reaching under Levi's top and slightly squeezing the soft skin there.

"And?" Levi asked.

"And that's it," He said, tried to be firm, with hand falling to his side but Levi had different plans. He turned around on heels and lifted his grey, too long sleeved top flashing with his flat tummy and standing pink cock from his underwear. He stood on tippy toes just to reach and rub against Erwin's bulge in rough, black jeans. 

"What are you doing," Erwin asked harshly, with the same force hand wrapped around Levi's waist, bringing him closer with one move like he was a toy. Nose dived in his black, smelling like apple hair and Erwin just waited for what was about to happen. He suddenly forgot about how in a rush he was. 

"You can't leave me like that," Levi's hands reached for Erwin's belt, it fell heavily to the floor with all the pants. Right hand squeezed the whole bulge through the fabric of pants and rubbed it quickly while his ass rubbed against the thigh. 

"So needy," Erwin mumbled only for his ear to hear. His heart grew two sizes bigger, the cock three sizes.

Levi indeed was needy. He was whimpering all the time under his nose, constantly biting lip to stop it, feeling embarrassed to be so excited just from the small friction. 

"Put them down," He said, face hot like boiling water. The cock jumped, slapping his ass and only with his sloppy wrist he directed the thick cock into his hole. He was masturbating just night before, so it was still loosened for Erwin to push deep inside with wet sound. 

"Mhhf, you feel fucking amazing," Erwin said, with hips slowly moving forward, feeling hot and how Levi's ass wraps around him.

"Ah," He closed his eyes, moving his ass constantly back, slapping at Erwin's lower stomach, the cock going deeper and deeper, hitting his prostate. He stopped Erwin with just one touch so he would stop moving and let just Levi fuck himself how he wished to.

"Ah, Erwin," Levi moaned sweetly, hips in quick pace moving up and down on the full length of his boyfriend's cock. "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah," His cock jumping with him, hitting his lower stomach and leaking. Indeed it was a quick need, ending it quickly as Levi's prostate was hit too many times in a short time. 

Erwin was gone for three days now and Levi got bored. He tried everything, cooking for himself but it wasn't that fun as for two, so he ordered food. He tried getting himself into some serial but always ended sleeping. So he called Owen. His only friend in this big country.

They meet up for a few drinks, nothing really serious cause Levi wasn't a heavy drinker.

When he came back the luggage was here. Additional pair of boots was here too. _He's back._ Levi thought with butterflies flapping their wings in his stomach. 

"Erwin-"

"Where have you been?" He asked right away, sitting on the edge of the sofa with hands on his chest and face still like a stone. His legs seemed longer today.

Levi knew he doesn't have to explain himself that's why he kept silently taking off his shoes and blouse. He tried to walk next to Erwin but he stopped him with a strong grip at his shoulder.

"Where have you been?" He asked again. Angrier. 

"Why you care? Do I ask you where you go every time?"

The grip tightened on Levi's shoulder and his gaze got sharper. "Let me go you fuck,"

"Why are you seeing him secretly?"

His blue eyes got darker. 

"I'm not doing it secretly," Levi moved backwards and Erwin moved forward closer to him. 

"Isn't it obvious that he likes you?"

"He likes me cause we were friends, geez Erwin," Levi finally pulled from his grip and their shoulders bumped when Levi moved forward. "You never had friends and it's not really a surprise to me," He shut the doors from the bedroom and yet Erwin went there some hour later when Levi showered and got into his pyjama. 

"I don't want to lose you," Erwin said, hip resting on the doors. Hands on his chest again and the white shirt seemed too tight in his arms.

Levi already calmed himself under the shower. So when he glanced at Erwin, he lost the feeling of punching him in the face.

"Come here you stupid fuck," 

He came closer, smelling like wind and cold. Now, in the blue eyes, Levi could only see the stars and ocean, not the storm. They twinkled nicely and at all didn't match the veiny shoulders. The sheets got messed from his body. 

"I really can't have not even one friend?" Levi asked close to Erwin, with hands touching his stomach, then chest and finally cuddling in.

He didn't answer. Letting Levi get closer to him, finally answering him with deep, heavy as a stone sigh.

"Fine," Levi sighed.   
  
  


Next day. Someone decided to interrupt the precious time Levi and Erwin got finally together.

Loud knocking went all over the house. "I will check who it is," Levi said. He opened doors, making the wind be an uninvited guest and Owen was here too. 

"Levi! Is Erwin here?" He said, making his voice quieter at three last words. 

"He's in a bedroom, what's wrong?"

"I have to tell you something! Can we go somewhere else?"

"Let's go to the kitchen,"

With voice low and hands shaking Owen began. "How much do you know this guy?"

Levi blinked. "For a long time now, what is this about?" He asked with a hand on hip and confuse on his face. 

"I saw," He gulped. "I saw him killing a person,"

Levi sighed, tried to act like he's surprised but maybe it went out not so smoothly.

"You need to get out from here, you are in danger," He continued, speaking like he was really worried for Levi's life. His hands tightened on his shoulders.

"I think, the only one in danger right now is you," Said a third voice. Of course, it could be only Erwin, entering the kitchen and closing doors behind him. Levi sighed knowing it all won't end well.

"Erwin, go back to the bedroom,"

He chuckled. "You go back to the bedroom. I think we have an uninvited guest," 

"I saw everything! And Levi knows too! There's no way you will get out fine with it,"

"You are so annoying," Erwin sighed, opening the first shelf and reaching for something. "I knew it would all end like that. I knew you will follow me, I knew you are the dog,"

"Are you a cop?" Levi asked with brows down.

"Yeah, I work as a cop for a while now but-,"

"See? You didn't believe me, Levi. You still want to keep your friendship?" Erwin pulled the knife and Levi made a step forward stopping him with his own body. "You want to choose between me and him?"

Levi quickly glanced at Owen, scared as shit, then at Erwin, calm and maybe with a small smile on his lips. He still stood on Erwin's way. "Don't do it," He whispered, but probably both could hear it.

"Out of my way, Levi," He said calmly yet he didn't flinch. Erwin made a step forward, the knife was turned with the sharp end to Levi's chest.

Levi stared straight into his eyes, the pupils were wider than ever, he could see his own reflection in there, not scared.

"Don't do it," Levi said again. Hearing heavy breathing from Owen behind him. He reached for Erwin's wrist, the silver knife touching the fabric of Levi's top and he gave him it back.

"Levi!" Owen shouted in surprise seeing that he holds the knife now. "Kill him! Or else he would kill us,"

Levi turned around, blinking at Owen. "Erwin? Erwin would never kill me," He said simply, taking a step closer. "You? I trusted you. I thought we could be friends, like in old times, but now I simply can't trust you. You followed him? You knew about him from the start?"

"No! I just," He choked on his saliva. "I just saw him- ," His mouth opened and throw up with blood as Levi stabbed him right in the stomach.

"This town indeed is small," He moved the knife again, wrist shaking from the force.

It dropped with a loud sound, dirty and when Levi turned around he was attacked by a pair of lips. His heart was beating quicker than ever, as his whole body was pushed to the wall, with knees bent in the air and Erwin pushing himself into him without any invitation.

"Fuck," Levi gasped for the air, grabbing Erwin by his neck and pulling him hungrily for another session of messy tongue kisses.

"What if he already told about it?" Levi gasped out, with hands on Erwin's shoulders as he thrusted into him how he liked.

"He didn't," Erwin said with one hand on the wall and second holding Levi's whole body. "I'm so fucking in love with you," He let out, face diving in Levi's sweaty neck and kissing it till it all was like one big bruise.   
  
  


In a few months living with Erwin, in a city where not a single soul could know him, Levi found his new self. 

He saw things normal people wouldn't see. With Erwin by his side, he felt powerful, like he could do anything and he would meet no backlash.

With hands on hips that gripped at them with unfamiliar force Levi gasped. His back touched a flat chest, curved ass touched bulge and breath stinking like alcohol tickled his adam's apple. 

He drunk a few, felt head dizzy and body losing its will to stand on his own legs. A hand wrapped around his waist strongly, making him stay still and brought him closer on the thick cock. 

"Are you good?" The man asked almost purring. Five fingers squeezing Levi's stomach like he wanted to rip the fabric. "Do you want another drink, honey?" With the words, he felt a kiss on the vein on his neck.

Levi turned around, leg wrapping around man's hip and thrusted his cock on his thigh. "I want you," He whispered, with grey eyes half closed and pinkness spread on his white cheeks. 

The man smirked, like he has just won ten million dollars and brought Levi even closer, ready to fuck him raw here just with his eyes. 

"I thought you would never say that,"

They walked to the back of the club, toilets. A place so dirty, if not the alcohol in blood Levi would never be here. They bumped at some kissing couples and locked themselves in the first cabin. 

Levi was pushed onto the closed toilet, with his face all red he smiled and bit down on his lower lip.

"You slut, I knew you were down for this the second I laid my eyes on you," The harsh hand grabbed his chin, squeezing it tightly, making Levi's lips open and crush at sides. "I will take good care of you now," He gasped, feeling like the blood flowing in the veins on his cock might just burst. 

Levi's hand reached for something. One to his pants and the second to the doors, unlocking it with one move.

"What you waiting for? Take it in your dirty mouth," 

Levi smirked, looking up and as he was about to unzip the pants, blood dripped down to the floor. The man gasped, falling down on Levi and Erwin caught him in time so Levi won't get dirty. 

"In time, it was more and more disgusting," 

He said standing on his shaky legs. Looking into blue eyes, he only saw a black hole, blank stare full of angriness that still held the heavy knife. 

He pushed the knife deeper in his stomach, moving it to sides and Levi grabbed at his wrist making him stop. "He's gone already. Stop,"

"He deserves so much more," Erwin said back, not calm at all.

The body has fallen to the toilet and Levi stood now in front of him. Pupils shaking crazy at each other. 

"The way he touched you," He started, Levi's hands on his cheeks. "I couldn't look at it, I thought I would kill him right there,"

"It's fine, Erwin," Levi said in a quiet voice. Hands falling down to the chest, rubbing it to fall down to the lower stomach and grab at the fabric from his shirt. "Wasn't it all our plan?" 

"It was," He said back.

"Didn't I did good?"

"You did well,"

"Yes?" His hands fell lower, to Erwin's crotch. He wasn't erected, he was still angry to see his boy in someone else's arms. 

"Mhm," He just nodded, deep breath leaving his lips when Levi rubbed his soft cock. 

"Killing him didn't help you?" 

Erwin wasn't sure what he felt. He hasn't been calm. "No," So he said, honestly.

Levi's hands stopped and opened the doors. "Let's try again then," He left the toilet, into loud music and Erwin followed him some steps behind. He caught Levi in the embrace, tightly holding him in the middle of the dancefloor with blue lights across his face and too loud music in his ears.

"Look around," Levi said close to his mouth. "Who should we choose?" He also looked around, catching some eyes on him and smirking back at them. "Maybe he?" He pointed smoothly at the brown haired man, tall and healthy. 

Erwin looked there, his hands resting solidly on Levi's lower back. "He might do," 

"Okay," Levi said so, kissing Erwin on cheek and whispering to his ear to go outside. Five minutes later he was outside too, with the same man to his side, holding onto his small hand. 

"Here, it's our uber," Levi pulled him to the black car, pushing man inside and when they got inside all doors in the car was locked.

"So what's your-" He couldn't finish, Levi's lips didn't let him. He pushed tongue deep inside his mouth and kissed him like how he would do that to Erwin.

"Enough talking," Levi whispered, kissing man again, feeling his hand, unsure, gripping at Levi's thigh, going higher where it curled and rested on his ass.

The small make out session was enough to make the guy hard as rock. The car stopped moving with all the windows black. Finger made some circles around button from his shirt and Levi asked. "What about a threesome? With my driver?"

"Huh?" The man looked at the driver, with a bizarre look on his face. "Are you serious?"

Erwin left the car second later and then the doors have opened. 

"Yeah," Erwin said. "It sounds good," 

"I don't know, I never had on-" He watched Levi leaving the car, his legs then were grabbed with amazing force and his whole body hit the ground. Erwin tied his legs and hands easily, placing a tape on his lips and switching black eyes to Levi. 

"A threesome," Levi said taking off his top, showing ribs, flat stomach like he hasn't eaten in weeks with muscular shoulders and back. "He will fuck me while I," He smirked, taking out a sharp knife, small enough to fit in pocket, sharp enough to cut some skin. 

Levi's pants were already down to his ankles, butt high near Erwin's cock that has been pushed deep inside him in a second. 

"I will play with you," He moaned at the end when Erwin reached his prostate with his long cock.

The man tried to scream when Levi cut his shirt open in half, the cold blade running down his stomach and leaving some fresh, red cut. It was nothing deep.

Erwin gripped more fingers on Levi's hips, leaving marks. "Did you saw how he looked at me?" Levi asked confidently, glancing at Erwin, seeing sweat on his forehead.

"He really thought I would just go and fuck with his dirty dick," The knife made another cut and Erwin kissed him on the shoulder with sound.

"Did you saw how we kissed?" Levi lowered his voice, smelling Erwin on himself. "I saw you watching how he pushed that tongue in my throat. You were watching all the time," Levi smirk got wider, knife pushing down onto man thigh when Erwin pounded into him. 

"They all want you," Erwin said quietly, for his ear to hear only. "They will never have you, never," He bit down on his shoulder. "You are only mine,"

Levi closed his eyes from the pleasure, the knife moved just like his hips, on sides. It was hard to do two things at one time.

They got rid of the body somewhere, in the forest. With Erwin in the front seat and small Levi on top of him, jumping with his bangs and open lips moving.

"Just like that," He whined, riding the cock third time this day. He was full and never enough of how good it felt. "Fuck, Erwin," His body felt like it could melt from one more touch. 

"I love you," The blonde said, hands feeling Levi everywhere so he would never run away. "So much," He added, to his shoulder while he ended inside him again, his thighs shaking and mouth leaving loud groan.   
  
  


Erwin's blood revenge was getting stronger. So did Levi's. He got quickly addicted to how smoothly it all went.

"See? It's easier like that," Erwin said next to his ear, kissing it softly. 

The man was lying on the floor, his diamond watch worth a couple of thousands was crushed by Erwin's shoe and Levi cleaned the corner of his mouth from the poison. Everything went smoothly. Levi was in charge of finding people, getting friendly with them while Erwin was doing the dirty work.

"I feel so much better," He said outside, holding Levi's small hand in his and moving it up and down. 

"I can't believe they pay you so much for killing old pricks like him," 

"It's not always that easy, baby," Erwin stopped, pushing Levi to the bricked wall and pushing knee between his legs. "But with you, everything is going so well," He stole a thousand kisses from him and sighed at the end. "With you, I can do so much more," 

"You grew on confidence again knowing that I won't leave you for who you are, right?"

"I know you were different, from the first time I met you, back then in that dirty alley. No one would help the man covered in blood. No one would keep a murderer so close to him,"

"I knew from the beginning you were someone special,"

And just like that Erwin and Levi kissed in the dark, tight alley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i will miss them


End file.
